Computer Fighters 2000 But The AI Is Self-Aware

But A Dog Is Forever

The latest military assault was the most brutal one they'd seen yet. Soldiers swarmed the whole compound, inside and out. The team had to scramble through vents and vats and collapsing hallways, guns blazing all the while, just to stay alive. At one point they managed to get to the top of a cliff a few meters outside the building, where they found a large device with a screen stationed next to a radio antenna.
"Woah, this must be the snapchat filter station," said Spencer. He leaned over the machine and made a peace sign. "It'll, like, scan us and add all kinds of wicked filters. Of course we'll only want to use it ironically."
Kevin cast a skeptical glance at Neil, who was crouching down to investigate the machine. "That's not what this is, right?"
"Not even close," Neil confirmed. "I think it's broadcasting a signal. This must be how the military knows we're here."
"Like a giant communicator watch," Ryan mused, stroking his chin.
That description gave Kevin an idea. He stepped up to the machine and laid a hand on its console, pressing the button which he guessed would transmit a message. He cleared his throat and put on his best confident patriot voice--not a far cry from his normal voice, as it happened.
"Come in, er... november, kilo, romeo... The scientists are dead, repeat: the scientists are dead. Feel free to clear out anytime." Taking his hand off the transmitter button, he leaned casually against the device and crossed his arms. Seeing his companions' bewildered stares, he explained:  "See, if they think their mission's accomplished, the soldiers will be out of our hair."
As if on cue, the radio crackled to life with a response.
"Yeah, I hear ya. Uh... bat, macro, macro. Macro... bat."
"That's not the NATO phonetic alphabet," Kevin muttered. "What's this guy saying?"
The vaguely familiar-sounding soldier on the other end of the line carried on repeating those nonsense words while the drone of helicopters around them continued uninterrupted. After a few moments, Kevin shrugged and turned back to his team.
"Well, it was worth a shot. C'mon, men, let's forge ahead."
A while later they came across a basement garage where several vehicles were parked. Kevin initially gravitated toward a nice-looking pickup truck, but his teammates piled into an electric car instead. Ryan took the driver's seat and used a lock pick for the ignition; Neil claimed shotgun. Kevin wound up in the backseat with Daxter while Spencer elected to sit on the front of the car like an oversized hood ornament ("Car seats are, like, so conformist.") The science team drove about five feet before bumping up against a wall. They backed up and tried again.
"Ryan, do you know how to drive?"
The AI flashed Kevin a smile in the rearview. "Not to worry, gentlemen. I have a long history of carjacking."
"Yeah, but can you actually drive?"
"Hey, look out!" Neil interjected shrilly.
He pointed to where a security guard stood with their back to the science team, seemingly unaware of the car bearing down on them. Daxter laughed and snapped his fingers. The guard's model blinked out of existence seconds before the car would have hit them, and the team plowed freely ahead.
The impromptu "road trip" didn't last long. Aside from the questionable driving skills, it seemed their stolen vehicle had a pretty low tank. The car came to a rumbling stop outside a large door marked with caution tape. Coming from behind the door was a muffled high-pitched noise, like a barking dog. Kevin and Ryan exchanged a startled glance as they approached the door, while Neil gasped in recognition.
"Hey, I know that bark! Could it be...?"
The door raised like a theater curtain, revealing a circle of mounted turrets set up to point at a cage in the centre. And inside that cage was the source of the barking: a border collie pawing at the bars of her prison.
"Rocky!"
Neil rushed toward the dog; the others followed close behind. Just as they reached the caged dog's side, the door slammed shut behind them. A snicker echoed through the room, accompanied by the thud of army boots. The science team turned in unison to see a familiar soldier stepping out of the shadows.
"Eh-heh-heh-heh... heh." Max uncrossed his arms as he sauntered toward a button mounted on the wall. "Time to say goodbye to your puppy... unless you do exactly what I tell you."
"We'll never take orders from you," Ryan hissed, adopting a fighting stance.
