sin and sawdust

23

"What?" Negan yelled back, "I got Lucille here,"

He patted the baseball bat next to him and Eve shook her head. She was reeling, her brain racing along at speed.

"Your wife." She stated, not knowing how to say what she needed to.

"How do you...?"

"At the beginning, do you not remember?"

The corner of Negan's mouth twitched, a blink and you'd miss it action but Eve clocked it.

"You do remember! Is this why I'm here?" Eve's mind whirled with questions, she couldn't breathe.

Negan ran his hand over his face and took a deep breath.

"Are you fucking crazy? Do you know how many people I've met since then? Do you know how much shit has happened between then and now?"

His voice cracked, Eve knew he was lying but after the outburst at the prison she daren't follow it through, so she remained silent.

Negan started up the engine again, his black mood had returned and he drove like a maniac back to the Sanctuary, not a word exchanged between them. By the time the van rolled over the gravel into the Sanctuary, the tension was palpable and it was making Eve feel nauseous. Her only saving grace at this point was the haul she'd left them to at the prison, she hoped it was enough to earn her some good will with Negan.

He launched himself from the cab and tossed the keys to a guy stood nearby.

"Unload this shit, make sure every fucking thing is accounted for," and he stalked off, Lucille slung over his shoulder, into the main building and out of sight.

Eve followed him a minute later, but headed straight to her room and locked the door. Her mind was racing with the implications of what she had realised.

How could she have forgotten them? They had spent a month or so together, when her husband was still here after meeting Negan on the road, searching for the meds that his wife had needed. She was so damn sick. Eve had thought of her often after she had left them. She wondered if she'd made it. A small tear ran from her as she mulled over the information. Lucille had been a hell of a woman, full of fire and kindness. Eve had adored her, finding her husband, Negan, to be weak somewhat and more of a hindrance to them. How he'd managed to turn out this way was anyones guess but grief was a funny thing.

Eve kicked off her boots, and washed her face in the small sink. She couldn't deny though, that this new Negan, well... He certainly made up for any shortcomings he'd had in the beginning and it turned out, that was very fucking attractive.

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Negan slammed his door open, sending a stack of papers on his desk whirling into the air.

"Fuck!" He shouted into the room, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

How could he have been so stupid? To have thought that she wouldn't know, she wouldn't remember.

He sat at his desk and put his head in his hands, Lucille had asked him to find her. One of the last things she'd ever requested of him, she felt they owed it to her after what had happened to her husband. But he never in a million years thought that she'd turn up here, just walk back into his life after so long but seeing her sat with Laura that day, he couldn't believe it. She'd survived. The breath had been knocked out of him, his final link to Lucille sat in the flesh staring at him like a ghost. He'd often wondered if she knew, if she was waiting for the right opportunity to bring up their link but the longer it went on, it was clear she didn't remember him and inexplicably, it hurt him, so he'd carried on like they were strangers.

He stood up and paced the room, he had to make things right. Explain somehow. He owed it to her, fuck, he owed her so much. She brought joy and happiness to Lucille in her last weeks, made the inevitable easier on both of them and in return, Negan had led to death of her husband. She had left without a word that day and it broke his wife's heart to watch her go.

He slipped off his jacket and slung it onto his bed, sitting on the edge of it, contemplating his next move. The situation was precarious at best, he needed to judge it carefully and consider every angle. Now that she was aware, Eve could have all manner of things on her agenda and Negan needed to make sure that she wasn't out for blood.

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Eve stood under the hot stream of water and let the heat wash away her stresses. Her thoughts inevitably turned to her husband, Ben. He wasn't cut out for this world, he was too soft. Not in a bad way, his softness is what drew her to him in the first place. He balanced her fire with calm, her hot-headedness with rationality. When the world had gone to hell, he had kept Eve level when she'd lost her shit over and over again in the beginning. He'd been a source of calm and quiet but as the weeks dragged on and the situation got worse, he'd began to unravel. It was too much for him, too much to bear and Eve became his protector. It was a weird dynamic but one that suited them. Finding Lucille and Negan had been a blessing, it gave Ben a purpose again. A doctor in the life before, having a patient was a lifeline for him as much as it was Lucille. Until Negan had convinced him to come on that run for meds, that is.

Eve pushed it out of her mind and finished her shower. Her anger over the situation had long since dissipated, Ben had died trying to help someone. She just hated that she hadn't been there to help him, that she may have been able to change the outcome somehow.

She dressed quickly and headed back to her room. She turned the corner and saw Negan leant up against the wall outside her door.

"We need to talk," he stated as she approached.

"No shit," Eve replied, "Better come in then,"