The Rant Book

Wattpad- What has happened to you?

Wattpad rant- Cliché and flaws.

A few months back when I installed the ‘Wattpad’ app on my phone I enjoyed the stories where the nerdy girl falls in love with the jerk or the jock or the term that has lost all its potential meaning, ‘player’. But as I came across more stories,I started getting bored of the same plot and predictable climax. I realized all are following the same cliché pattern. The lead characters will always get together tag-lining their “happily ever after”. Aww! So cute! NOT!

Some stories are really good even though a cliché because the essence of writing makes it readable. However, when you keep on addressing the same old plotline, it won’t really help to hook your writers on. How is it that the guy who hasn’t even noticed the girl before takes sudden interest in her? Or the so-called player doesn’t have those cheerleading types to play? I’ll come to that later.

The characters are portrayed flawless. The girl has the curves and the looks when described by the guy’s POV but is still labeled ‘nerd’? You can’t be looking like an Italian model and still have people at your school bully you for being ‘ugly’. Or the girl is really pretty and knows it but still hasn’t dated anybody. Yet. Waiting for Channing Tatum, are we? Coming to the guy, well, all the time he happens to look like an ‘Abercrombie & Fitch’ model, that too in high school! Ah! If only such schools with those boys existed. What I’d give to go there! Alas! In reality, this is not the scenario.

Player. I am sure many of you (like me) used to think of those stories as thrills where the player turns into some love-sick puppy by the girl’s charms. Poor me! Used to think it was all true. Well, reality check time. It isn’t. And it’s not like there are many players out there to fill in all the lists on Wattpad’s ‘Teen Fiction’ category. Do really know how he thinks? Is it always that he thinks that the girl is something to eat? And I am not talking about those bizarre creatures who Stephenie Meyer has made us way too familiar with, it’s like the girl is always made to be seen as the lustful object. I’ve come across so many stories with this plot that I feel no other love stories are left to ponder upon. But I might add, that some writers are capable of portraying these stories really well. The one I liked on Wattpad was “Enjoying The Chase” by kirsty1000.

Vampires and Warewolf. Welcome to the world of bizarre creatures fellas! Er, Wattpaders! The amount of vampire and warewolf stories is maddening. They even have a separate category for such stories! How is it fun to read about a blood-sucking creature who fell in love with a human when half of his energy is wasted on controlling himself from eating his love? Well, it might be something new but haven’t Stephenie Meyer already completed that topic in her 5 book series? Ring any bells? So what’s the point of thrusting the same old vampire stories upon Wattpad? Whatever happened to humanity (pun intended) ?

If the amount of warewolves we have in these stories that are amongst humans really existed, I wonder how our lives would have been! Maybe the term ‘cat-fight’ would be named ‘wolf-fight’ and you’d actually use claws! Fascinating much? I think not. And all those Alpha love who is actually a hot jackass in real life being your ‘mate’? Can it get more fictional?

Happy Endings. We all love them. But all along happy story where the smile on the character’s faces never falters off? It gets boring, because for all you know, nothing bad will happen to the lead no matter what. The more the characters are tortured mentally, the more I like it. *evil laugh*.

Best friend’s brother or Brother’s best friend? I am not even going to waste my energy on those.

Talking from my experience dearies, celebs are never going to be that civil to you when you meet them. You are some ordinary fan, they don’t pay that much of attention to you. So no point in misleading the readers. Like that will ever happen!

Student-teacher relationships. Eww! That’s not only gross, but also illegal. And is it really possible to find a teacher who looks like an underwear or runway model? Last time I checked, all we get is a middle-aged man with a fat belly or an old lady with hairy upper lips. Like fooling around with those?

The creepiest of all is the mushy stuff. God! Why oh why?! Some cute kissing, cuddling and cozying scenes are alright to bear with. But providing a page-long info on how two people are shoving their tongues down each other’s throats is not considered cute! It might even result puke-inducing for readers like me. Not to mention, when those people ‘do it’ the whole process is mentioned with minute details. It’s all said to be heavenly, amazing, indescribable, painfully amazing and those aren’t my words.

Since I’ve already blabbered too much on what I don’t like, I might as well add things I’d like to read.

Reality. Maybe readers read such fictional stories because it’s their escapade to an unreal world, but atleast be kind enough to not go too far away with it. A normal looking girl and guy can also fall in love. They don’t have to look like God or Godesses. And writers, Emo people do have hearts.

Originality-It doesn’t always have to be about jerks and playboys or nerds and geeks. Even nice guys exist! (somewhere) So giving your storyline a unusual plot away from the cliché won’t be harmful. Fun lies in taking risks.

Warning- Please warn the readers in some way when you are going to show adult stuff, because rating PG-13 alone won’t help. There are users out there as young as 11. So posting seperately can be an even better option.

Writing- Sms lingo doesn’t work, neither does leaving your sentences punctuation-less. We are no Paul Coelho or Dan brown, just mere teenagers, I know, so spelling and grammatical mistakes are bound to happen. But not to the point where the reader forgets the story and instead starts counting the number of mistakes. We don’t want that now, do we?

Lastly, to writers on Wattpad (if any are even reading this rant), please don’t leave you readers hanging by not updating for months. We know you have a life outside of Wattpad, but keep your promises. Nobody likes to get hanged to incomplete stories.

That’s it for the rant for this time. No offence to anyone out there. It’s a rant so you can’t expect me to be all praises and no complaints. I love writing and might write a story in future so maybe it’s just me reminding myself things I will NOT put in my story and those that I WILL. ;)

Phew, long rant. Care to vote, fan or comment? *puppy dog face* It means a lot to me and It’ll also help me to know what you think about this book.

5 comments please?

P.S. Dedicated to my fellow Wattpader @zayner4ever. Thank you.

Till then,

Apples and bananas (too healthy? :p ),

Kiara