July 2015
"I don't think telling her about it is a good idea," Gianna said to Sebastian. They were sitting in Pia's hospital room, waiting for Pia to wake up.
It was two days from the day Sebastian found her in her room. Neither of them didn't really understand. Doctors advised them they shouldn't ask about it since it was their job, and they were almost sure they wouldn't be helping her by it.
Gia and Seb understood that they would get the answers eventually. They just didn't want to put pressure on her. Now, for them, the moment when Pia woke up was enough.
Pia couldn't stop her tears from streaming down her face. Her lower lip was trembling. She looked at them. They didn't look any better. Everyone was crying. Pia just opened her arms. Sebastian and Gia accepted this invitation for a hug. She pressed them towards her as much as she could while crying. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," she was whispering into their ears. All she wanted at that moment was to have them close.
"I know, but she will learn about it soon anyway. I'm not sure what will do more damage," the German opposed his girlfriend. He knew that telling her right now wasn't probably the best idea, but he was also afraid that Pia would be mad at them if they didn't tell her about it.
"You know how much she cared about him." Gianna placed her hand on Sebastian's thigh while looking at him with worry in her eyes. How could they tell Pia that Jules died? He meant so much to her.
The German just wrapped his arms around the older Italian, allowing her to hide her head in his chest. He kissed her gently on the top of her head while caressing her hair. They overcame so many obstacles together. This one was huge, but Sebastian was sure they could make it. He would do anything for his family.
"It's gonna be alright. We will fight it together, Gia," he said while he wiped tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. Then he planted a sweet innocent kiss on her lips.
"Eww," Pia said when she saw Seb planting another kiss on Gia's lips. They were so overly sweet, and she just had to comment on that. "Find a private place next time. Somewhere far away from me," the young Italian joked. She rarely admitted it, but she found them cute.
"Oh, look who is awake," Seb said while leaning toward her in order to mess up her hair. He tried to behave normally, but there were just so many things to discuss. There were so many things on his mind. They had to talk about Jules passing away. They had to talk about what would happen with Pia in the near future.
"We have to talk to you, P," Gianna dared to say. She didn't really know how to approach this situation. The only thing that was keeping her alive and in one piece was Sebastian. Right now, he was the only stable point in her life.
"They would like to release you tomorrow," the older Italian said, but Pia could sense that there was a but coming. "However, doctor Masetti would like to talk to you before that," she briefly informed her daughter.
"Alright, mum," Pia just plainly nodded.
"Just tell her the truth, darling, okay?" Gia asked her daughter while squeezing her hand as a sign of support before leaving Pia's room with Sebastian.
Pia was about to tell the truth anyway. She wanted that tiny voice out of her mind. She wanted to stop harming herself, and she was well aware that she couldn't make it alone. She needed the help.
---
"I have bad news for you," the young doctor said with a worried expression on her face once she was done talking to the young Italian. "I think letting Pia go back to her daily life would be high risk, especially when we take into account the fact her friend passed away yesterday. I believe she should have been sectioned and given treatment for her mental health problems." She briefed them quickly about the following steps in Pia's treatment.
Somewhere deep down, they knew that they wouldn't let her go home. It just freaked Gianna a bit. She didn't want her baby to be locked somewhere in a psych ward. She just put her hands on her face, covering it while taking a deep breath. She needed to keep it together.
"Gia, look at me, please," the German in front of her begged her. He tried to put her hands down, but she resisted. She needed a moment to take it in.
"They will help her. They want to make sure she won't hurt herself anymore, okay? They are not going to hurt her," Sebastian spoke gently to his girlfriend. Both Sabatini girls were so fragile at the moment.
"Twinkle, they want to keep you for a little longer," Sebastian carefully started because he thought Pia didn't know about it.
"I know. I asked her for help. I said that I want to undergo the treatment." There wasn't really anything else she could do. She didn't want to bother her parents that much. She didn't want them to look after her. She didn't want them to worry every minute because she might hurt herself. She had already caused more than enough damage. It was time to fulfil some of those promises she had given.
In situations like this, she thought of Joanna. Pia could hear her voice in her head. Cancel your pity party. She was just thinking about what the Austrian would say to her now. Joanna would probably tell her that Pia was selfish. She would ask her if she thought of Sebastian, Gia, and Charles when she decided to choose this cowardly way to escape her problems. Perhaps she would be right. Perhaps Pia was indeed selfish.
"I'm sorry. I was so selfish," the young Italian said while looking out of the window. She wasn't able to look into the faces of her parents. She disappointed them more than enough. She wanted the apology to be sincere, but she just couldn't face their devastated expressions.
"I know. We could have, we should have fought it together," she openly admitted.
"I don't want your apology, P. I want to know why," Gianna asked her. She saw Sebastian's disapproving face. They had been instructed not to ask about this, and Gia was now breaking the rules, but she just had to know.
"It was just too much, mum." One tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another. "I was lying to everyone. I know how it will end. I was giving everyone hope. I was saying he would be alright. I kept saying that my life... our lives would go back to normal," she exhaled sharply. She had to look up because her eyes were full of tears, and she couldn't see anything. "I was telling everyone the things I desperately needed to hear. The thought that it's just a question of time was killing me." A loud sob left her throat. Why couldn't she talk with her parents about it earlier? Why was it so hard? "There was a time... God, I don't even want to say it," she dared to take the Lord's name in vain. Pia was so ashamed of what she was about to say. "There was a time when one part of me wanted Jules gone because I think everyone needs closure. But I didn't want to let him go. I wanted closure without letting him go, so I realised that the only way how I could give myself closure was to..." she couldn't complete the sentence. The thought that she should've lied crossed her mind. Maybe it would be better, but then she rejected her thought. If she wanted to make things better, she would need to be honest.
"You could've come, Pia. I would let you hide in my arms, and we would fight it together." The young Italian could hear that her mum's voice was trembling. Gianna didn't want to blame Pia. The fact that her daughter didn't come to her for help was a hard pill to swallow.
"I know, mum. I would have made different choices now," Pia let out. It was true. She would go to her mum or to Seb and ask them for help.
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