KAMI ༘ monoma neito

ʚɞ20

Her heart ached
at the blonde man's reply
to her poem.
She missed him dearly.

Hurriedly,
she sneaked out of their household
in hopes to find
the blonde boy.
She knows
that being with him
will only hurt the blonde,
but she wishes to see him
once more
before she will be sent off
to become a concubine.

Panting heavily,
she arrived at the torii gate
and bowed.

"Neito!"
She calls
and searches inside
the shrine office.

Empty.

She felt her heart aching
but she brushed this off,
thinking that he must be out
in the forest again.

She searched the forest,
where they went to get spices,
she went to the waterfall,
she went near the cliff.

She could not find the blonde.
It is fine,
when I go back
to the shrine,
he must be waiting there.
The lady thought
and went back to the shrine.
She didn't mind
the shivering temperature
and neither the darkness
of the sky
for it had turned night time
hours ago.

But still,
the blonde was not there.

She felt her eyes sting once more
and her heart felt like it was punctured.
She kept going in and out
of the shrine office
in hopes to see the blonde,
but there was no sign of him.

She enters
the blonde's room
for the umpteenth time.
The drawer.
She felt utterly foolish
for not checking the cabinets.

A letter?
The lady saw
a folded paper
in one of the drawers
and quickly opened it.

Dear lady Y/N,

You are a stubborn woman
at times,
so I know
you will come back here
in the shrine
in search of me.

Lady,
I am grateful to you,
for I have not felt alone
and enjoyed our time together.
But blissful moments
do not seem to always last.

The more I think
about how much I felt for you,
the image of my parents
being taken away
haunts me,
and the pain is too impossible
for me to bear.

I have left the shrine
to head to another village,
or perhaps
to another shoddy shrine.
Please,
do not look for me
and live your life
like that of a noble.
Live your life
the way you lived before
when you have not met me.

I am sorry.

Monoma Neito

The lady
grips on the letter
as her tears flowed nonstop.
She rushes out of the shrine,
as if the blonde was waiting for her,
telling her that everything
was a damned joke.

"Neito!"
The lady screams.
Her whimpers were loud
as she could not hold in
what she felt deep inside.

Her eyes landed
on the haiden. Kami.
She scurries to the haiden
to pray.

She throws a coin,
but she does not feel satisfied
and empties her small pocket bag
filled with coins
into the offering box.

Splatters of coins
dropped to the ground
and one shiny coin
got stuck
in between the wooden planks.

She rings the bell,
she bows and claps twice
with a trembling body
and shaky hands.

With quivering lips,
she prayed.

"Kami!
I beg of you!
Please forgive me,
for I have hurt Neito!
Please,
I do not care anymore
if you do not bestow me
a lover,
but for the next lives to come,
let our souls cross once more
and give us the happiness
that we deserve!"

The lady drops to her knees.
But the hole in her heart
was more painful
for her to notice the throbbing pain
on her knees.
She sobs on the ground
and keeps praying
and praying
the same thing all over again.

Inside the haiden,
hidden behind blocks of wood,
sat a whimpering blonde man.
His hands were covering his mouth
to suppress a loud sob.

Kami,
I do not wish for more,
but for the lady's prayer
to be answered.