Hyacinths

Growing Pains

  "I need to talk to you."

  Alex's stomach twisted into a knot. He had never heard Wilbur speak like that before, not even during their last "date."

  Wilbur's voice was always sweet, kind, caring, it always made Alex feel as if he were in some kind of dream. But now it was guilty, pained, serious, and Alex was awake.

  "O- okay... Niki can you-"

  "Yeah, of course," Niki responded, knowing exactly what her friend was going to say. Her voice sounded sympathetic and understanding.

  Alex nodded and then looked back at Wilbur who still hung his head.

  Alex walked out from behind the counter and led Wilbur to a table over by the corner of the café, where they'd be out of earshot from everyone else.

  After they sat down they just stared at each other for a while before Alex spoke.

  "Is everything okay Will?" Alex asked.

  Wilbur shook his head and then took a deep breath, "Alex... I... I haven't been honest with you."

  'What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?'

  "About... About what?" Alex questioned further, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

  "The other day..." Wilbur continued, "you asked me if I had had any other partners in the past. And I id no... And that... That was a lie."

  Alex felt the knot in his stomach untie and he fought the urge to sigh with relief.

  'Seriously, Wilbur? You scared the absolute shit out of me for that?'

Alex shaped his face into a reassuring smile, "Really? Wilbur I really don't care if I'm your first partner or not. It's no big-"

  "Alex I don't think you understand."

  "Wilbur. You're fine I promise it's not a big d-"

  "I have a kid. Alex."

  Oh.

  Alex's smile dropped off his face. It felt as if someone had punched him directly in the gut, then kicked him a few times, just for good measure.

  He stared at Wilbur, the brunette's warm brown eyes were full of tears.

  "Oh..." Alex mumbled, dipping his head down, unable to look at Wilbur's pitiful expression any longer.

  "Look, Alex... I understand if this is too much," Wilbur mumbled. Then, he seemingly couldn't hold it in any longer, tears began to roll down his face and his voice cracked as he spoke, "And if you never want to see my goddamn face again... That'd be fine."

  Alex didn't know what to say or what to think.

  Something in the back of his mind screamed, "Leave, walk away, call him a liar and leave him. There's plenty of fish in the sea. You can find someone new."

  And part of that was true. Alex could find someone new. Alex could walk away right now and probably find a new man within a month.

  There were plenty of people in this world.

  But there was only one Wilbur, wasn't there?

  Only one man who would sit outside the café, singing and playing his guitar as loud as possible so that Alex could hear just because he knew it made Alex's shifts just a little bit better.

  Only one man who would show up several minutes before Alex gets off work just so he could talk to him and watch him work.

  Only one man who could make Alex feel the way Wilbur did.

  There was only one Wilbur.

  "I don't hate you Wilbur..." Alex mumbled, "I can't hate you."

  Wilbur looked up, a glimmer of hope in his tear-filled eyes.

  "But I don't know if I can do this..." Alex muttered.

  Wilbur froze, he looked down once again, "I understand..."

  "But I love you, Wilbur, and I don't think I can just leave you... I need time Wilbur..." Alex contained. His own words felt like a knife directly in his gut.

  Different emotions waged wars in his head and he knew this was the best he could do. This would give him time to think, time to weigh his options, and time to let it all sink in.

  "Okay," Wilbur said, nodding his head, "okay," he repeated, this time in a softer tone.

  Wilbur stood up.

  Part of Alex ached to tell him to sit back down, to tell him to stay, to run over and hug him and simply never let go.

  But, Alex stayed silent and still.

  "I'm gonna go now, and I'm not gonna come back, or even come near you until..." Wilbur cut himself off. He gulped and closed his eyes.

  "Unless," he corrected himself, "you want me to."

  And with that, every reminisce of hope Alex had simply shattered.

  Wilbur hadn't even begun walking away, and Alex already wanted to yell at him to come back. It was pathetic, Wilbur had lied to him, and Alex couldn't even be mad.

  He looked at Wilbur, the look in his eyes seemingly begged for Alex to stop him.

  Alex finally felt the tears pooling in his eyes.

  "Okay," Alex mumbled.

  He wanted to say more but couldn't. No other word would form.

  Alex watched as the hope flickered away from Wilbur's eyes.

  And then, he knew it was over.

  Even then, Alex couldn't stop the ache in his chest as Wilbur nodded, then turned around and walked away.

  Alex ignored the tears that ran down his face and the eyes of the other café patrons that rested on him.

  All he wanted to do was chase after Wilbur.

  And Alex would never know what went through Wilbur's head as he stopped for a second after he had left the café.

  But, he was nearly sure he was thinking the same thing.
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  Word count- 940

  WE ARE BACK BITCHES