Royal Bonds | Y.Jw

| 2.12 |

After the long hours of greeting the Chinese royal family, along with Jungwon's sister, we had been escorted to our room.

The greeting with the royal family had consisted off a long ceremony in which we were to due various Chinese rituals for luck and purity, apparently since it was our first visit to the palace. It had dragged on for hours, and eventually I had felt my legs go numb from kneeling down on the floor for so long. However, I'd like to believe I played it off pretty well when I had to stand up and my legs weren't cooperating.

At one end of the bedroom we had been provided with, was a whole wall covered by what looked to be a sliding door that hid the bed behind it. It wasn't exactly a wide bed, surely not one to fit two people, but it was a bit wider than a singular bed.

"I'll go ask for a sleeping mat," I offered as Jungwon wandered over and opened up the bright red window shutters. Apparently the usage of actual windows was not a common sight on this palace.

"Why?" Jungwon immediately questioned and turned to me in confusion, making me gesture to the bed.

"It's not exactlly wide," I reminded him, "at most you can fit two kids in it."

"No, we can make it work," Jungwon shook his head and looked towards the bed as his arms crossed over his chest, "we barely use the whole bed at home. I think we can shimmy together a bit more."

"I'd rather sleep on a mat on the floor," I excused and he frowned at me.

"Don't tell me this is what we talked about on the train," he sighed deeply, and I simply shrugged.

"It's not really like you tried to see it from my point of view or even as much as validated my feelings," I reminded him with a deep sigh.

"Alright, I get where you're coming from with our relationship being mainly for duties, but you knew what you married into," he reminded me and I immediately shook my head, "you knew."

"What I knew was what you told me," I defended, "the last night we saw each other before the wedding I asked you what I was getting myself into and you immediately answered with 'my pure love' I was not aware that most of that pure love only would be on display for the public."

"I show you I love you in private as well. Don't I hold you every night?" he questioned and I immediately nodded, "so it's not only for the public."

"It's one thing," I reminded him.

"Ji, I've done everything I possibly can!" he loudly exclaimed, "I took care of you when you were sick, I fed you, I made sure you were warm and got anything you needed! The moment I'm off work I rush to you immediately to spend all my time with you. I do all I can to make you feel loved both in the public eye and just for the two of us to see. I love you and you know that."

I went quiet as I saw how Jungwon was looking at me. As hopeless as I felt, so did he. He was obviously confused as to how and when all of this had happened, probably also worried.

"I'm sorry," I whispered quietly, quickly adverting my eyes to the ground, "I don't... yeah... I don't know."

"Thank you," Jungwon sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "god you're confusing me."

"I know," I hummed with a small nod, lifting my head to let my eyes wander around the room.

"I know you've just been sick and such... but I really do think you need a vacation or some time off," he whispered, "outside of the castle."

"We're almost at war," I shook my head at him.

"They need me, not you," he clarified, "you can go on vacation by yourself and I'll stay back and ensure everything is alright."

"I can't just leave you," I shook my head in denial.

Jungwon pursed his lips in dismay before he let out a small huff. Without saying a word he marched over and grabbed onto my wrist, pulling me over to sit on the bed.

"You listen to me right now, not because I'm the king or whatever, but because I'm your husband and I only want what's best for you," he remarked sternly, making me quietly nod, "I think you need a break, and that's completely fine. If you need to go on a small vacation that's fine. It's not any different than when I leave you to go for some work meeting and you stay back at the castle. Nothing's gonna happen while you're gone, okay?"

"But Jungwon-" I started and he immediately cut me off.

"You need a break," he reminded, to which I slowly nodded, "and I need for you to take a break. Because the Lim Jiyeon I'm seeing now is not my Lim Jiyeon, and I miss her."

"I'm sorry," I whispered once more as a small smile spread on Jungwon's face.

"No you aren't," he shook your head, "you're sad and you're exhausted, and I need my happy and energetic Ji, who is very, incredibly blunt with me and won't hesitate to point out my faults. What I'm seeing right now is a Ji that's walking on glass. I don't want that, and you don't want to be that."

I quietly hummed with a small nod as Jungwon reached an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side.

"So now I suggest we go to bed early, and I'm all yours for you to hug onto, use as a pillow, mattress, teddy, whatever you need," he assured as I leaned my head down onto his shoulder, "so what do you need?"

"Comfort," I whispered and he hummed with a small nod, "a nice warm hug?"

"You can always get that," he assured and wrapped his arms securely around me.

He pulled me down to lay on top of him as he ensured his embrace was soft, warm, and secure all at the same time. A loud sigh of content immediately escaped me.

He had held me for most nights we slept, but right now just felt better and more different than the other times, as if he really meant it tonight.