landslide, neil perry

seven.

after her revelation, celia looked back to the stars. they'd guided her through so many difficult moments and choices in her life before, and she now hoped that they would manage to help her make sense of whatever she was now feeling.

neil was her best friend. if she made a move, she would potentially jeopardize that. not to mention the inevitably horrid reaction from nolan if the headmaster ever were to find out. it wasn't worth her or neil getting expelled.

and that was if neil even liked her back. she thought that his glances and smiles could only point in the direction of his mutual feelings, but there was really no way for her to be sure. of course, that was unless she confessed her thoughts to him, which, again, could end in a backfire.

celia began to fiddle with her fingers, anxiously picking at the skin along the nails. she didn't have a single idea what to do now. she couldn't just walk back into the cave, no, not after this. what if she made a fool of herself and everyone hated her? or if neil hated her? but she couldn't leave, she didn't want to miss a meeting. and she did want to spend more time with neil. she cursed mentally, kicking at the grass under her feet.

and so her gaze shifted back to the stars.

she was practically begging the god, entity, whatever existed out there, to give her some sort of sign; a nudge in the right direction.

that was when neil walked out of the cave, joining her. 'well, here's your sign'. she thought to herself as her breath hitched in her throat.

"looking at the stars again?" the boy asked, smiling over at her. she nodded, remaining silent out of fear of saying the wrong thing. "this is going to sound silly, and super selfish," he warned, "but.. do you have.. feelings.. for charlie?"

celia turned then, sending him an incredulous look. "what?"

"i just mean.. you two talk a lot, and you're always joking around, and, i don't know, i guess i just thought there might be something there."

she snorted. "no, i do not have feelings for charlie." she assured him, attempting to keep her cool. this was a subject she didn't want to remain on.

"oh." neil said simply.

"why'd you ask?" she wondered aloud before she could stop herself.

the boy seemed embarrassed now, looking at his shoes. "just.. curiosity." he lied.

"oh." she said.

silence, much more uncomfortable than any they'd been in before, fell over the two. neither knew what to say, and neither knew how to say it.

"that was a lie." neil then said out of the blue.

celia had forgotten what they'd been talking about, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. so, at the sound of his words, she looked up. "hm?"

"that was a lie." he repeated. "about.. just being curious. i wasn't.. i wasn't just curious. about you and charlie. i was.. jealous." he admitted.

she looked over at him then, meeting his gaze. this had to be a prank. had cameron put him up to this? or charlie himself? whoever had come up with it must've thought he was so funny, but celia wasn't falling for it.

"what?" she mumbled, wanting to see how far he'd go with this.

neil cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "i.. i, uh. i guess you've become.. sort of my best friend. and it makes me feel a bit.. insecure.. when you're closer to him."

".. oh."

he mentally cursed himself. he sounded like such an idiot. he was messing this whole thing up. "no, i- i mean that.. i want to be the one with his arm around your shoulder. you know?"

it was then that celia finally caught on. a skillful poet, typically so eloquent with his word choice, wouldn't possibly become this flustered over a dare. he had to be genuine. "i didn't.. i didn't know that you felt that way." she admitted.

"i just want you to know that this doesn't change anything, okay? there's no pressure on you, please don't feel obligated to.. to feel the same, okay? i just.. god, the boys have been giving me such a hard time for this for so long now, and i guess i hadn't realized how right they were until i saw you with charlie." neil blurted. "they've been right this whole time, ceil. i've been falling for you since the minute you walked through the door, and i don't want to hide it anymore. i feel like i've known you my whole life already, and i still want to know more about you, and your life. and i don't think i'll ever get tired of learning about you. of hearing you read poetry, or hearing you talk about the stars, or anything else you want to talk about!" he seemed near tears as he met her eyes. "but if i want to be closer to you," he continued, "i have to start being honest with you. and the honest truth is that i'm falling for you."

celia keating had never been at a complete loss for words. not until now, at least. she felt a smile creeping onto her cheeks before she could even form coherent words, and so she moved towards neil, breaking the distance. her lips pressed softly against his cheek before she leaned back, looking up at him.

"i'm not as good with words as you are," she admitted, "but i want you to know that i feel the same way. i want to be closer to you, and i want you to be the one whose arm is around my shoulders, too."

neil's face broke into a grin. "really?" he asked, watching as she nodded, a smile equally as excited on her own face. "i.. would you maybe want to go on a date? we can go to lunch over a weekend, nolan can't get us in trouble."

she smiled. "yeah, yeah, that would be really nice." the two looked into each other's eyes, wondering what they were supposed to do now.

"hey, lovebirds!" charlie called from the cave below them.

the teenagers both jumped nearly out of their skin as they looked down at their friend. "how long have you been here?" neil asked, embarrassed. "and how much of that did you hear?"

charlie smirked up at them. "we only heard that last part, but it was really smooth, neil, you totally took all of the advice i gave you to heart." he said sarcastically. "come on; 'would you maybe want to go on a date'?. where's the emotion? the splendor?" he teased, climbing out of the cave, letting the other boys follow. "and you're welcome, by the way. the arm around the shoulder jealousy trick? works like a charm." he said, patting neil on the chest.

"hey!" neil said, catching on.

"give it a rest, charlie, give your tips to knox." celia groaned, following him along the trail back to the school. she and neil walked next to each other now, and she noticed that neil couldn't manage to wipe the elated smile from his face the entire way back.