The new beginning

Chapter 13

Ada

"Ada, don't go too far away." "Tamam, baba." "Don't be so hard on her. She knows this place and there is also Bora with her." I was standing on the blanket while hearing my parents talking. "Ada, come on!" Bora yelled from the other side of the park. "I'm coming!" "Don't get lost. Bora, if something happens to my daughter, then- Ahhhh. Hande ne yapıyorsun?" "Nothing just squeezing you to shut up." I laughed and started running towards Bora. "Bora."

"Bora!" "Shhh, baby, I am here. Diana, can I have a glass of water?" "Sure." I saw her walking away. I looked around and saw my father standing by the window looking out into the deep night, lost in his thoughts. And my ex. He was looking at me with concern in his eyes. My ex is my stepbrother? But how can this happen? Ewww. I was with my stepbrother. I fell in love with my stepbrother. But fortunately, we didn't sleep together during the time we were together. By the way, I made the best decision of my life.

I looked at Bora, who was holding my hand and saying something to me that I couldn't understand. The reason was that I was drowning in my memories right now, and I somehow couldn't get out of it. "Bora... help me. Please," I whispered, and then I felt tears building up again. "Baby, don't cry-" "Bora here is the water." "Thanks." He took it and gave it to me. "Drink a little."

I hate showing my weak side in front of anyone. I'm always this person who can slip into a happy and strong role in front of someone because I don't want them to see how broken I really am on the inside. But now it's all crashed down on me. My wall that I built crashed.

"Ada, are you okay?" Diana asked. I need to pull myself together. I don't think she knows who I am, and I want it to stay that way. Stop crying. You were supposed to be strong. "Yeah. I don't know what happened, but I'm fine." I smiled at her. "Do you need anything?" "No thanks, Diana." "I think we should go," Bora said. "But the food," Diana said sadly. I want to show my father and ex, or stepbrother, or whatever, that they don't have any influence on me and that they don't mean anything to me. It's late, Ada. You've already broken down. I don't think you can show them otherwise. I can and I will. "Bora, she is right. We should at least eat something. She prepared so much for us." "Are you sure?" I nodded. "Alright then, come on," Diana said. "I will come, but first I should clean my face. Where is the toilet?"

I looked into the reflection of myself in the mirror. Sakin ol kız. Yapabilirsin. Sen güçlüsün. Ağlama. There you go. You can do that. Show them how strong you are. It's all in the past. I opened the door. Here goes nothing, bismillah. I saw Bora standing outside, waiting for me.

He saw me and came to me. "Ada, are you really alright?" "I need to be alright." "No, you don't. It's alright to feel sad." "Not right now. He left me when I was a child, and right now, I just feel anger and sadness in me, but the anger is taking over and I need to show him that he doesn't mean anything to me. I want to stay." "Are you sure?" "Yes, aşkım." "Tamam." He kissed me on my temple. He put his hand on my lower back and we started walking towards the dining room. They were all already sitting there. Yes, all of them, including my father and ex. I couldn't tell him right now about my ex. I will tell him later, but I hope he doesn't get mad at me for not telling him earlier.

Bora's hand was either on my thigh or on my hand on the table while eating. He is so cute. He supports me and is always there for me, and I appreciate that.

"So, Bora and Ada. If I may ask you, how did you two come together?" Diana asked while cutting the meat on her plate. "We were friends in childhood, but somehow our ways parted, and after 14 years, he helped me come out of the sea after I fell into it accidentally. There we felt an electricity between us and something familiar in each other. Then I didn't know that it was Bora, my friend from childhood, nor did he." I stopped and looked at my father, then at my ex. I saw my ex squeezing the knife in his hand. It's great that it's working.Now I have to go up one more level. I looked at Bora and smiled at him.

