Hard to love

Chapter 7

ELLIES POV:

I check the time as I wake up and it's 6:30am. I get up and get ready for class. We've been on summer break, but this Is my last year in college. I have no clue what my plans are after college besides getting a job and moving out of my parent's house.

I put on a nice outfit for my first day back and grab all of my books.

I head out the door and go straight to campus.

As I pull in, I take a moment to just look at the building.

I can't believe I'm going to graduate this year. I've finished all of my other courses, so I only have one class, three times a week. It just so happens to be my favorite class. English literature.

I take a deep breath and walk to my class.

I get there and the whole class is already full. I pick a seat in the front row to see and hear better.

The professor comes in and smiles at us all.

"Welcome back everybody. For some of you, this is you're last year in college, so I have sheets of paper of companies offering paid internships with me today. Just grab a few when class is over and if you have any questions, let me know" he says.

Dammit I haven't even thought about an internship. I should take a look at them.

When class is over, I skim through the different companies and find a few but one sticks out to me.

Hart publishing company in New York.

New York is beautiful and I'd love to go. I grab the information paper and take it with me.

Now that class is over, I call Jackson.

"Hey. Are we still meeting?"

"Yes, I found a restaurant. I'll send you the address" he says.

"Ok I'll see you there"

I put my phone away and make my way to my car and head to the restaurant.

I walk in and Jackson is already seated.

I walk over and sit with him.

"Hey. Are you ok?"

"Yes. Just worried about my mom" he says with a frown.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. Is there anything I can do?"

"No thank you for asking though" he says.

The waiter walks over.

"Are you two ready to order" he asks.

Jackson says nothing.

"Just two burgers please" I say ordering for us both.

I give him a worried stare.

"Jackson" I say holding his hand.

He pulls his hand away and just stared sadly.

"We can go if you want"

"No, it's fine" he says.

"Are you sure? We don't have to sta- "

"Ellie please stop. I said it's fine" he says raising his voice a bit.

"Ok. I'm sorry"

Our food comes out and we eat without saying anything to each other.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yea" he says standing up from the table.

We walk outside and he walks me to my car.

"I'll see you later" he says and goes to walk away.

"Wait"

He turns around to look at me.

"I know you're going through a lot but please don't push me away. I want to be here for you"

"I'm not pushing you away" he says.

"Yes, you are. You've hardly talked to me"

"That doesn't mean I'm fucking pushing you away. It just means I don't want to talk" he says raising his voice.

"Ok. Sorry" I say and get in my car.

Jackson doesn't give me a kiss or say bye. He just walks away.

I head home and take a shower.

When I get out of the shower, I look at the paper for Hart publishing company and get online.

I fill out an application for the paid internship. Thankfully, they can do an interview over the phone with me. I'll talk to the chancellor tomorrow about sending my information over to them.

What if I really can go to New York. That will be a dream.

I feel myself getting really excited about it.

I lay in bed and close my eyes and before I know it, I've dozed off into a deep sleep.