SECRETS | j.b

8: "I trust you're not lying to me, and that better not have been Elizabeth."

Elizabeth's POV

He kissed me.

He's still kissing me.

I was wondering when this would happen but since he had avoided me all day, I figured the chances were nonexistent at this point. It looks like I was wrong. He was kissing me and I was kissing back.

At first my brain told me to stop, saying he didn't mean any of it. But when our lips met and I could finally feel that he was kissing me, and he meant it, I kissed back. I ignored all the warnings that were thrown at me by my brain and listened only to my heart I loved him. I loved him now more than ever.

The sensation didn't last long because of my damn logical side. It couldn't let me believe that he could feel this way that I could feel this way. I couldn't breathe or think straight.

I pushed him away from me, "You should go," I said running to my room as fast as I could, hoping that he didn't follow me. I opened my door quickly and  closed it behind me.

I slid down the door not being able to catch my breath yet. I heard a knock on the door, "Elizabeth please talk to me," Justin's voice echoed through the hollow door.

I couldn't speak, I could only sit there trying to catch my breath. After a few moments of silence, I heard his footsteps fade down the hall and then the front door open and close. I wasn't sure what happened but I know that it wasn't what either of us expected.

I placed my head in my hands and it was then that I realized that I had been crying. I silently hope that he hadn't seen me cry. I stood up and went into the bathroom, I was still having trouble breathing but I needed to calm down.

I undressed quickly and climbed into the shower. I had the water on hot, still sobbing a little. When I finally got out I could breath but I was still a little upset. It was like a sudden bolder hit me and I didn't know what to do about it.

Could he really of meant what he said? Did he really feel this way about me?  There was no way... You don't just all of a sudden know you love someone, he would of said something before, right? I was starting to feel panicky again and it felt like my lungs were collapsing. I decided it was best if I went to sleep for the night so I got out and got dressed in some regular pajamas. That familiar feeling is coming back. But instead of harm, I pull out my headphones and turn my music all the way up. Slowly drifting into sleep as music starts to fill my ears and heart.

"I thought that I've been hurt before
But no one's ever left me quite this sore
Your words cut deeper than a knife
Now I need someone to breathe me back to life

Got a feeling that I'm going under
But I know that I'll make it out alive
If I quit calling you my lover

Move on

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe
I'm shaking, falling onto my knees
And now that I'm without your kisses

I'll be needing stitches

Tripping over myself
Aching, begging you to come help
And now that I'm without your kisses

I'll be needing stitches

Just like a moth drawn to a flame
Oh, you lured me in I couldn't sense the pain
Your bitter heart cold to the touch
Now I'm gonna reap what I sow
I'm left seeing red on my own

Got a feeling that I'm going under
But I know that I'll make it out alive
If I quit calling you my lover

Move on