mad at myself (rhink)

can't fight this feeling

I arrive at Links house at 3. I told Jessie I'll be back before dinner. Link walks up to me in his driveway.

"Let's go to the backyard"

"Sure. Where are your folks?"

"Shopping"

"You didn't want to go with them?" I smile

"No I'd rather spend my day with you then at the mall" I could see a little bit of red on his cute cheeks. I mean what.

"What do you wanna do" Link asks

"Let's try and come up with some good ideas for GMM."

"That's a great idea. I'll get my laptop!"

A minute later we were lying in Links hammock in the backyard. We're really close now and I can feel the warmth of his skin. His shoulder touches mine just like our legs. The feeling of Links skin makes it hard to breathe, but I'm not sure why... "Let's think about some 'Will It' videos", Link says looking at his laptop screen "Okay. What about... Will it cookie!"

"That would be awesome! Will it ice cream?"

"That sounds nice. Maybe we should also do some nonfood 'Will It', like... Will it hard hat."

"Yeah and... will it chair?"

We wrote episodes until we heard a car in the driveway. Links family was home.

"I have to go" I say, "I want to be home for dinner."

"Okay man. See you later."

Driving away from Links house feels strange, I don't know why. My house is where I belong and his house is where he belongs. It's healthy to keep that distance.

While driving home I keep thinking about how his skin against my skin felt. No matter what I try to think of, it always comes down to Link.

It has always been this way. We have been best friends for a real long time, so that's not a strange thing. We chare a lot of memories.

"I'm home." My words echo in the hallway.

"Daddyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shepherd and Locke run towards me.

"Hi little buddies" I say as I pick them both up to carry them to the living room where Jessie is sitting in her favorite chair, reading a book.

"Hello sweetheart." she stands up to give me a kiss.

I smile and say: "Hello beautiful. How was your day?"

"Great we went to the park to play some soccer and we played with the nurf guns". "Sounds like a good day."

After dinner we put the kids in bed en cuddle in our own bed while watching a romantic movie. While Jessie makes circles with her hand on my side, I begin to fall asleep.

What if Link was here? Lying here on my chest, my hand in his hair, his scent in my nose, his hand making circles on my side... WHAT?!

I rested my cheek on Jessies head. I want her and no one else. I have to learn how to control my thoughts.

Age 15

"Link?" I can see blood coming out of his head. "LINK!" I cry out. No response. "Link please don't leave me I can't live without you".

I hug him until I hear a soft moan."R-rhett?"

"Yeah it's me, buddy. It's all going to be okay."

"Rhett, my... head hurts. Wha-what happened?"

"You fell out of that tree over there. You landed on a rock. I'm going to take you home"

"Th-thank you R-Rhett. You-you're my best...friend" Link tries to smile, but fails. The tears keep streaming down my face as I carry Link to his car.

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