The Rant Book

You guys and girls annoy me

Is it really hard to think before you do something? Does it take a daredevil to do that?

Just wondering, if only I'm the daredevil or there are other smartasses out there as well.

My friends tag me a 'granny' sometimes, because I think things through a zillion times and make every move with caution. Well that doesn't really makes me a granny but it doesn't make me 'cool' either they say.

People think living on the egde makes your life thrilling. I say maybe, but it also increases your chances at dying early with the fear of falling off that 'edge'. Practically, you just get into more trouble than you'd want yourself into.

So, today I'd like to advise ya'll (No, not in a 'granny' way. Ugh) how stupidly do girls fall for a guy's trap?

Well, it's no rocket science. I have seen girls, smart girls getting all dumb under the influence of a guy. I mean, seriously? You complain about getting 'used' but it's almost always you who takes the step into the prohibited direction. Did you not know anything about self-respect?

Sorry I asked that question, you were probably bunking that class to make out with your boyfriend.

I have no experience with a guy, considering I'm still sane, which proves I'm single (Yeah, that's my theory). but somethings have happened and I am totally done with guys. At least till I'm in a more mature age.

Anyways, the topic here isn't about my dating plans(which'd be totally boring considering I don't have any) but it's about how frustrated I get when girls act stupid and never ever take responsibility of their action.

A girl came to me crying, saying her boyfriend cheated on her for the third time and she was done. For good.

My first question to her was, "Were you high on drugs when you caught him for the first time?"

All of us know; once a cheater, always a repeater.

I don't get why people cheat. You're unhappy? Great, tell your partner.

You're done with this? Even better. End the dang relationship.

Oh, and when they use you, physically and financially, it gets even more pathetic.

Do you ever think before dong 'it' with him, 'Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?'

You'd never know. And I'm sure you never even think that. If you make that move consciously, then maybe I'd spare you from cussing, but when you are drunk and high, seriously dude?

No. Just, no.

You give your Dad's hard-earned money to your Mr. Perfect just so he can spend all of it on some other bimbo behind you back?

Smart move, buddy.

And what's with true love and soul mate shit that keeps your dumbass conscience do amazingly wonderous things for your guy?

Seriously, no. Its stupid and wake before the coffee gets cold.

Back to the cheaters, what can I say about them. They are just so smart.

But their smartness shouldn't last long, make it a point.

There are so many ways you can catch a cheater. Just wake up your sleeping nostrils and smell for the signs.

~ He never gives you time. I don't think he'd need 24 hours in a day to attend to his not-so-sick granny.

~ Cyber-stalking him is not advisable, it gets pretty ugly. But if he is openly flirting with girls, they aren't the hoes here dearie, it's your own bastard.

~ He never lets you touch his phone. Goddamn woman, that's a neon sign in bold letters just inches away from your eyes.

~ This one is new and fab. Is he always stuck in traffic? I guess not. Smartphones have a app that merges your desired background noise(like car horns) along with your voice when you attend a call. If his phone has it, you'll know what to do.

~If he owns a car, the oldest sign in the book would be you having a chance finding a earring or buckle in his car.

~ He's phone is busy at 2 in the night? Oh, must be the telephone operator bugging him, right?

~ If all he wants to do is being physical, then no way in heck would he be loyal with you. Trust me.

~ If his pride is bigger than you, he won't propose. Been there, seen that. He has got a lots in his kitty, so he won't be wagging his tail around you.

~ 'Honey, I love you so much. Mind doing my chores so I could bang some chicks while you're gone'. Hah, nice. a free servant, who wouldn't want to be that?

~ A test? Tell him you don't love him in the most serious way. His reaction will be a proof how he's actually been all along. But you gotta persist and can always say you were joking later.

Sometimes, it would be you who would be driving him mad.

Wanna know how?  Well, here you go,

~ Over-possessive, the doubting machne.

'Where are you now? Where were you five minutes ago? Why did you say 'Hi' to your friend? Why do you have a friend that's a girl? Why did you take a taoilet break? Why didn't you call me 27 seconds ago? Were you talking to someone else at that time? Why did you bathe? Why did you poop? Why did you eat? Why did you breathe?

Grow up girl. That is just immature.

~ Cyber-stalking. In literal sense. Its so not cool unless you are keeping your regular tabs on him.

~ Clingy. Oh, how I hate those girls. He's not your life-support for God's sake. Don't be so clingy that he needs to run away from you in desperate need of some oxygen.

~ Give him space, not that much that you don't even know where he was for the past two months, but don't suffocate him as well.

~ Respect his family. He can't be circling around you during family time, that's just wrong.

~ Don't try to make it 'work' when he's painted his forehead with a permanent marker that he's not interested.

~ Don't greet him at his place uninvited with chips and roms-coms on a all-boys-poker night. Stupid much?

Whoa, okay so I guess I've lashed out on boys and girls and cheaters and clingy people and couples and boys and girls and humans in general.

Phew, I updated after ages. Who cares? Nobody reads this stuff anyway.

Valentine's Day is coming up. So that was a little gift to ya'll.

Nobody would be surprised if I found you outside my window with stones and a murderous look because I just had to give that gift to you. Ain't I really sweet like that?

Honestly I don't know what the fudgity fudge is all about. If you'd love someone, you'd love them and show them 365 days in a year, not only a day. Just saying.

So I pretty evilly (insert creepy smile here) convinced my sir to conduct a test on 14th of February. Don't think low of me, I'm lonely, okay?

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and even if you didn't I wouldn't know, would I?

Hm, maybe through a comment? But that's just a guess.

Ciao,

Kiara