Disarray [H.S.]

Chapter Thirty

I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now
I'm heading straight for you
You will only be eternally
The one that I belong to
The sweetest devotion
Hitting me like an explosion
All of my life I've been frozen
You're the sweetest devotion I know

____________

"You're supposed to be helping me set up for the party, what are you doing?"

Katelin sits on the edge of my bed and shakes my leg to wake me. Instead of facing her like a normal person, I roll over and bury my head further into the pillow trying my best to ignore the world. Including her.

"Macey, get up."

I manage a grunt as a response, the best I can do with my face squished into this fabric. But that wasn't good enough for Katelin. She snatched the pillow out from under my face and hit me on the head with it.

"Get. Up. Macey." She says in between hits.

My only defense now is my blanket, which is hard to lift over my head when she's sitting on it, but I try anyways.

"I'm not going anymore. Leave me alone."

"Bullshit. Yes you are."

More pillow whacks.

"No, I'm not." I'm still losing my fight with the comforter but I'm not giving up.

Eventually, she stops hitting me with the pillow and tosses it aside. "Listen, I don't know what happened between you and Harry. It's not my business and you don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. If you do want to, I'm here to listen to every word. Whatever you need, I'm here. Now, what I need is for you to get your ass out of this bed, go brush your teeth, and get in my car. You can get dressed and ready at my house later but we need to leave now if we want this party to be ready on time."

"No, I don't wanna get up I-" I barely finish my sentence before she's literally pulling me off the bed by my legs until my feet hit the floor and she's pulling me to a stand.

I stare at her, and she smiles at me.

"Go, I'll make your bed while you go brush your teeth."

"Fine," I sigh, not wanting to be awake right now, but also not having the energy to fight her anymore.

Apparently, Katelin's parents and her typically go away on vacation for the week of the Fourth of July, but for the past few years, they've allowed her to stay home by herself and have some friends over.

Of course, she's never actually had just a few friends over. She has a huge party that I've actually been to once before, but didn't stay for more than thirty minutes. I didn't even go inside her house, I didn't know who she was, or who most of the people there were, I just sat on the curb out front because as soon as we got there, Ryan disappeared with his friends. But he ended up getting sick pretty quickly and so I had to take him home which he was pissed about but oh well.

I didn't tell Katelin or the others that, though. It was in the past and I think it would just be weird if I told them that I had actually been before.

Standing in the bathroom, it's hard to look at myself in the mirror, so I don't. Looking at myself bursts open the gates I've tried to seal shut, and the guilt floods its way into me. I turn around and lean against the sink while I brush my teeth.

I feel like such shit. I spent all day yesterday in bed, not getting up once. Dani tried to get me up, but I wouldn't look at her. Louis tried talking to me, but I stayed quiet.