Luke Hemmings - Roommates

Communication Is The Key

I never left my room yesterday.

Not once.

Not even for a minute.

Michael had tried to talk to me but I refused to talk to him and he would walk away with a sad and hurt look on his face. I felt bad about it but it was probably hurting me more to push him away the way that I did when all I wanted was for him to hug me and tell me everything would be alright. I just need some time alone so that I don't show how I'm actually feeling; they can't know how truly I broken am inside. They would never look at me in the same way again and I couldn't afford to allow that to happen. I slowly transforming into the old me and I need to quit it now while I still have the chance because I promise I will sooner kill myself than become that girl again. For me it was another completely restless night as I tried my best to just sleep and momentarily forget everything but it just wasn't happening. When I finally decided to get out of bed the others were all eating breakfast in the kitchen when I went in to get a bottle of water. "Morning." I chirped plastering a smile on my face.

"Morning glad to see you're back to your usual happy self." Ash smiled.

"Can't wallow in self-pity forever can I?" I shrugged taking long gulps of my drink.

"Do you want a bacon and egg sandwich made?" The thought of a bacon and egg sandwich was really tempting but I wasn't hungry so it would just be greed therefore I grabbed a banana from the fridge.

"No thanks Ash I'm not really hungry." I took my usual seat next to Luke but completely ignored him as I ate my breakfast. "So what are we all up to today then?" I tried my best to create conversation and get rid of some of the tension hanging over our heads however they all just stared at me blankly. "Okay then." I mumbled looking down at the table. The silence was making me uncomfortable and I was worried that they could see straight through my emotional blockade.

"How's your hand?" Luke asked and the emotional blockade almost come tumbling straight down just at the sound of his voice. In just a couple of months I had fallen hopelessly in love with this boy only to have him rip my heart out and now I'm left to pick up the pieces.

"Fine." My voice was cracked and came out at least a whole octave higher than usual as I tried to cover it up but only making it worse and more noticeable. "I'm sorry but I'll have to excuse myself." I stood up and grabbed my IPod heading out into the cold in only sweats and a t-shirt neglecting to pick up my phone so nobody could contact me. I plugged my headphones in and just walked, I didn't care where I ended up as long as it wasn't my dorm room. I finally found a park not far from the college campus and took a seat on one of the benches away from everybody else opening up my IPod and looking at some of the photos I have on there. When I felt a presence beside me I looked up to come face to face with Michael.

"Here." He handed me one of my jackets which I gratefully took before he pulled me into a hug. It was still slightly painful at first as he gripped me tightly but I didn't pull away, pain doesn't bother me anymore. "What are you listening to?" I handed him a headphone and he put it in his own ear listening along to 18 years with me. It was about ten minutes before either of us spoke again. "Why do you keep pretending like you're fine?" He sighed finally asking the question he had been wanting to since he got here.

"I am fine." I protested with a small smile and then Luke's words played through my head and my smile faltered a little before I regained my composure.

"No Kenzie you're not. I know you'll carry on like a soldier with a battle wound but how much of it can you take? How long before you can't carry on anymore? How long before it breaks you?" His words were spoken quietly as though saying them would do just that to me. As though saying them would break me.