Is this the final stop? (Toni Shalifoe)

Chapter 56

AN: Major shoutout to @cher7ie for making the most amazing edit for chapter 41/42 of this fic on tiktok!! Take a look! It's linked in this chapter, I think it should be near the bottom. 

I've never had someone make art like this for something I've written and it is making my heart BURST with love and joy and excitement. So a very big thank you and now... the chapter!

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Shelby breathes in Martha's fruity hair product, taking in the notes of blueberry and watermelon. She doesn't know how Martha's hands are so warm, but she feels them wrap around her back in the hug and there's nowhere else she'd rather be. No where else safer than here. With her.

Well, maybe in Toni's arms. But that's not an option.

Martha squeezes back just as hard as Shelby does. They let go only so they can breathe and lock eyes. Martha notices how red Shelby's have become, so she holds onto her hand and squeezes twice.

Shelby almost loses it right there. Again. But she sniffs, straightens her back, and works to be strong for Martha. The girl has always seemed a little fragile, especially regarding Toni. Then again, they both are when it comes to the girl they love.

Hands clasped together, clinging to each other, Martha and Shelby take a seat in the pews. Shelby doesn't know how to start or what to say. She doesn't know what Bernice has told her. They stay silent, the loud thoughts in their minds ruining the silence of the chapel.

Martha doesn't ask, so Shelby doesn't tell. Just being in the presence of each other is enough.
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Martha has finally dragged Shelby to the cafeteria. It was a valiant effort to get Shelby to buy some food. But as they sit at the table, Shelby stirs the chocolate pudding in front of her, making swirls and shapes. She does not eat it. She does not have an appetite.

Martha pleads to Shelby, "Please eat something." When Shelby doesn't, Martha starts again, "Toni would want—"

Shelby shakes her head and slaps down the plastic spoon on the laminate counter, "Toni's not here right now."

That shuts Martha up real quick. The girl swallows hard. Shelby realizes that she was too harsh, so she begrudgingly takes a spoonful of the pudding into her mouth as a peace offering.

But the words have been said. And that's all they can think about.

Toni's not here right now. She's in surgery. Because Shelby wasn't quick enough to save her. Because a man hunted down Martha's Person with the only goal to cause harm. Because Shelby was too blinded by hurt to see this coming or try to stop it or even skip the field trip.

"I'm so sorry Martha," Shelby whispers, the automatic negative thoughts becoming too all-consuming. She winces away at the memory of seeing Toni in that state. She takes a deep breath, thankful that Martha didn't have to see her like that.

"It's his fault. Not yours," Martha replies succinctly, like she's picking and choosing her words carefully. But now it's Martha's turn to play with her food, she's making a small tower of rice, pushing up the grains against each other.

Martha looks up at Shelby, checking in, and opens her mouth as if she's about to speak. She hesitates and closes it. Martha goes back to molding her tower. After another spoonful with the rice showers the small tower, it topples on the plate.

Like everything is crashing down around her, Martha's voice cracks as she asks, "How did it happen?"

Shelby waits, adjusting the story in her mind, rewriting it for Martha, but thinks better of it and just evades with, "I don't really want to relive it right now."