sin and sawdust

22

"Guns, guns and oh wait, more guns,"

The grin on Simon face threatened to split his head in half it was so wide but he was right. There were guns piled into the room he led them to. Along with food, medicine, ammo, books, clothes.

Eve breathed an audible sigh of relief, she'd been afraid that the trip would be a bust and she'd be back to the kitchen within the day. However, this trip had now brought with a new problem, she'd managed to piss Negan off and she didn't know how to rectify it. He was still stomping around the place, face like thunder snapping at everyone and the tension in the room was palpable. It didn't go unnoticed by Simon who was shooting Eve sly glances with a smirk or Laura who was doing her level best to avoid both her and Negan.

"Get it loaded," he snapped, making poor Laura jump, sending her scurrying towards the door with an armful of medical supplies.

Eve rolled her eyes and followed Laura out of the door.

"What the fuck happened? What did you do?" Laura hissed at Eve, "Last time I saw him this mad ..." she trailed off and shuddered.

"I dared to talk back," Eve was pissed too, Negan had no right to be so fucking mad at her for voicing a concern, granted she could have worded it better but still.

"Make it better, fast," Laura warned and stalked back into the building to grab more supplies.

Eve followed her back in and started going through one the cells that had been made into a fairly cosy looking rooms, piling anything useful just outside the doors. She reached the last in the row and stopped dead. There were crossbow arrows placed on top of a small table and Eve's heart lurched into her throat. They had to be his. She stepped into the cell carefully and picked up a familiar shirt that was laid out on the bed and she choked back a small, sad laugh. Daryl had lived in this shirt, sleeves removed and Eve had teased him relentlessly for it. She'd give anything to see him in it now. She ran her fingers over the fabric and placed it back on the bed.

"Ahem."

A small cough behind her made her jump and she whirled round to face Simon who was eyeing her with interest.

"Whatcha got there?" He peered past her into the cell.

"Nothing important, just some old clothes and a few arrows," she shrugged,

"Hmmm," Simon made a noise in this throat and moved on.

Eve left the cell, pulling the tatty sheet back across the door and scooped up a pile of items to take to the vans, without a backwards glance.

The group spent an hour or so trailing back and forth from the vans loading away their new found treasures and Negan's black mood did not let up at all.

Eve hung around the van as the crew finished up, trying to avoid Negan as best she could which made her heart sink all the more when his voice boomed behind her,

"You, with me,"

He swung himself into the drivers side of the cab and placed Lucille gently on the seat beside him, eyes forward not wavering from the view in front of him.

Laura gave Eve a half hearted wave and jumped into the other van while the men they had with them cramped themselves in the back and took off down the path that led out of the prison.

Eve straightened her shoulders and pulled herself gracefully into the front seat with Negan, very careful not to nudge or even sit too close to Lucille.

The drive was silent but she could feel the burning anger radiating from Negan like a flame. She was stuck between wanting to apologise and her natural disposition of being just as much of a stubborn asshole as he was being. The air was thick with tension and it needed cutting but it was clear neither would give an inch to do so.

"You really pissed me off, doll,"

Negan's voice was soft yet the undercurrent of danger hadn't quite passed.

Eve stared out of the passenger window, watching the trees race past her eyeline as she chewed over her reply.

"I'm grateful," she replied, simply.

"Damn fucking right, you should be," he shot back, a lighter lilt to his tone creeping in,

"I'm just used to being alone," Eve sighed, "I felt railroaded into being at the Sanctuary, thankful but trapped."

Negan sighed in reply,

"You'd rather be dead? Cause that's where you were fucking headed,"

"I know," Eve's voice was a whisper, "I don't know if that would have been a bad thing,"

Negan shot her an incredulous look,

"Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how lucky we are? To have survived so long in this shit show?"

"I've lost too much, too many people I loved and who loved me,"

"Darling, we've all lost. Every single fucking one of us and guess what? It ain't gonna stop. We're gonna lose people we care about over and over and over again and every time, it will feel like the fucking first one. But we keep going, cause life is a goddamn gift,"

Eve's jaw dropped. She hadn't expected such bluntness from Negan  his candour was a surprise. It wasn't altogether unpleasant, just, weird.

"You cannot just shut down," he continued, "You think they wanted that? For you to want to die? No!" He slapped his hand in the steering wheel, "Live! Fucking live and do it with freedom and happiness. Fuck only knows you could do with cheering the fuck up once in a while,"

Eve gasped and burst into laughter,

"You saying I'm miserable?" She chuckled,

"The most miserable fucking woman in the apocalypse," Negan grinned, "Get your ass jolly or you're fired,"

"Yes Sir," Eve mock saluted him and they fell into a comfortable silence, which didn't last long now Negan was back on his large and in charge feet.

"So who was it? Boyfriend?"

Eve shook her head,

"Oooh, girlfriend?"

Eve laughed and slapped him playfully on the arm,

"No," she replied.

"That it? Not gonna elaborate?"

"No, I'd rather not talk about it,"

"Kay,"

The drove a little further on and Eve could practically count down to when he would speak again, the man wouldn't, couldn't, shut up.

"My wife..." he started to speak,

"Oh my fucking God!" Eve yelled and Negan slammed the brakes on sending them both lurching forward.

Eve turned to him, eyes wide,

"Lucille!"