Lie To Yourself

32

"Hi Erm...hey I think I got the wrong..." but before I could possibly embarrass myself anymore Ollie has stolen my phone from me.

"Hey!" trying to catch my phone from Ollie as he snatched it.

"This Brooke?...hmm...yeah...yeah...very drunk....also I think she likes you and is ready to forgive....can you come get her?" Jesus I'm not a child I thought to myself as Ollie treat me like a child talking to Brooke on my behalf.

He hung up and passed me back my phone "she'll be here in 10 minutes"

"Urgh fuck no! I was meant to sleep with a hot woman to forget about Brooke!"

"I thought you weren't gay?" Ollie laughed as he once again emptied the dishwasher.

"Well you know what I mean!" I defended.

"Yeah yeah that's what they all say love." The barman said with a smirk on his face.

I stood up, only then realising how many vodkas I had consumed and started to put my jacket on. Hoping that I could miraculously grab an Uber before Brooke turned up.

But alas, fate was not on my side. Right on cue, the perfectly bodied, beautifully styled and deliciously scented Brooke walked in. (Yes that is the alcohol talking)

"Hey baby come on, let's get you home" she rushed to my side like an injured animal.

"I'm fine, I don't need your help. Maybe Luke does though" I spat at her viciously

"That's not fair, I came to help. If you don't want to talk to me that's fine but I'm giving you a lift home to make sure you get home safe."

"Fine...Bye Oliver!" I turned and waved to my new friend from over the top of the bar!

He just waved in my direction, probably glad that I was out of sight.

Brooke opened the car door of an Uber and scooted alongside me. To say she came at such short notice she looked fucking amazing. She had her perfectly dark short hair pin straight with black jeans on, a white v neck t-shirt and white converse. Against my better judgement I really wanted to kiss her. I hated her but fancied her even more. I wanted to kick out at her but also make love to her even more.

I think the vodka had given me an unparalleled confidence because before my head was working my hands tilted Brooke's face towards my own and leaned my own in to her lips.

"Woah Katie, what are you doing? I thought you hated me" she pulled away from me, confusingly looking surprised.

"You don't want me?" Why didn't she want me? Did she genuinely want Luke now?

"Of course I do! But I hurt you. And I want you so badly, but it would really hurt me if I kissed you and you regretted it when you were sober." Brooke was holding my cheek in her hand and looking me straight in the eyes.

That was when I felt a single tear drop. Not an ocean, just a puddle.

"Don't cry Katie, I'm so sorry for what I did. I promise if I could take it back I would." I don't want to cry Brooke! You don't deserve to see me cry.

But I couldn't help it. I needed her comfort as much as I needed the space. Only right now, the comfort seemed like the best option.

"You hurt me Brooke. You really hurt me. I didn't want to like you, I was confused and when we slept together it was like my whole like had turned upside down. Like everything I thought I had known about myself was wrong. I needed my hand holding through that but you just went along and disregarded my feelings." Fuck. I don't think I've ever been this raw.

"Fuck" Brooke mirrored my reaction. "I honestly, didn't know you felt like that. I thought in all honestly that you'd probably experiment with me like most girls have in the past. One night and then gone back to guys. I wish you'd have told me how you felt Katie. I like you, I really do, I just never thought you could have ever been mine. And now I've fucked it up."

Nothing more needed to be said. I was tired, rejected, but I felt a peace inside that I had not felt for days. I moved up closer to Brooke and rested my head on her shoulder, falling into a deep dream.

Im not sure if Brooke had carried me into my room or I'd forgotten but the next time I was aware of the world I was checking my phone at 5am and I was in my pyjamas. Hmm how drunk was I?

I stumbled out to the kitchen where I head the living room television playing subtly, i went to investigate and found Brooke fast asleep on the couch curled up (probably cold due to the lack of blanket on her).

After saving me last night the least she deserved was to be warm.

"Brooke, Brooke, Brooke wake up" I tried to be delicate as not to frighten her.

"Katie are you okay?" She peered through almost closed eyes at me from below.

"Yeah, do you want to come get in bed? I promise I won't try anything on you again."

"Haha, deal." She got up with speed and followed me back to my room. "Although I wouldn't mind if you did"

Oh Brooke what am I going to do with you.

As I laid down I felt more comfortable knowing that I wasn't alone. Brooke and I slept for a while longer with the perfect distance between us but one of us had forgotten that in the morning as we woke up, with her spooning me, nestling her head on my shoulder.

I didn't want to move her, I felt safe, and warm and loved.