P.s i still love you

Ch. 28

Louis POV-

I really do miss Harry. I wish we could go back in time.

Why did he have to leave me? Does he not realize what he has done?

He fucking ruined me. He fucking shattered my heart and left the pieces stranded somewhere hidden or far away, because now i cant even try to bandage the pieces together.

What is wrong with him? How heartless did he have to be to actually leave me alone on this earth.

It was all his fault. It was his fault he ended his life. It was his fault he got hurt because of the things i said to him. It was his fault he was so sensitive. It was his fault he was so insecure.

No, no it wasn't. It was my fault. Everything.

I got up from my bed and swallowed hard before walking towards the mirror.

They tell you that if you cant see anything beautiful about yourself then you should look a little closer, get a better mirror, or even to stare a little longer. But no, if i do any of those then i will pick out every flaw on my body.

The way my hair was too messy. I hate how my eyes are a boring shade of green. I hate how my smile causes me to have those little lines on my face. I hate how my ribs pop out and no matter how much i work out i can never even get a 'fit tummy'. I hate my size, because people underestimate me for it. I hate me.

Do you see what i mean?

Why can i just be normal?

I start to get frustrated as i let out a groan and start to feel the way-too-familiar itchy-burning sensation on my wrist.

I remember how i kept a rubber band around my wrist for times like this. I can usually just pull it back and snap it against my wrist a few times before im pleased with myself, but not this time.

I continue to stare into the mirror and pick out all of the flaws on my body. Nose is too small... My thighs made me look feminine...

I grabbed my phone to see if i looked the same on my camera. Obviously i did.

I didnt think twice before throwing my phone at my mirror as hard as I could. Im not sure which one shattered first. The mirror, the phone, or my heart.

This is all my fault, what the hell. Look at the mess i made.

Well, shit. I started to laugh histerically.

The longer i looked at it, the harder i laughed. Im not sure whats so funny.

I layed back on the floor, sprawling across the broken glass, still laughing.

I was doing what I guess would've been a snow angel if it wasn't glass beneath me.

I felt the glass cut straight through my skin, but that didnt stop me.

When i decided to clean it up, i was still giggling, though I was a bit out of breath.

As i pick up a sheet of glass, i look at how sharp the edges were. I run my finger along the edge and grin at the blood that was all over me. I could end all this pain right now, both emotional and physical.

Plus, i didnt want to miss my chance on getting to be with Harry again, did i?

I heard someone rush through the bushes outside my window and then fumbling with my lock.

But it doesn't make me stop.

I could just stop everything, and be with Harry for the rest of my time in whatever 'afterlife' was like.

That sounded like a good enough plan for me.

Yeah, lets do that. I mean, even if the pain was bad, it would have to stop at some point.

I point the tip of the glass onto the large vain poking out at the top of my wrist.

I smile as i say to myself what i thought to be my last words, "see you soon, Harry."

Just then, the door opened to reveal the oh so familiar face.

A/N

HAHHAHA