Before and After Him

Ages: 13-15

Having a boyfriend is marvellous.
There's simply no other way to put it.
Connor is everything I could ever want and so much more.

He's my best friend, he makes me laugh, he makes me better and he makes things easy.
It doesn't faze me how fortunate I am.
Girls dream about a Connor and I'm more than lucky to have found one.

Everything is perfect until he told me about his family cabin on lake Superior.
From Fargo North Dakota to Sliver Bay Minnesota it's over a five hour drive.
Or 290.7 miles but that might be a little too specific, even for me.
A family cabin, him and his family go to every summer for two weeks to 'unplug'.

"You won't even know I'm gone", I try to give Connor a look of death and by the fear that enters his eyes I'm pretty sure it worked.
"Of course I'll know!"
"Look", I'm not leaving for a whole week! Than I'll be gone for two weeks and we'll have the rest of summer."
"It's August, school starts September 2nd", Connor grinds his teeth, knowing full well that by the time he gets back, it's exactly two days before school starts.
I would usually wouldn't know this kind of thing, I'm not a planner but as soon as Connor spilled about his trip I Googled the new school year calendar.

We make the most of the week, playing video games, since Connor got a new PlayStation for his birthday. Watching movies, playing with Ruby, window shopping, baking and just hanging out.
It's a great week, but it comes to an end.

"Liv, sweetie. Connor's gotta pack", dismissed. I've been dismissed, "he'll come say goodbye before we leave."
I wonder if it bothers Shelly how much time I'm spending with her son?
I mean, she definitely encouraged our friendship but that was before she knew that I would be at her house everyday.
She hasn't given me a reason to think I'm not welcome, but even if she did, it doesn't matter what she thinks because I would still be here anyways.
"See you tomorrow", I don't know what proper etiquette is in this situation.
Usually, Connor and I kiss goodbye but with Shelly watching I'm pretty sure that isn't acceptable.
It must be, because Connor kisses me on the cheek.
Obviously, I wish it had been the mouth but I'll take what I can get.
I don't bother looking in Shelly's direction as I leave Connor's room.
"Do you want me to walk you home?"
I hear from the hallway, "no", I call back, "you have packing to do", his sigh is overdrawn even for me.

"Bye Luke, bye Ruby", I say than blow a kiss that makes Ruby smile.
"Take care of yourself Liv", Luke says sounding ever like a father.
Instead of saying 'thank you', or 'you too', I say, "I'll see you tomorrow morning."
I hear Luke's chuckle radiate, all the way home.

"You're home late."
It's summer.
I'm not though.
I've been home way later than this but that doesn't matter.
It only matters because I was wanted for something and I wasn't there.
That's what makes me late.
"Sorry, last day with Connor."
My mother actually yawns, an over exaggerated obnoxious yawn that lets me see all her sharp bleached fangs.
"There's dinner in the fridge", I don't tell her that I ate at the Bensons but part of me think she already knows that.
Part of me thinks that she wants me to admit to taking their charity.
I would never hear the end of it, I can practically already hear the comparisons, 'you're like a hobo begging for scraps.'
"Thanks", I say as I meet her eyes.

She's almost all the way up the stairs when she whispers, "he had a bad day."
Maybe her concern about my whereabouts didn't have anything to do about wanting something from me.
I'm left over analyzing our conversation, playing it on loop like a catchy song you can't quite get out of your head.

I didn't sleep much, I'm not the least bit surprised.
Dad must of had a really bad day because it was only a few minutes after I turned off my light, once the yelling started.
I don't know how long it lasted, I easily could of looked at my clock, I didn't.
What's the point?
Any minute of yelling is a minute too long.