Who We Have

Chapter 21

Lilly had asked Andy to help her out in the Garden. Because of the constant rain, she hadn't been able to plant the oaks yet, so she wanted to do it while the option was still available.

"I've already planted one, I wanted to plant the other with you," said Lilly.

"I haven't planted a tree before," Andy admitted, smiling.

They approached a dry spot in the dirt and Lilly brought the sapling from nearby. She placed the pot down and picked up the small shovel, handing it to Andy. Andy took it and stuck it in the soil for a moment before reaching into her pocket to pull out a hair tie. She tied her hair and Lilly watched quietly. Realizing she was staring too long, she chuckled and looked away.

"What?" asked Andy.

"Nothing, I just..." Lilly sighed, looking back at her. "I remember when I used to do just that before planting new things or fixing things up or harvesting." Her smile faltered for a moment as she considered her lack of hair. Andy was about to speak, when she saw tears forming in Lilly's eyes. Lilly did not break into a cry, she only wiped them away and sat silently.

"Does it scare you?" asked Andy.

"It did for a long time," said Lilly. "After a few years, I learned not to be afraid of it, but to hope instead."

"When were you diagnosed?" Andy questioned, putting gloves on.

"I was much younger when it first showed up. The tumor was smaller, so it was easier to handle, and eventually, the chemo took care of it enough for me to live a healthy few years. Then, two years ago, the pain started again." Lilly took a deep breath, which ended with a small cough, and then she cleared her throat. "This time, though, it was bigger. It's lasted these two years, and counting."

"I can't imagine what it must feel like," Andy stated.

"After enough time, I've gotten so used to it, that I forget to feel worry or fright for myself. The one thing that upsets me most is my family, what they will do when I'm gone," she admitted.

"Lilly," Andy started, "How do you know for sure? Maybe the treatment's working?"

"Maybe, but then again, maybe not," Lilly replied. "It hasn't changed for a little while now, so I don't know. It's not that I don't have hope to live, but I'm not afraid of dying anymore. I'm afraid of the impact."

Andy stayed quiet for a moment, looking at her. As she was going to reply, Lilly chuckled and spoke again.

"Adam told me the sweetest thing, not long ago," Lilly looked at Andy. "He said that you told him that this place will be a good reminder, he told me of how you were assuring him."

Andy was slightly shying from Lilly's words. "I just want to be there for him, however this plays out."

"I know," Lilly replied. "You already are, and I know you will be. A few months ago, when Adam was last here, he was always grim. He'd be upset more often than not, and it was hard to console him. I have honestly never seen him happier."

Andy looked hopeful, and she was smiling brightly. "He makes me just as happy."

"Is it hard?" asked Lilly.

"What?" Andy replied.

"Your situation, with him being your teacher and all," Lilly clarified.

"A bit," said Andy, "It's only hard because we can't do anything in public, can't go anywhere without driving for a while. But every second I spend with him is worth the wait."

"Damn right, and you two better make good of it," said Lilly.

Andy took hold of the shovel once again and grinned, tempted to tell her how much they do. "So!" she began, changing the subject, "What do I do?"