Chapter 6
"THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND," I scream in my head to myself, "How the hell am I supposed to just stop? Everything and everyone is making me so nervous."
"Just say this," my dad says, "I'm safe, I'm secure, I'm in control. I'm calm, I'm relaxed, I'm letting go."
"What if I'm none of those things?" I think to myself.
At this point, I like school more than I like coming home to the "hell house." All everyone does to me is make me feel like shit and stupid.
"I have therapy tomorrow don't I?" I ask.
"Yeah." Mom says.
***the next day***
When I get to the therapy center, I realize that, oh shit, dad is here too. We wait next to each other for a half an hour in an awkward silence. Well, my ex-boyfriend was there so I texted him. I knew that I still loved him. AWKWARD!! Then Brandis walks out and tells me to walk back with her. "Don't fake anything today," I think to myself. We walked awkwardly down the hall into her fresh smelling room.
"How've ya been, Abigale?"
"Different."
"For sure, your parents called me. How do you think you've been doing?"
"Fine."
*Awkward silence* I felt her uneasy stare.
"How did everything perspire?"
I told her about the cutting recently and counselor visit. My eyes glanced around the room awkwardly and disappointed. After we talked about my consequences she said that she hadn't given my parents those suggestions. I just sat there nodding. We then talked a little about my eating and she took my weight.
"Now it's time for you to go out and get your parents."
"Kay, I'll have them come right back."
"Email Me!"
"I will."
I went out and got my parents. They wearily walked back. I was nervous.
***after the appointment***
"What did you guys talk about?" my mom asked.
"Cutting and normal stuff like that."
*there was an awkward pause*
"She told us that this is the most depressed you've ever been."
"I disagree."
"Why?"
"I have felt a lot worse than that."
***Later***
My dad asked me about the time there and tried to talk to me about it. Whatever.
"Time to do your bikini check."
"DAMMIT!!! I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FATASS WHEN WE DO THIS," I thought.
We walk into my room and i remove my shirt to reveal the carnage from the week before. There were scars although it had been a week already. I removed my pants as that is what i am always supposed to do. There were no cuts on the outside but on the inside there were huge wounds. When I looked at my legs and stomach I see nothing but FAT!!!!
"Okay!" Mom says.
"Yeah and you just think its so fucking easy not to cut but you don't know the damn addiction that comes with self harm!" I scream at her inside my head.
"You know what Brandis thought of you cutting yourself?" Mom asked.
"No"
"Well, she said that you cutting yourself is stupid, or some type of a word like that."
I sit there with my mouth wide not even knowing what to do. This bitch that I TRUSTED called me stupid? Fuck that! I'm not going to tell her anything anymore! Cutting is my secret and I intend to keep it that way. Along with eating. I will make myself puke if I have to- I AM definitely going to lose weight.
YOU ARE READING
The Girl Who Broke
Não FicçãoAbigale who is 13 years old finds herself getting bullied. She was always called fat, ugly, and etc. One day she believed it. She will never be the same after she finds herself just barely dodging death.
