Overly excited. That's how you felt when you received a text from your boyfriend Jeongin. He said he would come to your house today.
It's been a month since you last met him in person. Due to his busy schedule he couldn’t meet up with you. You were supposed to spend Christmas together but he cancelled at the last moment.
He said he'd visit you on new year and spend the first day of the year with you but he broke that promise too.
You'd be lying if you say you were not disappointed but still you convinced yourself saying he's busy.
So today was the day. The day you are finally gonna see him again.
You cleaned your room's mess and changed your clothes to something fresh.
The doorbell rang indicating that Jeongin is here. You went to open the door. You greeted him with a smile. He gave a weak smile.
His cheeks were slightly pink. You leaned closer and smelled the alcoholic smell.
"Did you drink?" you asked him. He nodded. "Just a little bit. Not too much. I'm sober" he said and came inside. You closed the door.
He made his way to the couch. "Why did you drink? " you asked him. He doesn’t drink usually. It's a rare case that he drinks.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Just wanted maybe"
You nodded. "Did you eat?" He asked. You shook your head. "Shall we order something?"
"No, I cooked. Let's eat first"
This is the first time Jeongin didn't talk at all while eating. You never saw him being this quiet. That made you nervous for real.
You thought maybe because of drinking he didn't wanna say something that he might regret or maybe not.
" Lemme help you with the dishes," he said but you assured him you were okay. You finished washing the dishes when Jeongin called you.
"Yes?"
"Sit here" he said, somehow he looked so serious. Everything about him was making you oddly nervous today.
You went to the couch and sat next to him. "I think we should talk," he said. "What kind of? You are scaring me" you said honestly.
"I don't know how to start," he said.
"Why are you being so serious? It's nothing bad, right? " you asked.
"I don't know actually." You didn't say anything neither did he. You both were silent. You were waiting for him to continue. But you couldn’t guess what was going inside his head.
He heaved a sigh. "y/n?" He called your name. Now it's obvious that the matter is serious. He doesn’t call you by your name. You guys have tons of pet names to call.
But he didn't use one.You hummed.
"I have something to tell you"
"I'm listening," you said and looked at him to make eye contact. But he looked down
"I think….um you know" he said.
"I don't know. If you don't tell me I will never know" you said.
"I think we should break up," he said without looking at you. You felt your heart tighten. You don’t remember doing anything that would make him say something like that.
You didn’t want to sound broken,you tried to put a calm face. Your ego will never let you tell him to not break up. But the. Again you wanted to be with him so badly.
"Can I know the reason?" you asked. He looked at you,maybe he thought you wouldn’t ask him that.
"Do you like someone else?" you asked. "No" he replied immediately.
"Then?"
"It's just…."
"What? Didn't think of a reason? At least give me a reason, " you said.
"I'm sorry" he apologised but you were not sure exactly why he did apologise.
"For what?"
"For falling out of love. I thought maybe it was because of the distance between us at first. But it started getting worse day by day. I thought about it a lot. I don't want to hurt you but I end up hurting you. But before it becomes more serious we should stop. It's better for both of us, " he said.
You pressed your upper lip with your bottom lip and tried not to let your tears run out of your eyes.
"You are right" you said but your voice betrayed you and cracked.
"We weren’t for each other" you said. Your vision started getting blurry. You knew you couldn’t hold your tears anymore.
Just in a matter of seconds your tears came out. You wiped your tears.
Jeongin came closer to hug you but you moved. "It's getting late. I think you should go now" you said
He nodded. Before leaving he was about to say something but you didn't let him. "I'm okay, don't worry" you said and gave a weak smile, closing the door.
You sat down on the floor. You brought your knees closer to your chest.
All the memories started coming inside your mind which made you more sad. You got up from your position and went to your bedroom.
It already happened and now you can't change it. You have to move on. Life goes on just like this.