Max sneered. His thumb brushed against the button, and the turrets whirred attentively. Neil's eyes widened in fear.
"Hang on a minute," Kevin interjected. Putting himself between his friends and Max, he crossed his arms and stared the soldier down with narrowed eyes. "What do you want us to do?"
"Heh, glad you asked. See, I was showing my roommate Mitch some, uh, what's the word? YouTube videos--"
"You're still hanging with that capitalist douchebag?" Spencer interjected. "I told you to ditch him, bro. He's no good for you."
Ryan glanced between Max and Spencer, eyebrows raised. "Woah, you two know each other?"
"Course we do. We were, uh, in the academy together." Spencer took a puff of his vape and exhaled pink and yellow sweet voice, like a friendly greeting. "So, you graduate yet or what?"
"Nah, but I'm still trying. So yeah, I was showing Mitch these videos," Max went on, the beginnings of an amicable expression quickly reverting to a scowl as he spoke, "and he said the Irate Gamer was a ripoff of some stupid nerd." A growl rose in his voice; apparently just relaying this conversation was enough to rile him up anew. He shoved a broken walkie-talkie roughly into Kevin's hand. "I need you to tell him he's full of it."
Kevin stared blankly at the walkie-talkie. "...Huh?"
"You heard me, Kevin Lames," the soldier taunted. "You and your loser friends know all about stupid nerd stuff, don't you? So tell my stuck-up roommate that he doesn't know what he's talking about."
"Uh, I don't know, Max," said Neil. "I'm pretty sure the Irate Gamer did copy the Angry Video Game Nerd's review format."
"Oh yeah?" Max glowered at the scientist. "I'll give you a review format to copy--it's called I'm gonna kill your dog!"
He slammed his fist against the button and the turrets burst to life. Neil yelped and rolled out of the way of the barrage of bullets; Ryan grabbed him, and the two AI clutched at each other with stricken expressions. Kevin swallowed hard and looked away. Though he'd never gotten the chance to meet the dog in person, the sight of an innocent creature meeting such a brutal fate...
But wait. The barking continued unbroken over the gunfire. And when the turrets switched off, Rocky was still there, completely unharmed. She pawed at the bars of her cage with a whimper and tilted her head.
"Alright, I almost forgot!" Bright disposition immediately restored, Neil leapt to his feet and adjusted his glasses. "I designed her to live forever. Nothing can hurt Rocky!"
"I guess that's kinda dope, but I don't get what the big deal is about a dog anyway," said Spencer. "I mean, leopard geckos are totally the new dogs."
"No they're not."
"Well, like..." Spencer released a stream of green and yellow sweet voice and averted his gaze. "Who needs an animal that can love you, or withstand bullets or whatever? Isn't that kind of, like, asserting anthropocentric norms onto wildlife? Of course I only own pets ironically anyway..."
"You know, he does have a point," said Ryan. "I've been talking to the squids lately, and they're all sick of us holding animals to human standards."
"Ah, standards, shmandards! All that matters is that this wrongly imprisoned animal goes free."
Kevin knelt beside the cage and undid the latch. Once it was open, Rocky bounded out and jumped up at him with a happy bark; he laughed and scratched her behind the ears. Then she ran to her creator's side, where Neil and Ryan moved to stand protectively on either side of her.
"Hey, no fair," Max griped. "Stupid dog was supposed to play dead."
"Too bad," Daxter remarked. "Looks like you don't have any leverage over us!"
"So why don't you just head back to your army base and leave us alone?" Kevin added, making a walking motion with his fingers in demonstration.
"Ehn, I won't bother going back there. Nobody's around anymore 'cause I'm the only one left in the army."
"You mean--"
"That's right," said Daxter. "We've wiped out the entire US military!"
Before Kevin could interject with "well, except for this guy..." Daxter threw a grenade at Max. The soldier whipped out a rifle and fired at the explosive, which instantly detonated upon being struck. The science team (save for Daxter, who just laughed) collectively winced and ducked as an explosion rang out across the room. When the smoke cleared, the soldier was gone without a trace. And with that, it seemed the military was well and truly wiped out.
