The Girl Who Broke

Chapter 4: Exposure

Chapter 4

I told my parents about cutting. They completely freaked. At times I wish I hadn't because I had hit my all time low, with more than 50 cuts on my stomach and starving myself. Not little cuts. Long cuts plus, they are deep. I know what triggered it but I choose not to tell them. I don't want them thinking that I'm hurting because of them. I started cutting again because I caught my dad watching porn and that pushed me over the top. I refused to tell anyone that I was going to cut. It took me three days to get up to 50 cuts. Me, constantly being scared someone would touch my stomach and they would start to bleed, I wore black tank tops under everything. Thank god it never started bleeding.

The day of conferences with my science and social studies teacher, I decided to go to the (dreaded) counselor's office. I had been planning to tell my parents that I cut a week and a half from then but at course, that wasn't good enough. After both of the conferences (all positive responses), I took my mom to the counselor's office. I stayed outside for I didn't want to watch her cry. I just sat outside the room and cried and cried. I was so scared and disappointed! I didn't want to show them the cuts. I didn't want to ruin our family. I especially didn't want to stop cutting. Luckily, my favorite seventh grade teacher came and saw me sitting there. "My mom is in there getting told" She knew what I meant. When I eventually calmed down, she went and got a snack from the teacher's office. We sat and talked about how everything was. I was not crying but still not prepared for the treacherous journey ahead of me...