The new beginning

Chapter 14

Ada

Here I am holding Bora's hand. "Do you see him?" he asked me. I looked around and saw him sitting alone on a bench by the sea. I nodded towards Hasan. "There he is." "Let's go." "Bora-" "Canim bak, biz ne konuştuk? We will listen to what he has to say, and I will be by your side."

He is right. I should chill. I need to hear what he has to say. Maybe what he says will change the whole thing and I can finally hug my- I mean Hasan. And forget about everything he'd done. I really need that. I need to believe that he had a very good reason. I need a family.

I didn't even notice that we were walking towards Hasan until I saw his face in front of me. "Ada?" He said my name. Hasan said my name in exactly the same tone as when he called me when I was a child. This innocent, sweet voice. I missed it. But I must not fall into the trap.

I have to give him the cold shoulder. He must understand that I am not the same anymore. Maybe I am the old Ada, but I don't show it to anyone. It may only come out when my past is in front of me. But I must not allow myself to fall into it, I must not let the old Ada win.

Bora nudged me with his elbow, and that brought me out of my thoughts. "Hasan," I said coldly. "I hope you don't mind if I have my boyfriend with me. After all, he was there when I got the biggest pain of my life. He also has a right to know what has happened." I didn't want to tell him that I brought Bora for moral support. I didn't want to tell him that he was looking out for me in case I got a panic attack. He didn't deserve it.

"No, no problem," Hasan said. "Shall we sit down?" asked Bora.

We sat down. I sat in the middle, and slowly, my anger came forward. Bora noticed it, of course, and put his hand on my leg. That calmed me down a bit. I looked at Bora and squeezed my eyes shut as a thank you. 

"Do you want to start already? I don't have that much time," I started to say. "Okay then, let's get down to business." I put my hand on Bora's hand that was on my leg and squeezed it. "It can be a bit hard, but I can't hide it anymore. I need to say it, and I'm already sorry for making you sad with this story." What is he talking about? Just start.

"You know, things didn't go smoothly between your mother and me. We fought a lot, but you didn't get a lot of it. We didn't want to cause you grief. You know, we were discussing for a long time whether we wanted to divorce, but then we always thought about you and didn't want to do that to you.

Two days before you received the letter from the lawyer, I came home late. Your mother was sitting on the bed waiting. I opened the door and saw that she was in tears. I asked her what was wrong, of course, and she got up and attacked me.

She grabbed me by the collar and spat at me. I can remember exactly what she said. She said, "Hasan, you dirty piece of shit. Why did you do this to me? I want a divorce." She said that I was with my mistress, but that wasn't the case. I was drinking with the guys. I just wanted to forget everything. I loved your mother, but she did things that made me lose my last drop of love for her. She always thought I had cheated on her, but I would've never done that. I would never do that to a woman.

That evening, she said that in a week we would have an appointment with the lawyer to get a divorce. I didn't even know that. I was shocked that she had already planned everything without saying anything to me. She wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible. I knew she was going to take all the money from me and do something stupid with it. So I took all the money and donated it. I didn't take the money for myself.

I wrote you this letter, and please don't wonder how I could take all the money. I'll just say one thing: it was complicated. I wanted you to have a reason to hate me. That's why I invented this with the mistress, because it was the only thing that your mother believed. As you may have seen, she believed it. A few days after the letter, I sat on the bus and met Diana there. But I fell in love with her, but our love had to be in the dark, but that's not the matter now. We founded "The North Face" together and, of course, got married."