mad at myself (rhink)

mad at myself

While eating breakfast Link and I both sit across of each other. I can't help but stare at his beautiful face. His still sleepy eyes, his unshaved chin. His messy hair.

"Do I have something on my face?" Link says, waking me up from my thoughts.

"No. Or yes actually", I say with a smile.

"What?" Link asks whipping his face with his T-shirt.

"This." I come closer to Link and kiss his cheek. I feel the stubbles on my lips and it feels amazing. It doesn't feel like any cheek-kiss I ever gave. It's electrifying.

Link cheeks turn redder then a fire truck, but he smiles. He lays his hand on my cheek and looks me in the eyes. "You also got something on your face." And he kisses me.

Link kissing me is the best that ever happened to me. EVER. His soft lips are so perfectly shaped for my lips, it's like we're meant to kiss each other. The electrifying feeling becomes stronger the longer we kiss. I close my eyes and I crab Links waist. I pull him closer to me.

Link grabs my face and licks my bottom lip. I open my mouth a little to let his tongue in. The most amazing feeling in the world.

I break the kiss. I just can't do this. I'm married! I can't cheat on Jessie, I love her! This is so wrong. Link's married too, but he doesn't seem to care.

"What's wrong? Did I do something? I'm so sorry if I did something wrong", Link says. I can see that he really is worried about me. He's also a little disappointed.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this. We're both married and we're best friends. This is just wrong and..." I can't even finish my sentence when I look at Links face. I can tears in his beautiful blue eyes.

Link crying is the saddest thing in the world. Even when we were little, I punched who ever made Link cry.

I am so mad at myself. For everything: for falling for him, for flirting, for liking it when he flirted, for giving him hope that we can be together, for kissing him now, for everything we have done in the past, for sharing all sorts of first times with him. Everything.

I just to be friends again, but now it's too late.

I miss Link.

It has been two weeks.

Link's everywhere I go: the mall we went to together whenever we needed something, my backyard where we hang out on sunny afternoons, my room where we wrote GMM episodes 'till 3 AM, my kitchen where we made so much food together over the years, my living room where we played videogames all night long, my bathroom where we had water fights.

I miss Link so much that I feel like I'm dying. No scratch that, I would rather die than live in this hell.

Jessie left after I told her how I feel about Link. She took the kids.

My boys. Lock and Shepherd are my little boys. I love them so much and I miss them. Just like Link. I miss him too. And Jessie.

I lost everyone because of that stupid crush on my best friend. I'm so mad at myself for giving in to what I wanted. Never again. I don't want to fall for someone ever again.

My mind takes me to dark places while lying awake at night in my bed. If every living thing dies alone, what am I doing here? What am I doing on Earth without Link? Our love was out of control. Tell me, where did it go?

I suddenly think about how Link must be feeling right now. Is he alone? Does he miss me? Does he even think about me? Does he hate me? Did he love me?

I feel sorry for Link if he loved me. I want to talk to him, I want to tell him that I'm sorry. I let you down and started to run. I never meant to be your pain. Oh my god, what have I become?

Age 15

We're in Links room, just talking.

I look at Links face. It's so beautiful.

"What?" Link asks

"You're so beautiful", I say softly

Link blushes

"I could sing you a song but I don't think words can express you beauty"

Link looks at me with a smile

"I know I sound crazy, don't you see what you do to me?"

"Every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss, I swear I can fly. Don't you see what you do to me? It's called love, Rhett"

"If this is love than love is easy. I like loveand I like you" I kiss Link softly but in a couple of minutes we're making outon his bed.�ѽZb��