I took Bora's hand and said: "You know, fate brought us together and we fell in love without knowing we were once friends. Every morning I say to myself, good that fate brought us back together." I looked at Bora, who was already looking at me with love in his eyes. "You had to see how she acted when we first met or when I was eating at her restaurant. I fell instantly in love with her when I saw her. I saw the fire in her eyes, and it brought me back to life. She is my breath, and without her I feel like I will die. It was love at first sight, and I am glad to have fallen in love with this beauty." He kissed the back of my hand. "Oh, that's so sweet. Did you hear it Hasan?" My father's name. I almost forgot what his name was. "Hmm." "You know, Hasan and I have a very long story. And it's not a beautiful story. It's full of secrets. It was a dark love that had to stay in the dark."

I know that. A forbidden love.A love that destroyed a family. A love that destroyed his daughter's life. I wonder if she knew then that he had a family?

"Diana don't start with our past. I don't think they want to know about our boring story," Hasan said. "It's not boring, but okay, I will leave it. But I would like to tell you about my son, Kaan." "Mom, don't start, please." "He is like my son. I lost my son..." She drifted off and looked into the deep night. "But Hasan was there for me. I said, we had a dark past, a dark story." Now that's getting interesting. I need to know what happened to her son. Then Kaan is not blood-related to her?

"You know, I had a very terrible past." So, you had to destroy mine too? You needed to destroy my father's family too?

I was wrong because she said something unbelievable. "Kaan and my son, whose face I can't remember anymore. And I can tell you that's the worst thing that can happen to a person. What would my son be thinking right now? That I forget his face? What should I tell him on the other side? Ahhh." I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked up, as if she felt her son looking down at her, and said: "I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" I felt bad for her. I can't imagine this happening to me. That must be very hard, and I can imagine how she hates herself for forgetting her son's face. "Mother...," Kaan said. "I have to tell someone. I have to. I trust them."

I saw how he looked at her with pain in his eyes. She wasn't like that before. Where is my anger? Where did you fly? Do you want to come back? I think, my father makes her happy, and I'm glad because she deserves to be happy. No matter that she destroyed our family, hers was as broken as mine. But still, I wonder if she knew that he had a wife and a daughter.

I'm angry about my father. He could've made a proper goodbye. He could've at least spoken with us. He could've... But when I now look at him, I see the love in his eyes for this woman. The kind of love I never saw in his eyes when he was with my mother. This love didn't burn down. It was still there.

My parents didn't have a good relationship with each other. There was always fighting, verbal meaning, in our house. The years flew by, as did their love. But I'm still mad at him for leaving us. For leaving a 14-year-old child without a father.

"They were playing outside, while Hasan and I were cooking in the kitchen in our summer house. Then Kaan came running to me, screaming, "Mom, he is dead."" She laughed while tears were rolling down her cheeks. Tears of sadness. Tears of a broken heart. "You know, he always called me mom. I allowed him that. We weren't blood-related, but he was always with us, and I saw him as my own child. One day, if you want, you can tell them your story, Kaan. But I won't tell them. Maybe you don't want me to." She looked at him and smiled. "He is the only memory I have left. I love him like my own child." She looked again at us. "Anyway, he came to me saying that my son fell into the fountain and was bleeding." "Diana you don't have to remember-" "Hasan is right, Diana. It's painful and I don't want you to remember that. There are things that are painful, and therefore, they'd better stay on the dark side of our lives." I interrupted.

She came back to her senses and whipped away her tears. "You're right. I'm sorry for my breakdown, but sometimes I need to tell someone. I may have bored you." "No don't be sorry. It happens. The past is always hunting us while we're running. It's good to tell someone, but it can hurt us very much." "You are right, Ada."

We were standing at the door saying goodbye. "I am so glad you came tonight. And again, I am sorry for boring you with my story." I feel bad. She isn't as bad as I thought. On the contrary, she has a very sad story like me. Like all of us. But we can hide it and walk through the day as if nothing had broken us in the past. We human beings are best at playing roles. We can hide everything, but sometimes even the best actor or actress can fall apart and the whole world crashes down, and that happened tonight to Diana and me.

