Pramheda the II (The 100)

𝐱𝐱𝐢𝐯: fight the darkness

[Madisons POV]:

"Please, Madison," Bellamy urges in regards to whether or not I was going to allow the worms to be sent into alive defectors, "you're a scientist, a genius, a human, please tell me you aren't genuinely considering this."

The defectors were traitors, but they were still my people. They were still humans. Would I allow them to board Diyoza's ship as the worms ravage their bodies to then explode in the middle of the valley with more worms leaving their bodies to ravage the bodies of the Eligius IV prisoners.

As I imagine it, my entire body shudders. And although, I've done and ordered horrible things in the past 6 years, this is not something I'm willing to do. I'm willing to fight the darkness and save myself because maybe there is hope, for me and for all of us. Maybe there's a higher power above looking out for us, I mean how else would you explain Bellamy coming to save us from the depths of the ground just as we had began the journey to starvation.

"No, no. This, this won't happen," I swallow looking at them and they start to feel relieved.

"I'll try my best to stop this, but I can't promise you that I'll succeed, after all this is just my first war, this is Octavia and your fourth one," I reply.

They nod at me, however their faces don't scream full happiness, and neither does mine, how was I supposed to prevent this from happening all on my own?

--

I leave the Hydro-farm deep in thought about what I'm supposed to do. Octavia has gone too far this time, and I'm not sure if I can stop it, as I pass by the server room to head upstairs to mine, I hear Monty recite something, almost like he's reading a letter.

"Now is the perfect time. 'Monty, I know you're an optimist. You think better days are ahead, but that's not true. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There's only the tunnel, another enemy to fight, another war. I've come to the conclusion that we're the problem human beings, all of us. The cycle can't be broken as long as we're here. That's why I won't be here. That's why--" he chokes up before he can continue reading, and then Harper is next to him in support.

"Monty...It's okay," she soothes him.

"Yeah. Jasper was smarter than all of us. It doesn't matter what we do. Coming back to the ground, opening the bunker, all we've done is made things worse. If a war is the only way to have the last survivable land on earth, then maybe we don't deserve it," he mutters upset.

'Jasper Jordan', I hear from the Flame, and close my eyes as I see different memories Lexa had of him.

I never got to meet him in the short time that I was awake before praimfaya hit and we shut the bunker doors but I knew a bit about him already though, from stories Octavia told me during the six years we were down here. Whenever I'd wake up screaming from a nightmare, she'd come next to me and tell me her stories and experiences ever since they landed on the ground to help calm me down.

People say Jasper took 'the cowards way out', but I don't see it that way. After holding the one person he loved in his arms, as she basically melted into burns and scars, he's justified for feeling the pain he felt.

It's almost like what I felt once I realized Becca was dead. It's just a sharp pain that eats away at your heart.

I do understand though that it must have been hard for Monty to see his brother go through all of this, and know there was nothing he could do to help, and that he was also partially to blame. Clarke and Bellamy may have pulled the trigger, but Monty loaded the gun on Mount Weather, even though he was being ordered by Wanheda.

Monty's saddened voice and demeanor pulls at whatever is remaining of my heart strings but they're asking me to betray Octavia. Even with all her faults, she was my family, just like their family was Spacekru. She was the one by my side for the last 6 years. That's 2,000 and something days, I can't just turn on her.