Computer Fighters 2000 But The AI Is Self-Aware

Two Eyes Made Out Of EYES

Before the team could reach their destination, it was time for another trip outside. Not exactly fun in the sun, though--this time they had to navigate through a dam while under fire from military helicopters. At one point Daxter fell off a ladder only to hover in place and then reappear at the top moments later; at another point Neil decided to dive off a bridge because the drop "didn't look that far" (it was at least fifty feet. Those AI were lucky they respawned so fast). Ryan briefly managed to hijack a helicopter only for it to shudder in midair and glitch out into a revolving mass of airborne machinery like nothing the team had ever seen before. It was hectic, it was stressful, and it was everything Kevin had come to know and... well, not exactly love, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't get a kick out of it.
The team took shelter from the aerial assault in a comfortably sized passageway between two cliffs. Pools of pale, sweet-smelling yellow and pink liquid dotted the passageway. Neil perked up and gestured to the pools with a self-satisfied smile.
"Check it out, guys: this is where we brew the lemonade. See, we've got the regular kind and the pink kind!"
"What kind of chemicals are in this stuff?" Ryan asked, kneeling down to fill his cupped hands with pink lemonade.
"Oh, they've got all the chemicals you could want, my friend."
Daxter snapped his fingers and a glass of the beverage in question appeared in his hand. He took a long sip and grinned; his model shivered with a wobbling-paper sound effect. "Far out!" he proclaimed. "Neil, it's no wonder they trust you with the production of lemonade worldwide."
Kevin arched an eyebrow. "Wait, so this place makes all the lemonade in the world?"
Neil nodded, chest puffing out with pride. "Yeah, and I manufacture 98% of it myself."
"Then what happens when this place shuts down? I mean, between the resonance cascade and the aliens and the--" He gestured vaguely to the helicopters buzzing like locusts above their heads. "I don't see this place staying in business much longer. In fact, I'd say it's pretty much shut down already."
"I say that's a win," Spencer put in. The security guard lounged against the rock wall (one arm clipping partway into it, no less) taking selfies while the others crouched beside the pools. "Like, death to corporations and all that. Unless a corporation shutting down would inconvenience me personally, in which case I'll complain about it but keep supporting it."
Following that interlude, it wasn't much longer until they arrived at the fabled cybernetics department.
Kevin shivered at the sudden cold when the doors to the lab slid open. The floor was covered by a thin layer of snow (artificial? No, it felt authentically wet beneath his boots); brightly coloured potions lined the shelves, desks, and countertops. Towards the back of the lab, a large pale figure in a top hat was bent over a sink, humming a jolly tune to himself. He stood and turned to face the science team as they entered; Neil screamed in terror at the scientist's appearance while the others perked up in excitement.
"Frosty! Boy, it's good to see you again." Grinning broadly, Ryan shook the snowman scientist's hand. He turned to Kevin and explained, "This is Dr. Frosty, the head of the mixology department. He can channel emotions to make potions for just about anything."
"Mixology? I thought this was the cybernetics lab."
"There was a merger," Frosty explained cheerfully. Then, turning to the rest of the team: "What can I do for you fellas today?"
"This bitch needs a new pair of eyes, or whatever," said Spencer, nudging Kevin with his elbow. "'Cause he doesn't appreciate the makeover I gave him."
Frosty clucked his tongue in sympathy (whether mock or genuine, it was hard to tell). "Oh, that's too bad... well, just hold on a minute and I'll see what I can do." He grabbed an empty glass off a shelf and held it up to Kevin's chest like he was going to tap a maple tree. "Kevin, I need you to think of your poor mangled face. Think of how much it hurts, and how badly you want your eyes replaced."
Kevin nodded. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and thought back to the sharp pain of Spencer's switchblade driving through his flesh; the panic of staggering around blindly; the burn of shame whenever he caught one of his companions gawking at his marred features. As his frustrations calcified, he felt something stir and begin to leak out of his chest. It was like bleeding from the soul. He momentarily swayed on his feet and braced himself against the nearest desk.
After what could have been anywhere from ten seconds to a minute, the leaking feeling fizzled out. Frosty pressed the formerly empty glass, now brimming with a deep blue-gray liquid, into his hands. It smelled faintly metallic.
"Alright, drink it up," the snowman prompted, clapping his mittens together.
Kevin raised the glass to his lips with a twinge of trepidation. His companions gathered around, watching raptly. After a few moments' hesitation, he sucked it back in a gulp.