Fortunately, no one spoke about my breakdown.

"Thanks for everything. The food was very delicious. I really look forward to working with you," I said. I have nothing against her, it's my father who is making me sad, angry, lonely- "Thanks," Bora said. I looked at my father. He had regret in his eyes.

It's very magical what the eyes can tell. Just by the eyes of a person, you can tell what they are feeling. I once heard that the eyes reflect what the heart feels, and that's right. I nodded at him and smiled. I needed to act normal.

Then I looked at my ex. I am so happy about not sleeping with you. Fortunately, I saw how you cheated on me. But I gave you a second chance, but you just couldn't stop. I am so happy about breaking up with you because, thanks to the breakup, I met the love of my life.

We were sitting on the sofa in my apartment. "Ada, what happened tonight?" Selin asked. I didn't say anything, so Bora answered the question. "She saw her father and his son and fainted." It wasn't just his son, it was my ex, but he doesn't know it. But I should tell him.

Selin looked at me, shocked. Her mouth was wide open. "Ada, is that real? And he has a son?"
"Yes, it is and it's not his son, I mean, they call him son and he calls them mom and dad. But that's not important here. There is something more important I need to tell you." I looked down at my hands and didn't know how to start. "Alright. He was my ex. Selin, you know him from the stories I told you. Kaan, does there ring any bells?" "Yok artık!" "What?" Bora said, in disbelief. "You dated your stepbrother?" I laughed. I laughed really hard. My nerves broke down. "It sounds even weirder if you say it. I'm a lost case. And yes, I dated him, but you heard what Diana said." "One question-" "No Bora, she didn't sleep with him, if that was your question. Ada, now tell me how come this bastard is your father's son?"

I told her the story of Diana, and she couldn't believe it. Yep, sister, there are people in worse condition than me.

"Ada, would you mind telling me a little about your past with Kaan? Because of how Selin talked about him and how you reacted when we first met, you didn't make good memories with him." Bora asked. "You are absolutely right, and I should tell you about Kaan."

He needed to know. And now that Kaan is like the son of my father, he indeed needs to know. I decided to explain to him my past with Kaan.

"It was four years ago. I was working on my master's. I was in the library and was looking for books. I was carrying a lot of books and it was difficult to see to the front, and then I ran into him.I know it's a cliché. It only happens in movies and series, but no, it happened to me too. At that moment, when I saw him, I thought it was love at first sight, but I hadn't seen the right one so I couldn't tell what love at first sight was." I looked at Bora and walked towards him. I sat down on his lap and hugged him. "Thank you," I whispered in his ear.

"My books fell all over the place, and he helped me pick them up. We looked at each other and it was as if the world around us had stopped. He was studying architecture. I won't go too much into the details. After one month, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. I wanted things to go slowly, so I didn't let him sleep with me. We just cuddled or kissed. One night, I don't remember how it happened, but we went to a bar and he had a few drinks too many, and he began to say weird things. He said, for example, that no one wants him and that he is completely alone and that I am the only good thing in his life."

I only noticed it now. I felt guilty. I didn't think anything about it as I was with him. I thought that he was from a rich family, and he owned everything he wanted. I'm so stupid. I should've asked him what he was trying to say. He was traumatized by the death of his friend, and God knows what his parents did to him.

"Only now do I understand what he meant by that..." Did I do wrong to him? "He said he wanted to go to the bathroom. Time passed and he did not come back. I was worried because I thought he fainted in the toilet from too much alcohol. I went to the men's toilet, and there I saw him with another girl. Didn't he say that I was the only good thing in his life? Then why would he want to destroy the good things in his life? Was he that desperate?"

