CAPTIVE [Bucky Barnes x OC] 18+

30 || The Voice Inside

"Doll?" his soft voice rang trough her ears, accompanied by his warm right hand on her arm, pulling her away from the film of a memory playing in front of her eyes. She felt his warmth wrap around her like a blanket of security.

"I'm sorry" M exclaimed. She found her voice shaky, cottony saliva making it hard for her to speak. "I'm..."

"You spaced out for quite some time. You're alright?"

Why does he always ask you so many questions? I know he means good but it's getting annoying.

M shook the voice from her head and turned to look at Bucky. His face held a worried look to it, his bright blue eyes fixed on hers. He tried to read her. Again.

Is he your fucking therapist? Didn't know he was Quinn after all.

Annoyance rose in her chest. Her fingers curled harder around the knife's handle in an attempt to keep them from shaking. She can feel it rising, but she doesn't want to let it out on him. It's not his fault. He didn't do anything wrong.

"I'm good."

"Are you sure? You seemed paraly..."

"God damn it, Buck! I'm good, okay? Isn't that enough?" M snapped. She stabbed the knife deeper into the wooden cutting board before she stepped away from him. Her fingers tingled and she curled them into a fist to keep her at bay. Emerald hammered against the inside of her head laughing like a maniac, making her nauseous. She pushed the food in front of her away. "Have it to yourself. I'm not hungry anymore."

Her feet dragged her out the kitchen on their own. Choosing flight as a defence mechanism to get away from a conversation she didn't want to have with the man that did nothing but care about her.

"You haven't eaten in days. Please" Bucky said. His voice was calm and laced with the same worry that was plastered on his beautifully carved face.

I'm gonna throw up.

M felt the entirety of her whole being pulling towards him, but she was too stubborn to give into it. She knew she hurt him. Maybe that's what she wanted. Hurt him enough to leave. Have him safe. She knew he wouldn't want to see what her mind so eagerly wanted to do to the man cuffed onto the chair in the basement. What she wanted to do.

Remorse swept away the tingling annoyance in her veins. He shouldn't have come with her. Not the first time. Not the second. The longer she thought about it the more she regretted she hadn't fought him more that day. He shouldn't be here. That wasn't him anymore. It never was. And as much as he told her he wanted hardly anything more than to finally see Rumlow bleeding dry, it just wasn't...

We both know it's in him. You've seen him murder. You've been there, Mariechen.

Marie left Bucky behind without saying another word as she descended down the stairs. It was her cross to carry not his and she didn't want to burden him with the same crippling mind as hers. He fought too hard. He's been through too much. He was right that day when he told Steve, Nat, and Tony it was a mistake to take her with them.

They should've never done it. Bucky didn't know Marie knew about it. No one knew she's heard their conversations and discussions behind the thick glass wall separating Bruce's laboratory from the cell.

Marie closed the heavy metal door behind her and locked it. She wanted answers from Rumlow. Needed them. She was desperate to know why he did what he'd done over the years.

Her head buzzed with the endless thoughts running trough it. As if that wasn't complicated enough on its own, she was harder to keep locked away. M felt the soaring headache approaching, pounding against her temples like a drill.