While Kevin coughed and waved smoke out of his eyes, Neil and Ryan laughed and hugged Rocky. Daxter extended one of his arms to pat her on the head, prompting a startled bark. In the corner, Spencer pursed his lips and raised a hand slightly like he wanted to approach the dog himself, but then scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Trying to act like he's above the popular pet choices? Kevin rolled his eyes and shook his head as he joined his companions in petting the dog. That's his loss.
"It's sure nice to see you, Rocky," Neil addressed the unkillable dog. "But it's not safe here. You'd better head home."
Rocky barked and licked Neil's cheek in response. She got up and trotted, tail wagging, toward the door. It rumbled open, and the AI stood in the doorway and watched her head off down the hall on her own.
"So," Ryan asked once the dog had vanished into the distance, "What now?"
Kevin surveyed the room thoughtfully, tapping his chin. Now that his focus wasn't fixed on the turrets, he noticed an arrow sign on the wall pointing to a descending staircase. He angled his head toward the stairs and nodded to his companions.
"Check it out--looks like we're almost at the end of the level."
Down the stairs was a dark and damp hallway where muffled sounds of churning machinery echoed from nearby. Several dead bodies littered the ground, including one slightly misshapen form with long brown hair. Ryan nudged it with his foot and grimaced.
"Looks like some of my prototypes got loose. I sure hope none of them are still roaming around."
"...Prototypes?"
"Don't worry about it," Ryan told them quickly with a slightly-too-wide grin. "Kevin, why don't you check what's behind that door?"
The door in question was a hatch that looked like it led to a vent or shaft. Kevin approached it warily. He cast a questioning glance at Neil, who nudged him on with a mutter of "yeah, let's check it out."
Gun at the ready, Kevin opened the hatch and peered into its dark interior. Something flashed in the darkness--a set of eyes--no, several sets, accompanied by a rapidly approaching scuttling sound. Kevin screamed and leapt back just in time to avoid a pale hand grasping at him with long, splintered fingernails. He kicked the door shut and fought to hold it in place with his boot as what must have been a half-dozen bodies slammed against it, hissing and screeching.
"Are these your prototypes, Ryan?!"
"Well, you know the scientific process," the AI replied shrilly. "We always go through some trial-and-error before landing on a good result!"
"This one was almost gonna be written off as a failure too," Neil put in, wrapping an arm around Ryan's shoulder. "But I talked them into letting him out."
And sure enough, though the prototypes' screams were inhuman, they were still recognizable as Ryan's voice. A deep shudder ran down Kevin's spine. He wedged his gun through the gap in the hatch and fired off a couple shots.
"Wrong door, new kids," Daxter announced somewhat unnecessarily. He gestured at a set of automatic doors which swished open to reveal a massive chamber full of machinery. "Here's the door you're looking for!"
In the centre of the chamber, a scientist stood at the foot of a machine. Mounted at the top of a large platform was a metal frame about the shape and size of a mirror. Though seemingly dormant, it hummed with an electric energy that made Kevin's hairs stand on end.
"I still don't know what to make of it," the scientist told them. "We've sent several brave individuals through the portal, but none of them returned. The readings are like nothing we've ever seen before."
"You know, that would've scared me a lot more a couple weeks ago..." Kevin shot a fond glance at his companions. "But these amigos and I have been through hell and back together. Whatever's out there, I think we can handle it."
"Well, if you're sure," the scientist sighed. The team exchanged a few words as they made their way to the top of the platform.
"So, we just have to go through the portal. No big deal, just another day in the life..."
"Yeah, I'm guessing it'll either take us to the final level or kill us instantly."
"...That'd be a pretty painless death, right?"
"Golly, I sure hope so!"
Once they were in position, the scientist flipped a large switch and the machine crackled to life. The surrounding hum grew louder and deeper as a stretch of black void opened up inside the frame, criss-crossed with green electricity. The science team shared one final meaningful look before they stepped one by one through the portal, into whatever horrors lay beyond.