Losing your soulmate to a herd of bloodthirsty chipmunks is never a good way to start your day. Not learning his name before his untimely decapitation? That's even worse.
Wattpad-obsessed Sophie has never been in love. When a handsome new student pr...
True love? A human friend? Wattpad? Sophie wasn't sure what Jaxon and Zach-Xavier-Xane would consider an acceptable reason to keep the earth intact, but she knew that, between the two of them, they'd come up with something. They had to; where else was she supposed to live out her epic love story?
Zach-Xavier-Xane looked at Jaxon. Jaxon looked at Zach-Xavier-Xane.
"But..." Jaxon's face fell. "Big explosion?"
"No big explosion," Cora said. "But you get to eat lots of acorns."
"But I want a big explosion."
"Death is life and life is death." Zach-Xavier-Xane nodded sagely. "We must break the cycle."
"Big explosion!" Jaxon grinned, jumping up in the seat, smacking his head on the car's ceiling, then falling back into his seat. He rubbed his head, frowning. "Ow."
"But—You guys—We can't just destroy the world!" True, climate change was a bit of a downer and sometimes people were so senselessly hateful that Sophie wanted to lock them in a room with only three poorly written Fifty Shades of Grey knockoffs for entertainment and not let them out until they successfully passed an ethics exam, but there were good things on earth too. What about Wattpad? Ice cream? Wattpad stories about ice cream? Sophie looked to Cora for help.
Cora shrugged. "Well... Let's remember that we all live on earth. Are you trying to die?"
"We'll party in the afterlife," Jaxon said helpfully. "Honestly, Cora, do you listen to anything I say?"
"Maybe I'd listen more if you ever said something of substance."
"Enough of this needless discussion." Zach-Xavier-Xane waved a hand. "Take them away."
And that was that. Sophie watched as a werewolf ripped the roof from the car with a single swipe of their paw. There was an awful shrieking noise as the metal bent, then broke. She watched as a pair of muscle-bound men yanked Jaxon from his seat, watched as three werewolves pulled Cora away from her, and she watched, helplessly, as Zach-Xavier-Xane bundled her into his arms and said, "Now now, meat. It's time to get married. Then we'll destroy the world."
"Well—" Sophie started to speak.
"Shhh." Zach-Xavier-Xane pressed a blood-stained finger to her lips. "All's well. I'm here now."
"Can we—"
"No sex before marriage. Sorry, meat."
Sophie wondered whether it was possible to gauge his eyes out if she glared hard enough. She tried her best.
"You're cute when you're angry," Zach-Xavier-Xane said.
Sophie groaned. Then, she put on her most unnatural smile, peeling her lips back and baring her teeth at him. His eyes—literally—darkened, the whites turning a charming shade of puce green, the black of his pupils spiderwebbing outwards like cracks on a window.
"Maybe we should rethink that no sex before marriage rule."
Sophie wanted to scream. Maybe she needed to rethink her stance on physical violence. "We're not flirting," she said through gritted teeth.
"Of course not, meat." He grinned. "We're past flirting. We're basically married. Here, I've got a ring."
He jammed a plastic, silver-painted ring onto her finger. A gem sat on top of the band, hot pink and as fake as the ring itself.
"Now we're married," he declared.
Sophie decided it was better not to talk to him.
Zach-Xavier-Xane carried her back to the school. Walking into school felt like stepping inside a nightmare. Bodies littered the ground, arms bent backwards, legs spread akimbo, the floor stained red with blood. She thought she spotted her ninth grade biology teacher slumped over—dead or unconscious, she couldn't tell—by the stairway down to the basement, but before she could check, Zach-Xavier-Xane was pushing her forward. He let her walk on her own once they past the entry doors, although he poked and prodded her whenever she glanced in the wrong direction. She wanted to believe he was simply too weak to carry her the whole way.
Looking at his heavily-muscled arms, she suspected he was just lazy.
Maybe it was desperation, but Sophie's head felt clearer as they walked. She made notes of little things—just in case. Zach-Xavier-Xane did command the men and women around him, but they exchanged glances whenever he gave an order, looking to each other first to see if they would follow it. He went so far as to shove her forward when she stalled by the language hall, and he hesitated by the door to the auditorium, his black eyes wide and reverent.
By the time they reached the math hallway, her shirt was soaked to the skin with blood.
"Could I—" Sophie tugged on Zach-Xavier-Xane's shirtsleeve.
"Yes meat? My most raw meat? My most old and decrepit meat? What do you need?" Zach-Xavier-Xane knelt before her, taking her hand in his, and stared lovingly at the ring on her finger.
"Yeah... I uh... I need a doctor." The skin around her collarbone was red and raw, the injury so bloody she couldn't see the wound itself, but every step sent a sharp, jagged kind of pain pulsing up her arm. Her head felt funny.
"Oh no. We can't have that."
"Well, could I just get like a bandage or something? Pretty please?" She forced herself to smile up at him. Her vision swam.
"Goddess no! Absolutely not. It's against our religion."
"That's unfortunate," Sophie mumbled. The walls were blurry, the lockers swaying like seaweed in the ocean.
"When you agree to the mating bond, you sacrifice your right to live. Either the bond kills you or you change. Either way, your mortal form is dead."
"That's mean." Sophie frowned. "Did I... Did I ever agree to this mating bond?"
"I saw your agreement in your eyes."
"But consent is... Consent is important."
Zach-Xavier-Xane's forehead crinkled. He leaned forward, his eyes charcoal-black, his brows drawn together like he couldn't quite understand her. With genuine curiosity, he asked, "What is consent?"
And then the world turned Wattpad-orange, Zach-Xavier-Xane grew wings like an angel, the floor became an endless sea of hearts, and Sophie promptly passed out.
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What is the best way for Zach-Xavier-Xane to die? Your options include:
a) Cora explains the concept of consent to him and his heart explodes with shame
b) Sophie gnaws on his neck until his head falls off
c) Jaxon accidentally explodes him instead of the world
d) Why would we kill him? He's hot! We must keep him alive at all costs!
