Bucky Barnes One Shots and Imagines

Battered and Bruised

A/N: Hey, we can't always be in perfect shape, right? 

Enjoy!

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To put it lightly, you were a little self-destructive. 

You throw yourself too much into recon missions you're sure will bring an end to your nightmares.

No matter how hard you try, though, you still find yourself lying awake at night beside your boyfriend, who suffers from nightmares of his own. 

You limp into your shared apartment in the Avengers Compound, once again forgoing medical, and his attention is immediately drawn to you, his blue eyes blowing wide. "Woah, what happened to you?"

You sniff indignantly. "Ever thought that I wouldn't want to talk about it, Barnes?"

He's noticeably shocked at your outburst, but quickly brushes it off. "Babydoll, I know it hurts on the inside and out, but...you can't push me away." He gets up and approaches you, but you back away, your bruised hands shaking. "Y/N, you'll have to talk to me sooner or later. Bottling it up...isn't healthy. I would know. The last thing I want for you is to hold it in until you explode, because that's exactly what happened to me."

You're silent, tears welling in your eyes. "I'm not like you," you snap almost silently.

Bucky gives you a look. "You're reaching, babydoll. You know I'm right." He holds out his hand, still standing several feet away from you. "C'mon, if you're not gonna go to medical, then let me clean you up, and then we can talk about it, okay?"

You frown and nod, going over and taking his hand, letting him lead you to the bathroom, where he has you sit down on the closed toilet before rifling through the medicine cabinet. 

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as he looks and you're stricken by what you see. 

There's a trail of blood down the side of your head, your suit is torn at your shoulder, your bottom lip is split, blood leaks out of your nose...and that's only what you're able to see, since your image stops just before your chest, and you know Bucky isn't going to let you stand up. 

He wets down a paper towel before wiping down your head. "Looks superficial." He wipes off a little more before smiling at you. "That's better. Does your head hurt at all? Are you dizzy?"

You bite your lip and shake your head, and he brushes his thumb across your cheek. "Y/N, you know I love you, right?" You nod and he sighs. "Believe me when I say I'm trying to help, okay?"

You sniffle again and he takes that opportunity to clear the blood from beneath your nose. "I remember when I first joined this group...I was just like you are now, throwing myself tenfold into missions that were inconsequential in hindsight. I got just as banged up as you are right now, and even worse because my endurance level is higher." He tosses the paper towel into the trash and grabs a needle and thread, which you don't remember him getting, and gets to work on your shoulder. "I thought I was helping myself heal, but I was only making it worse. The nightmares wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried." He shakes his head. "Sam ended up pulling me aside and gave me a talk similar to the one I'm giving you now." He makes you meet his eyes now. "Getting yourself hurt is only making things worse for you. I know it hurts, but you have to understand that you're only playing into their hands if you lose your mind every time Hydra resurfaces." Bucky gives you a sad smile. "And you're not only hurting yourself. You're also hurting those around you. I know it's a guilt trip, but I know exactly how to get into that pretty little head of yours."

You sigh and speak calmly for the first time tonight. "I just want to cause them the pain they caused me." You let out a shaky breath. "Give them a taste of their own medicine."

Bucky nods. "I know. That's what I told myself too. In reality, they couldn't care less about their casualties, so you're really not causing them any pain." He snips off the thread that holds the gash in your shoulder together. "You know just as well as I do that going after the normal agents isn't doing any good, but leave the higher-level stuff to the people who are qualified, please?"

You glare at him. "You don't think I'm qualified?"

He sighs. "You know what I mean. There's a reason I got benched from Hydra-related missions indefinitely. We both react emotionally, and that's no help to anybody."

You frown and nod. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I'm sorry about all this. I'll do better, I promise."

Bucky gives you another sad smile. "You'll heal in time, babydoll. If I can do it, anyone can."

You snort and he gives you the first real smile he's had all night. "I believe in you."

And with that, all the pain seems to wash away.