TGED One-shots

is it really that hard?

Pining idiots because I said so. (I also posted this on ao3, so don't get confused^^)

Javier was confused about his feelings most of the time because they didn't make any sense for him.

After the sudden change of personality Lloyd had, Javier started to think a little bit better of him. But why would or should he? Lloyd was still an arrogant, selfish man with goals that where hard for others to understand, so why did Javier feel safe around him?

It was on nights like these, where Javier would question it the most. When Lloyd talks about his engineering stuff to help Javier with his insomnia and he falls asleep on his chair to the soothing voice of the young master.

Or nights where Lloyd offers Javier to sleep in his bed to be more comfortable and he wakes up seeing the other way too close to him.

He would lay in bed and hope the other won't wake up and catch him staring and admiring the relaxed sleeping face in front of him. Will Lloyd ever be as relaxed as he is when he is asleep?

Is it normal for a knight to feel an odd tingling in his chest when his master smiles at him with his genuine grin, or when he sees the proud look he has after they accomplished something?
It is certainly something he hasn't felt before and he wants to know more about the other.

What secrets does Lloyd hide and how could he drastically change over night?

He didn't know and he didn't want to know. He didn't want to face what it might be, because he wanted to keep doing what they had now. It wasn't something he wanted to risk even if it wasn't the real Lloyd.

---

Lloyd Frontera. A bad person through and through. The son of the baron and he can't even do anything noble like.

Someone who drinks every day and night, throws money out of the window, gets into fights and... is lonely.

That's what he was before Kim Suho got reincarnated into his body and changed his life.

What is Lloyd now? Still someone who has an annoying personality.

That's what Suho thought and he was proud of it. If you ask his workers they would say something completely different.

They would describe him as a loyal person who keeps his promises and makes sure every single one of them survives the day.
He is a person who looks after his workers even if it's in a strange way, as in claiming to only do it for the money.

But Lloyd is a liar. He isn't even Lloyd Frontera, but only he himself knows that.
Kim Suho hates to lie, but if he fails to keep his secret, he might get beheaded for it.

He noticed his knight taking a liking to him due to the system and also his observant nature, but no matter how much he likes him back, he can't accept those feelings.

This is not his life and he could not lie to Javier. He wouldn't risk him hating him after finding out... in case he even believes it.

The fear lingers, that the real Lloyd returns and Javier is left with him and everyone depends on his engineering knowledge, what real Lloyd obviously doesn't has, but who is he to admin that fear.

On some nights, his selfishness takes over and he asks Javier to lay in bed with him.
He uses the lame excuse, "So you don't have to sleep on that uncomfortable chair", but there is no doubt something more behind that.

He would stay awake for a little longer to look at the sleeping beauty next to him and holding back the urge to cup the others face to feel the soft looking cheeks.

He hated the aching feeling in his chest, when he woke up next to an empty spot, where Javier was supposed to sleep. Damn knights and their morning training.

With the nosy nature Suho had, he had to dig a bit in the history books and old newspapers of the country.

Noble ladies falling in love with their knights was strictly forbidden and would be punished severely.
So what would the world think if a noble man has feelings for his knight? The scandal of the century, they would call it and execute him. Or they would take Javier far away from him, what pains Lloyd while only thinking about it.

---

Bickering, teasing, fighting, that's what Lloyd and Javier do most of the time they are together.

The workers and even the Baron and Baroness knew it was a routine for them to start and end their day with that.

What they don't know is the soft, calm, caring times they spend away from other people. It's the gentle words and occasional longing glaces they give eachother.

When Lloyd works, Javier would stand somewhere behind him and watch him with a light smile only a few people have seen.

When Javier trains, Lloyd would sit at the side and act like he reads a book, but would secretly admire the other from afar with heart eyes.

Both of them are hopelessly in love and hide it well. They have their own reasons not to act on those feelings and long for the other in the distance.

It is something so simple and at the same time so hard, that would make the longing end, but would it be worth it? Is it really that hard?