Lie To Yourself

1

Thud, Thud, Thud

I wonder what i should have for my tea tomorrow? I have some nice pasta in the fridge, I guess I could just have that.

'Oh fuck' is all it took to distract me from my thoughts.

'Are you done?' I said shifting his hot, sweaty body off me. I really cannot for the life of me remember his name. Cameron? Charlie?

'That was fucking amazing wasn't it' is all he said. It took all of my power not to laugh in his face. It was shit, but I guess it was a means to an end.

'Right, so I have an early flight tomorrow so I should really get a shower and get some sleep' I lied.

'Okay yeah, thanks again!' He said scrambling to his feet, clutching his jeans and shoes in his hands.

Once the door was shut and I was alone again I let out a breath that I had no idea I was holding. I can't believe I keep doing this to people. I have to be honest, I have and had no interest in Charlie or Cameron or whatever the fuck his name was.

Now that I have some time to myself, let me start at the beginning. My name is Katie, I am 22 and I think I am broken. Okay so that's a bit dramatic, let me rephrase. I make stupid decisions, I have sex with inappropriate people because I don't have a clue who I am. I have the perfect job; I am the PA to a Managing Director, I have a great (if not slightly odd) family, but there has always been a part of me that just felt off centre and I never have been able to explain what that is. Ah well that's enough dwelling for now.

I glanced at the clock, 12:00am. Is it too late to go find someone else to satisfy what Charlie? Or Cameron...Couldn't? I could just maybe try myself? I laid back, my head propped up by just 2 perfectly plump pillows. I traced my fingers with featherlight touches down my own body, down my hip, just pausing in the groove of my curve. I carried my fingers into my black lacy knickers...dry. Ah fuck it! I retreated my hands from their mission and gave up. Good night.