Before and After Him

Ages: 21-26

Alex and I haven't talked since we almost had sex.
That was nine days ago; not that I'm counting.

"Can you not?"
Ruby rolls her eyes as she bounces a tennis ball with enough force that the ball bounces as high as her.
She doesn't even play tennis.
She bounces the ball harder just to spite me, "who peed in your cornflakes?"
"I'm doing homework, I don't have time for this."
Ruby walks away probably having heard, I don't have time for you.

It's easy to ignore something when it's out of sight.
Makes sense, there's literally a saying; out of sight out of mind.
So why isn't it easy to ignore Alex?

"Phone's for you."
I can't contain my smile or my curiosity.
I wonder how Alex broke his phone?
I wonder how if he lost it?
Or maybe he wants to bring back chivalry and call the landline? The last thought makes me roll my eyes.
"Hello?"
There's static and than, "Liv Benson?"
My heart drops, "Keats. Liv Keats."
"You the pretty blond that worked at Bob's Convenience?"
He doesn't say it like it's a complement, more so that my blonde hair annoys him.
I'm I even blonde? Not really?
"Liv?" He snaps.
"Sorry, what?"
"Did you work at the gas station called Bob's?"
"Yes."

"Good, I thought that bitch gave me the wrong number."
I don't know what bitch he means but I'm guessing either Sophie or Sophie's mom.
"I'm opening up the diner-"
"I thought it was going to be a bed and breakfast."
He makes a nasty voice in the back of his throat from being cut off, "no. It's gonna be a dinner. I was told you wanna keep working here. That you'll be a mighty fine waitress."

Even though we're having a phone conversation I can hear him smack his lips together when he talks.
"Yes", I say more hesitantly, "where did you get this number?"
"I'm talking on the phone!" He screams instead of answering my question.
"What was that doll?"
I hang up.
Not the most mature thing to do but too many red flags.
"What the hell Liv?! That's your boss", Shelly says no longer pretending not to eavesdrop.
I shake my head at her, "over my dead body."
She signs and looks at me like I got issues, I do but that's besides the point.
She nervously swallows, "Your daddy came by looking for you."
She should of lead with that.
Honestly, I'm grateful for the distraction because my abusive father trumps the pervy phone call I just had.
"Did you tell him I'm here?"
Shelly shakes her head, "but he knows."
"Of course he fucking does", I mumble under my breath.
That bastard seems to know everything.

For the first time in over a week Alex doesn't consume my every thought.
Not because he isn't all consuming but instead because I can't stop thinking of my father- Adam.
I really need to stop thinking of him as a father, that gives him too much power over me.

I'm getting into my car when a note catches my eye.
"Sunday dinner @ 6:30 pm don't be late."
Fuck me.

All week I'm consumed by fear.
I don't bother telling Shelly or Ruby because they would just tell me not to go.
That's the normal thing to do in this situation, ignore the note and not go to my abusive mothers house for dinner. My verbally abusive mothers house for dinner who will be hosting my physically abusive Adam.
His name is fucking Adam, I am no longer referring to him as father and definitely not dad.

Though, I don't think I've ever called him dad at least not after-
"I think it's done."
"What?"
Ruby gives an awkward laugh for my expense, "the Kraft dinner you've been stirring for the last five minutes."
"Right."
The noddles are so overcooked they practically dissolved.

With everyday that's closer to Sunday I feel myself shitting my pants just a little more.
I'm struggling to focus on lectures which is always the case but now it's now borderline impossible.

Still haven't heard from Alex and every time I text him I can't find it in me to hint send.
Not from a lack of interest or lack of trying; I just can't be faced with the conversation he surely wants to have.