Getting Older- Jiara

I Give Up

Kiara pov

"Stay, he asked me to stay" is the only thing that's on my mind right now. JJ asked me to stay, I still can't believe it. After everything we've been through I was sure that whatever me and JJ had in the past would be gone right now, but no he's here holding my hand looking in my eyes and asking me to stay.

At first I couldn't believe it, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me and that I was just imagining this. But when he kept staring into my eyes- no staring at my soul I knew that I wasn't imagining things and that he really said it.

I didn't know whether I could trust him right now like what if he was just playing game? What if this was some revenge plan?. What if he was only trying to give me some form of hope just to snatch away from me just like I did him.

I was too shocked and overwhelmed to even reply to him, so instead I just looked into his eyes searching for any signs that maybe just maybe he was either joking or just playing games with me. As I looked into his eyes long and hard, I didn't find anything  that showed that his intentions was ill. He was really serious, he was actually asking for me to stay.

So instead of giving him a reply I grabbed the oh so warm hand that was intertwined with mines to communicate that yes, yes I would stay. I would stay right here , oh so right here stuck in this moment giving into him, commenting with him that yes I'm here and I'm staying.

After I give JJ the okay, he pulled my still in shock body with him towards the side of the château where the hammock still lies even after all these years. Everything was exactly just how it was left 5 years ago, which doesn't surprise me but yet still manages to catch me off guard.

"Do you want to talk about it" JJ says pulling me out of my thoughts. I knew that he was just being nice to me because even though I've done him wrong, he still hates to see me get hurt. So I looked right up at him and just shook my head.

No, no I don't want to talk about it. My best friend - well ex best friend just told me life was better without me, how could I ever want to talk about that.

It was quiet for a while, with JJ not saying anything to me and with me not wanting to break this beautiful moment between us with whatever stupid thought I had in my head, so I  just settled for nothing. I just really don't want this moment to ever end, I just want to lay in the hammock sitting under the beautiful sky with JJ beautiful eyes on me.

I just want to go back the way things were but I know that we are too far gone to even think about going back that. So I reluctantly open my mouth said the only thing I could say in this situation right now.

"Thank you" I whispered out shakily. " I know you didn't have to do this and I know that I'm the last person you would want to see right now but I just want to thank you". I nervously say.

JJ didn't say anything at first, he just stared at me and then he finally spoke. "I didn't do this for you" jj says calmly.

Somewhere deep inside of me knew that he didn't so this for me but I couldn't help but feel a little heartbroken, I thought that for a moment that we was moving forward but I guess not. "I did it because I knew that although Sarah is very pissed at you, I didn't want her to do something she would later on regret."

But I knew there was something more to it " jay" I say calmly trying to reason with him but JJ wasn't having any of it "No" JJ says angrily. " Don't even try it kie" he say while getting up. " you just show up here out of the blew and just expect everything to go back to the way it was" he adds on.

I knew it wasn't fair of me but I couldn't help it. I've missed them for so long and I just thought that if they see me try then it would smooth things over a bit. But it didn't, it did the opposite and I knew once again that I've fucked things up again.

"You should leave" he says as he while turning his back on me walking back to the front of the house. But I wasn't going to give up. " jay please come on" I say as I walk up right behind him. " can we at least talk about this please" I say as I try to plead with him but it seems as if nothing I said mattered to him because I was once again slammed down and turned away.

"I wasn't asking kie" JJ says one final time as he looks me into my eyes before he leaves me standing by myself watching him walk always into the canteau. God I just felt like screaming, one moment everything was fine and In the next I'm back to square one.

Nothing I say seem to matter to anyone anymore, which is just so frustrating because I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to fix things. But I can't, I can't fix it. They won't even give the chance to, which is even more madding. But I do as I'm told, I get into my car start it up and back out the driveway that once used to be my home.

I Give Up.

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- Chile I'm lazy but here is the new chapter 🤍