DEAR DIARY : Born is not an option

Poor

Hello. I'm Chloe Chen from Singapore. Today, I'm gonna be sharing about my life living as a daughter of a poor family before I finally escaped from it.

Everyday was the same. I went to school, back from school and helped my parents with their small hokkien noodle stall in front of my school. Studying in the morning, working in the evening and doing homework at night was the routine of my boring life. I had no experience of joining the school trip or even outing with my friends. I couldn't even attend the school whenever everyone's having farewell ceremony and teacher's day because I don't have any money to  buy gifts. " I DON'T LIKE LIVING LIKE THIS! WHY DON'T WE HAVE ANY MONEY? THE CUSTOMERS COME LIKE BEES AND ANTS EVERYDAY BUT WHY WE STILL HAVE NO MONEY?!", I once thrown my anger towards my parents. That's when the first time I saw tears flowing on my mother's cheek. "We're very sorry. We couldn't give you a comfortable life like other kids. I'm so sorry for my fault.", my mother cries. I felt very guilty and just ran to my room while crying on my pillows. Although everything turns normal the next day but I still felt very guilty though my parents were still laughing and smiling as usual as if nothing had happened last night.
After 5 years, I finally finished my highschool and  in my forth degree semester pursued  my study at a university in Malaysia gambling my knowledge in the medical field. I worked part time as a content writer although my parents never allowed me to do so. With my pettite salary, I'm able to buy expensive clothes, outing with friends and saved a few dollars every week. With my sponsorship, my parents didn't need to spend that much money. I studied really hard for the sponsorship. Slept at 1 am and woke  up at 3 am to study was the sacrifices that I never wanted to do again.
3 years after, on 17th May 2018, my parents both passed away in a plane crash where they were on their way to attend my graduation. My heart broke into pieces and cried my lungs out after getting the news right before my graduated. I took photos of me with my graduation dress and put inside their ashes box. I didn't even know if that ashes were them but I had to believe so I know that I had them with me. They left me with a house, a car and thousands of dollars that they saved to make my life better in the future. I understood why we never had money although we had hundreds of customers daily. It's because of me. FOR ME! What could I do with the money? Pay the world best doctor to bring them back to life? Find the world best shaman to bring back their soul? NOTHING! I'm so sorry for what I said that night mom. I'm sorry dad. I love you mama, I love you papa.

Now, I'm working as a doctor in a private hospital in Malaysia. I have my family. A husband and 2 sons. I'll make sure they live comfortably so they'll not thrown their anger and faced my regrets. I'll do my best for my family.  That's the ending of my episode.  Thank you for reading and a huge gratitude to MentalDecencies for inviting me to share my story in this episode.  Bye!