Butterflies (l.s)

🦋9🦋

Why the actual fuck do you never stop encouraging this?

Well hello to you too, big Lou.
I mean Louis.
So sorry, the lingo got switched up a moment.

Eww.

Not eww. It's normal. There is nothing wrong with what's happening to you, Louis. There's so many other people who also go into littlespace. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Right. Coming from someone who's actually normal and doesn't know how humiliating it is to read back texts where I'm fucking soft and babying
Oh wait, you aren't normal. I forgot.

Lou was right, you can be quite mean sometimes.

Louis found himself wanting to reply with an apology and facepalmed. He hated that this guy had gotten under his skin. He'd worked so hard to avoid all that until all this began happening.

I'm as mean as I have to be. Gotta stop this from happening somehow, eh?

No you don't :)

I do.

You don't :)

I do.

You don't :)

We've done this before.

And I win again ;)

Asshole.

Hey, this might be a weird thing to ask but after we chatted yesterday, I just want to make sure you're treating yourself right?

Tf??

Stop being mean to yourself. Especially your little self. He just wants to help, is all. See him as an actual child. You wouldn't be mean to a child

You don't know me that well, Harold. Maybe I kick babies

I have a feeling you don't.

Seems you like him more than me, eh?

Do you want me to like you more?

Fuck you, I don't care about your opinion of me.

I disagree. What was it little you said? Lemme scroll up and take another look. Ah, yes, there it is.
"he thinks you're really sweet for taking care of me"
This you, Lou?

Ugh you're so annoying.

Fair enough but you want to be taken care of, all the same. I just wish you'd understand there is nothing to be ashamed of

I don't want to be taken care of, he does.

Lou and you are the same person remember?

I'd rather forget. Honestly, this is totally awful of me to think but a part of me would rather find out he were a separate person than entertain the thought that this is just a weird side of mine.

That's too bad :(
There really is nothing wrong with this. Everyone likes to be taken care of and babied a bit.

This is a little excessive, don't you think?
Of course you don't.
Cos you care too much about a fucking stranger.
I've been an ass to you anyway, why do you reply to me?

Cos I care. I can't explain to you cos you won't listen. I just care. I just do. You're hurting and I'd like to be there.

Maybe you're just a crazy person

Maybe I am but you haven't blocked me yet
I think that's proof you want this, too

Harry knew saying that was a risk but he boldly pressed send, not fully sure of the meaning of his words. Taking care of little Lou was a breeze but when he was at his usual age, Louis was difficult, cold, closed-off. He couldn't help but wonder how much of himself he'd suppressed, biting his lip. In that moment, he realised he really did want to be there for him. He only hoped Louis wouldn't block him right then and maybe eventually, he'd start to appreciate his company.

Whatever.

Louis was panicking. Straight up panicking because Harry was right. The fact that he hadn't stopped reaching out to this man meant he didn't want to stop. It meant this inner child littlespace nonsense was something that he wanted to continue, deep down. He felt ashamed. He felt terrified. He wanted to hide his entire self away from the world but he'd failed so soon. Why was he always failing? Perhaps Harry sensed his mood because he was kind enough to change the topic.

I heard you lost your job. What was it?

Just a cashier job at some shitty store, nothing much. I hated it. My boss especially, Simon Cowell? Made life even more hell for me than it already is.

Ah. I see.

His protective side was ready to jump right through the screen and hug Louis while simultaneously kicking this dickhead of a boss in the face. If only teleportation were possible. If only he could imagine a reality where Louis didn't punch him in the face the moment he got too close, like the fiesty little firecracker he is.

Well then I'm glad you've lost it.

I'm jobless, now. Unemployed.

*liberated
*free

😂

Harry wondered what his laugh actually sounded like. He could bet it was lovely.

Ah, so you can laugh!

Can't be an asshole all the time. Gotta keep people guessing ;)

Lol alright, then. You should celebrate, though with your friends! You can throw a huge no-longer-suffering party with em :)

Sounds fun in theory
Unfortunately I've only got one of those and I've been avoiding seeing him face to face

I see.
Poor baby :(
Would you like me to come over so we can have fun and... sleepover?

Do not make fun of me, asswipe 😤

Just teasing. We can toast here. To being free from a shit job and a shit boss 🥂

Hear hear 🥂
Thank you.
You're not so bad.
Sorry about... Everything

Everything?

Yup. The littlespace stuff, the rudeness... Seems every part of me is a problem lol

I completely disagree.

Guess we can agree to disagree, then

Nuh-uh, I'm not ready to give up

You'd just end up winning and I'd rather not hear all of the gloating that would follow

I'm a humble man but also, damn straight I'd win 😜

Louis smiled softly, letting out a sigh as it quickly faded once he'd looked up. His apartment was a mess. It had been for a while. Last time Liam tried to see him he'd taken a glimpse and Louis was still embarrassed about it, he just... Couldn't bring himself to do anything about it so dirty it stayed. He felt a random burst of energy now, though and got on his feet. He didn't have a job to take up his time anymore so perhaps cleaning would get his mind off things even for a little while, like Harry had. He could only hope.

Random personal a/n cos I fucking feel like it; I actually kinda thought I had DID at some point. Maybe a year or two ago. Back then, it made more sense to me than accepting certain sides of me, one of which was my childish side heh. I always end up relating to Louis a bit in my books. It's never rlly on purpose but it ends up happening anyway lol. Also fun fact before this a/n the book was at 1069 words and I bloody ruined it cos I felt like it ig. Yay reached 1169 byeee~