SB19 Oneshot Collection

18. Heartbreak Anniversary : SB19 Justin

"Get dressed, Anna. Anniversary niyo ni Jah. Baka naman kasi may inihahanda lang 'yon na surprise para sa'yo kaya nagpapanggap na cold muna. Jusko ka naman."

Umiling lang ako habang nakatulala pa rin. I look lifeless, I look like a whole mess. Napapabayaan ko na yung sarili ko, nawawalan na rin ako ng pake sa paligid ko. This started when I felt it. When I felt something wrong on our relationship.

"W-Wag na, Belle. Iwan mo na 'ko, please. Gusto kong mapag-isa." sabi ko nang hindi tumitingin sa kaibigan ko.

"I won't leave you here like this, Anna. Ni hindi ka pa nga kumakain. Nasobrahan naman ata yung pagpapanggap ng boyfriend mo at hindi ka na pinapansin o tinitignan kung okay ka pa ba." she said, feeling irritated now.

"Hindi siya nagpapangap lang." sabi ko at tumingin sakaniya. Her facial expression screams confusion. "Justin being cold to me is real, matagal na, hindi mo lang napapansin dahil hindi naman niya pinapahalata sa iba... Belle," I paused for a while as a tear escaped my eye. "I'm losing him..." I confessed.

Belle's facial expression changed. Naaawa siya sa akin.

She went near me as she embrace me.

"Hindi maganda 'yang pinag-iiisip mo, you're overthinking too much. Mahal ka ng boyfriend mo." she said.

Umiling lang ulit ako.

I know she's just trying to cheer me up but it's no use. Ramdam ko naman na eh, matagal na. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung bakit pinatagal ko pa ng ganito na sa sobrang pag-iisip ko, sa sobrang pagka-lugmok ko, napapabayaan ko na pala yung sarili ko.

This is my first time to love. It's my first time loving someone. And now I know how loving can hurt a person so much. Ngayon ramdam ko na yung sakit at pagkamiserable ni Mommy noon nang malaman niyang nagloloko si Daddy at nung maghiwalay sila. I can literally feel it. I can literally feel how hurt she was before she, died... in so much depression, too much anxiousness.

Belle continued to comfort me pero tila walang epekto iyon sakin. I still keep crying silently.

The door suddenly opened and there I saw the reason why I am like this. My sad and lonely eyes landed on him. Our eyes met but he just avoided the gaze when he saw my state.

"Belle, iwan mo muna kami." he said to my friend.

Belle looked at me then smiled a little. But when she looked at Justin, she turned dead serious.

"I don't know what's happening to the both of you lately but please, Justin, fix the problem of the both of you kung kaya pa naman." she said.

Hindi na kaya, Belle...

Justin didn't say anything. He just waited for Belle to leave before he put his little attention on me.

"What happened to you? Ba't ganyan ka na?"

Ang lamig ng boses niya. Malayong-malayo sa kung paano niya ako kausapin dati.

"May sasabihin ako sa'yo. Hindi ko na 'to kayang patagalin, Anna. It's now or never." sabi niya. Nanatili lang akong tahimik. Handa na sa sasabihin niya... I heared him sighed before finally saying it. "Let's break up." sabi niya ng buong loob. "I've fallen out of love, Anna. I don't love you anymore. Alam kong masakit para sa'yo pero 'yon ang totoo. I'm just being honest now."

Totoo nga...

This day was supposed to be one of the best days for me, or supposedly, for the both of us... But now he's here saying that he's breaking up with me. That he doesn't love me anymore, that he've fallen out of love...

"7th anniversary, Jah..." I finally uttered as I look at him directly. "Ang sabi mo papakasalan mo 'ko pagdating ng 7th anniversary natin, ipinangako mo pa nga... But now what? Today is that day... Pero imbis na singsing ang matanggap ko mula sa'yo, 'yan pa talagang masasakit na salita na 'yan... Ano na? Wala nalang ba talaga 'yon sa'yo bigla nang dahil sakaniya?" I started confronting him.

I saw a glimps of shock in him.

"Kay Cara." I said as I stated a name. My cousin's name, and his other woman. "Alam ko, Justin... Ramdam ko..." I said. "Noon hindi mo pa nga pinapahalata sakin na may something sainyo but Cara did... Siguro siya nalang ang gumawa ng paraan no'n dahil hindi mo magawa. But now, hindi mo man sinabi pa pero alam ko na."

How dare them...

"Why didn't you tell me about it sooner? Sana sinabi mo na hanggang maaga pa. Hindi yung pinatagal mo pa at pinaabot mo pa ngayong anniversary pa natin sana." I said with anger.

Napaiwas siya ng tingin sakin at bahagyang napayuko.

"Sasabihin ko naman sana ng mas maaga... Pero natakot ako. Naisip at naalala ko yung nakaraan mo. Yung lahat ng ikinwento mo sa akin tungkol sa pamilya mo. Kung bakit nagpakamatay ang Mommy mo..."

"Well, worried? Concerned? Thank you sa concern mo, Justin." I sarcastically said. "Sana sinabi mo pa rin because unlike you," huminto ako saglit at napatitig sakaniya. Gusto ko siyang duruhin sa totoo lang pero hindi ko magawa. "Unlike you, I keep my promise." I said after my silence for a second. "Hindi ko gagawin yung ginawa ni Mommy sa sarili niya dahil nangako ako... Nangako ako mismo sakaniya, pati na rin sa'yo." sabi ko.

Dahil doon ay natahimik siya. He didn't uttered a single word kaya muli akong nagsalita.

"Sa susunod 'wag ka nang mangangako, ha. Kahit na kanino, even to my cousin... Don't ever make a promise na mapapako lang naman sa huli." I seriously said.

"H-Happy anni-No," tumigil ako dahil mali ang nasabi ko. "Happy heartbreak anniversary to you." I said with pain, bitterness, and maybe anger also in my voice. "Umalis ka na." sabi ko.

Tsaka lang siya tumingin sakin. Ni wala nga akong mabasang emosyon man lang sakaniya. For real. But I saw how he gulped as he slowly nod his head a bit

Paalis na sana siya pero muli siyang may sinabi sa akin.

"I believe that you'll keep your promise... So after you move on from this, please still choose to be happy." he said.

Hindi na ako kumibo at pinanood ko nalang siyang umalis.

Ilang minuto pa akong napatitig sa pintuan kung saan siya lumabas. We just broke up today which is the day of our anniversary, it makes my heart break into pieces.

I stopped crying. But just a few moments after, sunod-sunod nanamang bumagsak ang mga luha ko. I'm crying again. Gusto ko rin namang matigil 'to kaya hinayaan ko nalang ang sarili ko sa pag-iyak. If crying can help me lessen the pain and whatever I am feeling right now, okay lang na umiyak nang umiyak ako. Because starting from now on, wala na siya sa piling ko para patahanin ako.