SECRETS | j.b

11: "Hearts will be skipping beats, pulses will be sky rocketing."

Elizabeth's POV

I finished the soup. It actually felt like it might stay down, and Justin was now lying on my bed with me. There was no sound in the room and neither of us spoke a word. My eyelids were feeling heavy but I was fighting to stay awake since I didn't want to miss any time with Justin. I knew that it wasn't that big of a deal that he was here because he had been here before with me, but this time was different. Something in me made me want to take the time and just enjoy it.

Justin held me with one arm around my torso and the other tucked under his head. My head rested on his chest, it rising and falling as he breathed. The sound of his heart beat lulling me further into the waiting sleep. I looked at his face and he seemed to be thinking deeply about something.

His expression worried me slightly; I had only just accepted my feelings for him so I didn't want anything getting in the way of finally being with him. I leaned my head up and kissed his cheek lightly, smiling as he looked down at me. A small smile on his face, "If you're sleepy then you can go to sleep I won't leave unless you want me to," he said reading the exhaustion on my face. I smiled again as he leaned down pressing his lips to my forehead, "Sleep," he whispered into my ear. He began to hum lightly; I placed my head back down and listened to his heartbeat and humming closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Justin's POV

I was fighting with myself on if I should ask her. Part of me believed that it was none of my business, but the other part wanted to know so bad that it was killing me.

Elizabeth stirred in my arms and I felt her place her lips to my cheek. As I looked down at her, I couldn't keep the smile from my face. I could tell she was worn out from being sick and she was on the verge of falling asleep right there. "If you're sleepy, then you can go to sleep. I won't leave unless you want me to," I said leaning down and pressing my lips to her forehead, felling a slight fever still. I could see the protest in her eyes, knowing she didn't want to give into the sleep, "Sleep," I whispered quietly into her ear and began to hum a random tune that had been stuck in my head for a while now. It wasn't much of a real song yet, just notes that my mind strung together.

I waited till I was sure she was asleep to take my eyes off of her. I looked back to the ceiling fighting with myself again. I told myself that it didn't matter what happened between them because she was mine now and it wouldn't happen again if anything did in fact happen.

I sighed to myself, I couldn't keep her from seeing him if she really wanted to, but I could keep her from being alone with him. I took a deep breath trying to clear my mind and focus only on the feeling of her breathing and the subtle feeling of her heartbeat.

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to more happy things. Things like the girl I now held in my arms and how things would finally get better for the both of us. She was so much stronger then she thought she was, and I knew that she would realize that soon she just needed the time to distance herself from her mistakes and give herself time to be happy.

My mind goes from thinking i have logic to "joiealhrngerkdjshnvlkzjhdnsf". It kind of sneaks up on you. I get to see Elizabeth, and all of a sudden i find yourself wanting to see her more, and I'm not entirely too sure why. Just something about her makes me smile. I talk to her as much as i can, or you at least try to, but to be honest sometimes I find myself at a loss for words. It's because she's gorgeous; I literally lose every thought in my mind. The only words I can muster in my mind are "wow! this girl" and I WANT to tell her.

But I know it's not the right time, and I'm worried I'll just scare her off. I think that for a number of reasons... She could have been hurt in the past by a guy and I don't want to be associated with him by a stereotype, Elizabeth could not be interested in me and think I'm creepy, the usual stuff. As I talk to her more and more and time passes by. Days. Weeks. Months. However long it takes...I find my days strange if you don't talk to her. She's on my mind all the time. Everything from "man I wish she was here" to "I can't get over how beautiful her eyes are, I see them every time I close mine."