Disarray [H.S.]

Chapter Fifteen

And it's alright
Calling out for somebody to hold tonight
when you're lost, I'll find a way , and I'll be your light
You will never feel like you're alone
I'll make this feel like home

_______

No Perspective.

Harry and Macey walked through the streets of Portland arm in arm, taking their time returning to Macey's home while electricity coursed through their veins at the delicate touch.

The feeling that both Macey and Harry were experiencing was one neither had felt before.

There was a connection that couldn't be explained by anything on this earth.

It was instant and it was inevitable. They fell into place together like it was intended by fate. Like the universe had specifically crafted this relationship in its hands, placing Harry and Macey together because it was meant to be.

For someone like Macey, new relationships and new feelings can be scary. Navigating them can be confusing, but over time it may become more clear to see.

Harry knew exactly what he was feeling. He knew it since the night they met.

He knew what she was planning on doing that night. It was obvious. At first, he thought he was just being a good samaritan. He saw a stranger in crisis and was going to help her, do whatever he could so she could continue the life she was meant to live.

He just thought he was in the right place at the right time, thankful he was able to stop a person before they could do something that is impossible to undo.

But the second his eyes locked with hers, he knew she was going to be so much more than just a stranger he saved. He couldn't explain it, but he just felt an immediate connection, a magnetic pull he was unable to fight off even if he wanted to. Almost as if someone was whispering in his ear, 'Keep talking to her. Keep her around. Don't let her go.'

And so that's exactly what he did.

He brought her to that coffee shop down the road and tried his very best to distract her from the thoughts that carried her feet to the bridge. He figured it was best to act oblivious, to act like he didn't know what was going on so she didn't have to dwell on it.

He walked her home that night as well because he was terrified she was going to finish what she started. He knew once she was in her house, there was nothing stopping her from leaving again, but he had just hoped and hoped that she would simply rest her pretty head filled with evident sadness and just go to sleep.

He was so grateful that she did.

It was obvious to Harry that Macey had some serious demons, that she needed someone to be there for her and help her fight them. To encourage her and support her while she fought her battle.

He wanted so badly to be that person for her. He would do anything he could to be that person. That person she needed, that she counted on, that she leaned on.

He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her siting in the back of his physics class. He cursed himself for not noticing her sooner. He wasted so much time on people who weren't her. In Harry's eyes, no one could ever compare to her.

Not a day went by that Harry didn't think about her. He thought she was the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on with a voice as sweet as honey.

He was infatuated.

He wanted to know everything there was to know about her. What made her happy, what made her sad, excited, nervous? What her favorite thing to do was, what's her dream job, where she wants to travel to and everything in between. He wanted all the details he could get. He's consumed by her.

And although he's already learned so much, he knows there's still so much more and he couldn't be more excited to learn it all.

Harry knew it would take a while for Macey to fully open up to him, but he also knew she was worth as long as it took. Harry would wait twenty lifetimes if it meant he got only a second of her vulnerability.

He would cherish whatever she gave to him, even if all she gave was her first name.

He wasn't going to push her, he was going to let her say what she wanted, when she was ready. He wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible. He wanted himself
to be her safe haven.

God knows that's how she made him feel without even trying.

He was well aware that she has an uncomfortably hard past, with her parents both dying, living in a foster home, and he has a strong feeling there's something else that has happened more recently that pushed her to the edge.

Her past was her past, and he couldn't change it, but he wanted to be her future.

He wanted to be her happiness, he wanted to be her comfort, he wanted, quite simply, to be hers.

Harry had wanted to spend every spare moment he had with her, getting to know everything there was to know.

The time they spent together was time that Harry cherished. He wishes he could spend every day with her.

No time spent with Macey would ever be enough for Harry. He knows he'll never grow tired of seeing her, of being with her, of hearing her talk and tell stories. He just can't ever get enough.

She was so charming and funny and witty, and she didn't even know it.

Each time he saw her, butterflies swarmed his stomach, creating a whirlwind that he could never get rid of. His cheeks would ache from the time spent smiling so widely. And sometimes his palms even got a bit sweaty from the nerves he felt when he would open up to her, tell her things about himself, read his poems to her.

She had no idea that he already had so many pages in his journals filled with words describing the way he makes her feel. About what he sees when he sees her. About the future he sees with her. But she'll know soon enough.

Life was changing so much for Harry, but in the best way possible. All of his views and all of his thoughts were morphing into her.

Harry didn't really like smoothies all that much, but for her, they were his favorite thing to drink. Harry didn't care for the color purple, but when he heard that Macey's favorite color was lilac, he began to look at it with a brand new set of eyes. He saw lilac everywhere, he saw her everywhere. Harry didn't like roller coasters, but the excitement he saw in her eyes as she talked about her childhood spent in amusement parks was making him already plan which amusement park he would take her to.

He began to hear music differently, too. Every song became devoted to her. He heard her everywhere, in everything. He heard her in the music, felt her in the lyrics. He had never viewed music this vividly before. But that's just what she does to him.

Harry liked her. He really, truly liked her. He like everything about her. And he knew that someday, someday probably soon, he would love her.

He's already halfway there.