The concoction immediately triggered his gag reflex. It managed to simultaneously be bitter, spicy, and taste like cheap beer--a far cry from the lemonade he and his friends had enjoyed shortly before, and the sodas they'd periodically gathered from vending machines. Come to think of it, he'd almost forgotten how beverages that weren't super sugary tasted. The potion burned going down. Kevin's magically restored vision disappeared as a fresh wave of stinging pain sprung from where his eyes had been. He hissed in discomfort and fell to his knees. Then a shiver wracked his body, and something began to swell up inside his skull. There was the sound of wet shifting flesh, a pop, and...
Kevin opened his eyes. He gasped to catch his breath, laying a hand over his chest even though he couldn't actually feel his pounding pulse through the HEV suit. The room swam into focus around him--full focus, not blurry or distorted. Exactly how it was before. He raised his head and broke into a slow, incredulous grin.
"Wow. Thank you, Frosty."
"No problem, fellas, it's always my pleasure to serve," the mixologist replied in a voice just smarmy enough to sound phony.
"Wow, Kevin, you look amazing," Neil told him with a grin. "It's like they never got gouged out."
"I dunno..." Ryan crossed his arms, frowning slightly. "I think I liked it better when there was more gore. These new eyes look too normal."
"Don't you worry, Ryan," Daxter interjected with a waggle of his finger. "I know Frosty's mixology inside and out. These are no ordinary bionic eyes. Kevin, try squinting at that wall over there."
Though something about the AI's confident grin made him wary, Kevin followed the directions. When he picked a spot on the far wall and focused, his new eyes suddenly grew hot--a weird sensation, to say the least--and a laser blasted forth from his retinas, leaving a smoking crater where it met the wall. Kevin yelped and stumbled backward while his friends oohed and ahhed at the display.
"And that's not all," Daxter went on. "Focus every muscle in your body to enter Devil Gun Mode!"
"Alright, this lab is awesome," Neil enthused. He grabbed Ryan's wrist and pulled him toward a trunk of miscellaneous objects in the corner. "Let's go see what other stuff we can find."
While the two of them dug through the trunk, Daxter grabbed a massive gun off a shelf. It looked more like an arcade game prop than a real gun. He dipped it in an exposed potion glass and it came out sizzling and glowing slightly; with a burst of maniacal laughter, Daxter used it to fire a round of real bullets into the ceiling. After trying out his new bionic eyes a few more times--no luck unlocking Devil Gun Mode yet, but the basic laser was good enough for him--Kevin wandered over to see what his friends were finding.
"Woah, check out this thing," Ryan said, holding up a gun with a glowing orb for a core. "I wonder what--"
The rest of his sentence was drowned out as the orb burst to life with a crackle of energy, then vanished along with its owner. Kevin and Neil were left to stare at empty space for a tense stretch of seconds until Ryan flickered back into existence with a gasp.
"Woah, that was neat," said Neil. "Where'd you go?"
Ryan raised his eyebrows and flashed them a smile akin to the bared teeth of a scared animal. "Gentlemen, I've seen unimaginable horrors."
"I found something cool too," Neil went on without acknowledging that remark. He held up a brand new propeller cap and placed it on his head with a chipper smile. "Pretty spiffy, huh?"
"Sure is, Neil. So, I guess we all got what we came here for..." Putting his hands on his hips, Kevin turned to look back at Daxter messing around with his new gun. In the opposite corner, Spencer appeared to be using Myspace on Frosty's computer. "I reckon it's about time we head out."
"You don't want to come with us, do you, Frosty?" Neil asked the mixologist as they were getting ready to leave the lab.
"Aw, thanks for the offer, fellas... but I prefer not to get too wrapped up in nasty things like murder and violence." Frosty cast a knowing look at Daxter, who chuckled under his breath. "Mr. Flaxter tells me you five have been killing all sorts of people. That's not very nice behaviour, you know."
"Yeah, that's fair..." Kevin rubbed at the back of his neck with an awkward laugh. "Take care, Frosty. And thanks again for the new eyes."
And it seemed he'd be getting lots of opportunity to use them. No sooner had the science team left the cybernetics lab than they came upon a band of soldiers out in the hall. His companions immediately had their weapons at the ready. And though a few days (or had it been weeks?) ago he practically would have fainted at the thought of defying America and its military, Kevin was right there with them. He cast a cocky grin over his shoulder at his band of AI.
"Alright, guys. Time to keep wiping out the US military."