Luke Hemmings - Roommates

All My Fault

I stood on the landing with Michael who was playing nervously with his fingers. Something was really bugging him and messing with his head. I was getting more and more worried by the moment but to look at me you wouldn't have known it. I'm quite good at hiding my emotions; I've had plenty of practice. "I need to tell you something." Well no shit Sherlock why else would I be stood here. He started bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet and moved to run his hand through his hair tugging lightly at the roots. "Well... er you know the meeting we had with Marie before." I nodded. "Well we're going to go on tour in two months' time." I engulfed him in a hug as tight as I could. "Mikey that's great." I felt him tense and pulled away knowing immediately that something was wrong. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He lied. There wasn't a smile on his face, he was still bouncing nervously and his hand repeatedly went to his hair. Plus the fact that he can't look me in the eye. There's something he's not telling me.

"Bullshit. You know for a fact that you can't hide stuff from me."

"We don't know if you're going to be allowed to come with us yet. So far Marie has said no because she can't promise anything but she said she'll try."

"Oh." My entire world felt like it had just crumbled at my feet. "Hey I guess I'll just have to come and visit." I smiled. I had already showed weakness once already it would not be happening again so I plastered a smile on my face trying to make it seem as genuine as possible. I could tell from the look on his face that he was falling apart inside. "Don't worry about me I'll be fine." I reassured and I knew every single thought running through his mind from the way he was looking at me. He was tearing himself apart from the inside out.

"I promised I wouldn't." He rushed out. "I promised I wouldn't leave you and I'm already breaking that promise." His voice cracked and that was when I could truly tell how torn up he was over this entire situation and although I didn't think I could handle everyone leaving me I knew he needed me to comfort him so I stayed strong. "Don't worry Mikey I'll try and keep myself in one piece for you coming back." I joked trying to lighten the mood. "Besides there is something I need to tell you as well which may mean I'm leaving for a little while so I guess that makes us even." He looked at me confused. "Let's go to the café and we can talk about it properly because nobody else knows." He nodded.

We walked silently down the stair bumping into Stephen on the way. "You off out?" He asked still taking his job to stop me getting in trouble very seriously. It had only just gone ten what trouble could I possibly get into. Stupid question. It's me we're talking about here, I find trouble anywhere at anytime.

"Yeah I am and don't worry this one here doesn't like the high speeds." I patted Michael on the shoulder before we left and got in the car. I drove to the café and we ordered our drinks before taking a seat at a table in the far corner away from anyone who might come in looking for a late night coffee before work. I know quite a few of the Nissan lads like to come in here before starting night shift and I can't be bothered with them interrupting. "Are you not pissed about the whole thing?" Not pissed jut completely destroyed; well slightly pissed that Luke didn't tell me.

"At Luke a little bit but no not really." Wait how can I be pissed because they're going on tour, I'm not exactly telling them everything either. I shrugged sipping at my hot chocolate.

"You always act so strong as though nothing is bothering you. It's okay to let your guard down when you're with me." I still just continued smiling. It's okay to let my guard down my ass. Last time I did that it didn't end to well for anybody. "So what is it you want to tell me?" He asked giving up on trying to get me to tell him how I was really feeling.

"Well remember when you mentioned that thing about me wanting to join the marines." I started and he nodded before a frown spread across his face.

"Oh god Kenzie please tell me you didn't."