SECRETS | j.b

2: "Stop acting so special! What I did has nothing to do with you!"

The next few days went by crazy fast, there had already been a viewing and a funeral. I hadn't been in school for almost two weeks but I made to sure to at least stay caught up with all of my work. The school had exempted me and Olivia from attendance but we still had to do the work some of our teachers sent home for us. When I finally had to go back to school, I was worried I wouldn't know how to act. 

I won't know how to act normal.

I woke up the same as I always did but a little more hesitant than usual. I took a shower and changed into a black shirt with a panda face and arms holding a stick of bamboo with ninja stars in the corner, typical black skinny jeans, black and white converse, and my black veil brides army dog tags. 

I went to the kitchen and got a granola bar and a banana. I walked out of the door and headed to school. I put in my head phones and turned the music up all the way I blasted "greatest hip hop hits"  all the way to school and even when I got there. I just don't feel like being around anyone yet. 

I went to my locker and got all the stuff I needed for the first three periods and put away the stuff I wouldn't need till later. I waited for the locker to slam shut and it didn't. I sighed he was probably off sucking face with Asia, why did I even care I didn't want to be around any one. I closed it and went to first period. 

I still had the music blasting. I didn't even need to pay attention I had already covered this whole chapter when I was at home and I had all the work to turn in to show it. When the bell  finally rang, I took the earphones out and walked to the teachers desk. I gave her the biology work that I had done the night before and she gave me a sympathetic smile but didn't say anything. 

I walked out of her classroom, placing the head phones back in my ears. I went to my locker and noticed that Justin still hasn't came to bother me. At this point, i'm not even sure he's here at school today. 

I walked over to Jasmine and she gave me a hug but we didn't exchange any words. We walked together to math class and when i got there, I gave the teacher the work and went to my seat. 

Again, I sat there and didn't pay attention since I had done all of the work already. Putting my head on my desk, I began to really listen to the song that was playing. 

"Everybody Dies in Their Nightmares"

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
[I] really wanna die in the night time

Only time I feel pain, when I'm feelin' love
That's why it's tatted on my face that I'm damn numb

Only time I'm in my mind, when I'm all alone
That's why I'm really never alone in the night time

Change hoes like clothes, I can't get attached
'Cause these hoes fire starters like lit matches
I've been feeling really lost, ducking all attachments

I don't really go outside 'cause I hate traffic
I don't wanna go outside, get caught in traffic.

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
[I] really wanna die in the night time

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
[I] really wanna die in the night time

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game