The Day I Was Broken [Complete]

iii cont.

They were all relieved that he did not have his way, that he was no able to have sex with me. They didn't see a needto check on me to check my mental health.
Even when I stopped doing things I used to do before, when I stopped playing with friends. When I won't talk unless you asked me a question. No body stopped to know what my state of mind was.
I remember my six year old self talking to myself
" If I am quiet nobody would Notice me"
" If I stop playing with everyone boys won't notice me"
" Maybe it happened because I always wore more short uniform, I should wear the longer one"
" Maybe if I stop smiling nobody would Notice me"
At that point I wanted to be invisible if I'm invisible nothing would happen.
He didn't succeed in rapping me but I was scarred,my mind was raped even though my body came out untouched.
No friends.
Became quiet
Stopped smiling
Started wearing a longer uniform to school
Started wearing bigger clothes
At six I was tall, slim or should I say thin/skinny with long neck and long legs
How would someone had seem me has pretty
I remember hearing some senior girls laughing and saying see how she looks like she has kwashiorkor yet someone felt I was trying to draw attention to myself.
So I became the opposite of that vibrant bubbly little girl.
When it happened the adults said she's still a baby, she's still growing she would forget it as she grows.
Joke's on them. It's my seventeenth birthday I'm sitting on the balcony watching as the sun sets with no friends to celebrate my birthday with,my brothers doing boys stuff,my parents at work they said "it's Ella she won't mind..." No friends to celebrate with because they didn't understand what made me so withdrawn they said I got too proud....
It turns out to be that the incident became on ofy earlies memories.