Bora made circles with his index finger on my thigh, and it tickled, but it also felt good. "He saw me and immediately pulled his pants up and ran after me. I knew then that I couldn't trust anyone anymore. He apologized to me a thousand times. He even slept in front of my apartment door, and he sent me flowers every day and wrote me thousands of love poems. At some point, I felt sorry for him, and I still loved him despite the thing he did. So, I gave him a second chance, but I never let him kiss me again, and he still wasn't allowed to sleep with me. He had to gain my trust back. But what did he do? He cheated on me again, and I gave up. I broke up with him. My heart was shattered into a million pieces, and there was my mother, helping me get through this depression, and then she left, and I completely lost it. I didn't even get to meet his parents because he didn't tell them he had a girlfriend." Do I mean his biological parents or his second parents? I don't know, but he didn't tell them.

A tear. Just one tear. Why? Why are people so rude? "You know what he said? He said he did right by cheating on me because we didn't sleep together. I just wanted things to go slow because I wasn't sure if I wanted to sleep with him and then he cheated. Sleeping with someone is something special to me. For him, it was just for making fun and it was just to live out his lust. For me, it's a connection between two people who are madly in love with each other. That makes things even more magical. I give myself time to figure things out, and when I feel the connection, I give myself in. Plus, if I am sure. But with him, I didn't feel the right connection, but I still loved him, and I still don't know the reason."

I looked at Bora, who had a weak smile on his face. "I love you," he said, and then I realized what I said. I felt shy. I buried my face in the crock of his neck and hugged him. "Okay, I think it's time for me to leave you two lovebirds alone. I'm at the bar, Ada. I won't be back until noon tomorrow. Feel free to do everything," Selin said, winking at us. I took a pillow and threw it at her.

"Thank you for telling me." I kissed him with passion, with love, with lust, with desire, with every kind of feeling a person can feel. He was surprised at first that I could kiss in these ways, but he loved it and gave himself in.

I was woken up by the ringing of my phone. An unknown number. Who could that be? "Ada, who is it?" "I don't know if it's an unknown number." I picked it up. "Hello." I put it on speaker so Bora could hear it too. There was silence, but I could hear the breathing. "Hello," I said again.

"Ada..." Oh... I looked at Bora, whose eyes were about to pop out. "Yes, who are you?" "I know you know me by the voice." "No, who is there?" I know exactly who it is. "Okay then I will play along. I'm Hasan." "Where did you get my number from?" "Diana."

"What do you want?" "I... I..." "Did you swallow your tongue?" "I want to talk to you about some things." "About what?" "Not on the phone. Can we talk in person?" "Why do you even want to talk to me?" "There are things you need to know." "I know everything. You left us with your bitch 14 years ago. I lost everything and you got what you wanted." "Ada, please... You don't know anything. There are things you understood wrong."

"Ada, meet with him and see what he has to say. After that, you can still walk away or stay," Bora whispered in my ear. "Should I?" "You have nothing to lose. I will be by your side if you want." "Where do you want to meet and when?" "Is today at the sea, okay?" "Yes." I put the phone away without saying goodbye.

Why does he want to meet? "Bora I am on the edge of breaking. What is this? I was happy without knowing he was in the city, and now everything... I can't take it anymore. He reminds me of my sad past. I wanted to forget my past and leave it behind, but it's rushing past me and is facing me right now. Yesterday I didn't want to talk about him, but-" "I will be with you. I won't leave you. Everything will pass, and there are good days awaiting us at the end of this dark tunnel." "Aren't you mad at him?" I asked. "I am, but I need to be strong so I can support you. What kind of boyfriend would I be to leave you like that and fall into my own anger about him?"

Author's note:
Here we go with the drama. We are just getting started. It will go deeper. We will get more flashbacks that will clear the sight.

What do you want to happen in this story? Write your thoughts/ideas in the comments.

Will Hasan tell the truth?

Will they again be father and daughter?

And what happened to Kaan?

I thank you all for the reads. I love you all.

I don't know if I will be able to post the next chapter on Tuesday, but I will try. I don't promise anything. Stay safe

Twitter acc: Supergirl2021_