The Girl Who Broke

Chapter 21: Kill Me Now (The Loss Of A Best Friend)

To continue on in Abigale's life, we could say that everything was manageably smooth until a major problem struck.

CHAPTER 21

I wish I could say that I am alright but I'm really not and I'm not supposed to lie.

I used to know a girl named Kattrina on the Internet. I told her everything because I knew she would be right there to help me. She was 16 when I first met her and I knew her until she was 18. Two full years, I had someone to help me. But it was all a big ass lie.

I was so desperate for support in the beginning of my eating disorder and cutting that I reached out to strangers on the internet. I needed so much help that it wouldn't help as much as I had wanted it to so I met more and more people always going back to the same few. I met some really nice people and I knew that what i was doing was wrong. Trusting people I don't know. And just trusting anyone at all. Through these conversations i ultimately realized that i am not alone.

The one that I always went back to was Kattrina. I told her everything. We had our laughs and sobs. She had cut and starved herself too! We talked 24/7 nonstop, even at school. That was until I realized she was my neighbor.

I was in disbelief with myself in the beginning. I thought she would never do such a thing to me but clearly I was wrong. I messaged her one day and hoped my assumption was incorrect but it was not. It had been Chase the whole time. Supposedly only 5 people knew about it (Stevi, Shayla, Wyatt, Kamae and herself) which all happened to be people I knew pretty well. Really, a lot more people knew (Catelyne, Caitlin, Avery, and more).

When I was in the realization the I was right, I bawled. I ran around my room smashing things. The first thing I did was tell my boyfriend that I was indeed right. Then I cried. Not until the second day could I actually talk to my boyfriend about it and I still cried in front on him. I cried for weeks on end. I was drifting apart from everyone again.

Next thing I knew, I was stating death threats. But there was a twist, I was the killer and the victim was my body and there was no doubt that I would do it.