Drowned but Not Out

Chapter 19

TW self harm, suicidal

This is driving me crazy. I need to move. Why did they have to restrain me?!

Meredith is restrained in her hospital bed, in the psychiatric ward with tears streaming down her face. She tried to wipe them away by rubbing her cheek against her shoulder but because her wrist is restrained she couldn't raise her shoulder enough to do it.

Just then Dr Wyatt walks in and uses a tissue to wipe away the tears. Meredith meekly smiles at her.

"Meredith, we have to talk."

No, we do not.

"I know, being here is likely extremely difficult for you and I don't blame you for being angry, upset and.. actually, can you tell me how you're feeling?"

Humiliated, hurt, overwhelmed. The urge to move my arms and legs is so strong but YOU HAVE TIED THEM DOWN, which is causing me a kind of pain which is didn't realise existed!

When Meredith didn't reply, Dr Wyatt continued "It's okay if you don't want to talk right now, but eventually you will have to talk to me in order to be released. Whatever feeling you are feeling right now, whatever thoughts you are thinking, they are all completely okay and are all valid. I wouldn't judge you on anything you say or do. The sole purpose of my job is to help you get in a better place."

While Dr Wyatt was speaking, Meredith's tears started to flow once again. Due to her high emotional state, Meredith's arm jerked which caused the restraints to pull against the bed. Not going unnoticed by Dr Wyatt.

"We have to keep the restraints on, you was caught trying to hurt yourself. It's not a practice we particularly like to use -"

"Arm!"

"What's that, Meredith, is your arm hurting?"

No, you dumb idiot! I need to move it, please!

"I-I need t-to m-move it. Please! Chickens, cows, sheeps!" Meredith begs.

Meredith looks away, facing the window when the random words come out. Hating that she felt that she had no control over these urges, both vocal and body tics.

"Your tourette's, of course. We can trial you on some medications which may help the tics. I'd have to speak to your team though."

Meredith's head whipped around to face Dr Wyatt again.

Medication? To stop my tics? Why hasn't this been mentioned before? Wait, what is she doing?

"I'm going to take your restraints off but open your blinds so the nurses can see you at all times. I don't think it's fair to force you suppress your tics."

Interesting..

Once they was off, Meredith flexed all her limbs and nodded at Dr Wyatt to say thank you.

Immediately, her arms began jerking once again. Stretching out in front of her and bending in.

"Chickens live on a farm, and a supermarket."

The fuck..

"M-meow, me me meowwww." Meredith began to howl like a wolf.

After a few minutes, and when Meredith's tics calmed down, Dr Wyatt left the room and Meredith turned to sit cross legged, on her bed, facing the window watching the hospital carpark. The nurses outside her room could only see her back.

She brought her hands into her lap, and began to scratch them viciously until they were raw. When she stopped, she began doing the same to her neck.

Later that day, Derek went to visit Meredith but noticed immediately of her new injuries and called Dr Wyatt to the room.

"I thought you were in restraints." Derek questions.

"I was but -"

"I decided to take them off, her body tics require movement that restraints doesn't provide." Dr Wyatt interrupts as she walks in.

"Meredith, how did you get such sore hands, and your neck looks quite painful too." Dr Wyatt said once she notices.

Here goes nothing..

"I didn't k-know I was do-doing it. The t-tics, they g-got bad earlier." Meredith said, quietly. She brought her knees up to her chest and tried to hide herself.

Please believe it.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." Meredith suddenly shouted. When realised what she said, she tried to reassure Derek and Dr Wyatt that she wasn't lying.

Seriously? Since when does tics act like a freaking truth serum?!

Both Derek and Dr Wyatt looked at her suspiciously.

Crap, they don't believe me.

We hope you enjoyed! Thanks to my co-writer natkat28