P.s i still love you

Ch. 30

Louis POV-

The first thing i did when I woke up was feel around for Harry. My heart rate sped up as i realized there was no one else in my bed with me.

It was just a dream wasn't it?

I felt the first tear fall and didnt try to stop it. I couldn't stop them, actually. They just kept flowing.

How dumb did i have to be to think Harry might've actually been alive still?

It just didnt make any sense.

I brought my hand up to my forehead to feel stitches. Then i looked at my arm and saw it all stitched up too.

Well then if it wasn't Harry, who was it?

I started sobbing when I thought about how it must've all just been hallucinations.

What seemed like only moments later, the door opens and i see the messy head of curls backing into my room... with a plate?

He is alive. This wasn't a dream.

He turns around as soon as he gets inside and his happy expression quickly turns to worried. He sets the plate on the bed and asks, "are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"I dont believe it." I say.

"Dont believe what?"

"You're really alive. Where the hell have you been? The heart monitor went flat. You died. Now you're sitting here breathing. Do you know what I've gone through?"

"Lou, its a long story..."

"Plus, aren't you supposed to hate me? Wasn't i the reason that you 'died', and besides, I've got time to listen." I say angrily, but the last thing i wanted was for him to leave again, so i was careful.

"You were once again making fun of me. You kissed me, and then you laughed. I know you love me, louis. I know you do. Just stop hiding it. Anyways, i sat in the bathroom and when I did it-"

"But you didnt expect it to actually almost kill you." I cut him off.

"Yeah, somewhere along those lines. I passed out in the hospital and then when I woke up it was only Simon in the room. He said the other boys went to go eat. He told me that if i came out of this hospital alive then i would become the center of attention. He told me that I should stay hidden for a few weeks. He managed to bribe the doctor into making the heart monitor flatline with a couple thousand dollars. After that, when you guys came in i had to try my hardest to stay still. I felt you and heard you talking to me, Louis. I knew you were there." After you guys left the hospital, Simon took me to his summer house and told me i could stay there. Its not too far from here.

I decided to drop hints to you that I wasn't gone by sending you packages. However, i didnt get to finish them considering what happened yesterday.

I couldn't help but run inside when I saw you like that. I didnt want you to hurt yourself." He finished.

"When are you going to tell the guys?"

"I dont know, i just want the media to settle down." He says shrugging his shoulders.

"Is that for me?" I ask pointing to the food he brought in which smelled delicious.

"Yeah, here."

He hands me the plate along with a fork.

"How did you learn to stitch me up like you did last night?" I ask through my mouthfuls of food.

"Oh, i guess i learned a few things while i was 'away.'" He smiled.

I quietly finished eating my food.

"Harry, i really didnt mean anything i said, you know that right?"

A flash of pain clouded his eyes, "what?"

"I mean like, before you hurt yourself. I do, however, mean everything im about to say right now." I start off, "i love you. More than anything else. I guess i was just afraid of being different. When we were bestfriends, i had always felt something for you. But all the 'fag' hate got through to me and I couldn't take it. I know how many 'larry shippers' there are, but i only saw the hate. But not anymore. I really do love you. And no matter how much hate i get for it, or how much i try to hide the feelings, it wont go away.

I never want to lose you Harry. You're the best person in my life and i really dont deserve you or anything you do for me. I wish you could see that. I really do."

"I know that you love me, Louis. I have known, i do know, and I will know for a long time. I dont think i could forget it, actually."