The Rant Book

Wattpad Title Rant: Part 1

Dedicated to @amlamom23. Hope you like this! :D

*Contains rude remarks and blunt comments. Reward to those who has given Wattpad this crap. No apologies to anybody who thinks I over-blabbered.*

You have been warned. Now read on.

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What do you think makes a story readable from the first glance? Cover? No. Description? Maybe. Title? Yes.

Learn it from the dummy, but being a reader I can defy that most books I read were firstly judged by their titles.

Some tiltles of books on Wattpad are not only hilarious, but stupid as well. Some are long enough to cover the length of the story itself, while others contain spoilers. Why do you think people will read your story if you have mentioned all your plot in your title?

‘THE SCHOOL NERD IS FALLING FOR THE POPULAR JOCK.’ Yes, people. All in capital writing, as if we would read the book if the title was all over the page. There’s a nerd, there’s a jock. Jock is popular while the nerd is more beautiful than the school’s It girl. Both fall in love. Story ends.

‘I am living with eight uber hot guys. Did I mention they are all vampires?’ Girl, I don’t know what’s wrong with your head but normal people usually freak out at this sight. You should be worrying about when those ‘uber hot guys’ will rip you out and have you for dinner instead of worrying about things like, “Sexy vampire no. 1 loves me. But I am in love with sexier vampire no. 2! What am I gonna do?!?!?!” And no, honey, overusing punctuation marks isn’t going to make your situation any more realistic, interesting or remotely believable.

“He’s a SUPER SEXY JERK OF AN ALPHA! Did I mention I am his MATE?!’ Uh, no, you didn’t. And well, It was better that way. Now we know what’s going to happen (not that we care.) Newflash! Your so-called “twisted” Alpha love story just got even more cliché.

‘In love with my vampire teacher who’s super hot and who, might I add also made me PREGNANT!!!!!!’ Ouch! My eyes hurt. What on good God’s Earth are you talking? Firstly, it’s another “vampire love story.” Secondly, you added the “student-teacher” relationship part and to top it all off, we might as well get ready to welcome “half-vampire, half-human” babies in the world! Why Edward-Bella again? Why?

Here are some titles similar to one’s on Wattpad. I read such and made some up. I haven’t copied but you’ll find many, many like this.

*Kidnapped by my brother’s dead friend!*

*I am emo, he’s a jock. Did I mention we’re having arranged marriage?*

*I love my vampire of a best friend.*

*Stranded on an island with a vampire and a were wolf.*

*I found my soulmate. Did I mention he killed my family?*

*Mr, Player’s heart. Broken by me, the bad girl.*

*Only girl in an all boys vampire boarding school!*

*He’s a jerk and a vampire. Did I mention I am his true love?*

*Surrounded by hot guys all around. Oh, and did I mention I am a nerd?*

*Falling for the new guy whose blind, sexy, hot, and an Alpha.*

*Sixteen and pregnant. Did I mention the father’s a cheating vampire?*

*In love with the hottest jerk who raped me!*

*He’s a bad boy, and an assassin and my mate?*

*Sold to a player. Did I mention he’s a demon?*

*My vampire crush wants to be my boyfriend. Did I mention FAKE?*

*Almost got killed by a werewolf. Too bad he’s my mate.*

*He saved my life, I love him. Did I mention he’s my step-brother?*

*Two insanely hot guys are fighting over me. Too bad I am already taken by a vampire.*

*Love my brother’s hot enemies who kidnapped me.*

*Stuck with a celebrity. Did I mention I hate him?*

*Slave to a hot guy. Did I mention he’s gay?*

Okay, I’m stopping over here. I can’t write more of those. Wow, I didn’t knew reading titles could give you a headache. I can’t even begin to describe the stupidity of these titles, let alone the content inside it. I swear I had to rummage my shelves for an Aspirin after trying (keyword: trying) to read such books.

I don’t know if I am being rude here but just type in “Did I mention" in search bar on Wattpad and see the magic. Weirdest to stupidest book titles and ideas, you’ll see it all!

Oh, and can we have the applause for the most ravishing titles of the decade compiled in, “My nerd of a best friend is a vampire who I fell in love with, but he happened to kidnap me and my werewolf teacher saved me so I ran into the woods, living with hot guys and went to an all-boys school where I fell for the jerk who was a badass assassin that killed my parents who sold me off to a demon who happened to be my brother’s best friend who is the father of my baby and I’m only sixteen and the biggest geek who drowned but got saved by the player who became my fake boyfriend but loved me and I loved the new guy who was blind and could shoot an arrow perfectly and killed my mate who was an Alpha… ^continued title^

Gosh! I feel like I’m torturing my readers! I’m venting out more frequently these days.

So if you got entertained by the above nonsense, there’s another part to it. It’s the content inside these stories, the language, grammar, non-existent plot with all kinds of creatures. Watch for it.

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Pretty please! Tell me what you think!

Vote, Comment and Fan!!!

Peace out,

Kiara