sin and sawdust

26

The sun was already rising as Eve punched her pillow, trying to get comfortable for what felt like the thousandth time since she'd thrown herself into bed. Her mind was swirling with so many thoughts, so fast she could barely keep track, Negan, Simon, Daryl, her husband, Lucille, back to Negan again. Always back to Negan and it was fucking infuriating.

She had to leave. There was nothing for her here, never was and never will be.

Could be, if you let it just happen

Eve dragged her hands across her face, she didn't have the energy for a mental battle with her own subconscious, she swung her legs from her bed and grabbed her rucksack from the chair. It was already packed with her essentials, she just needed a bit of food to see her through while she got as far away from Sanctuary as possible.

She opened the door quietly, peering out into the silent corridor, half expecting, inexplicably, Negan to be standing there and felt infuriatingly disappointed when he was not. She jogged slowly and soundlessly towards the kitchen, hoping it was still early enough for nobody to be in there yet, even Val. Especially Val. She would know something was wrong in a heartbeat and Eve couldn't bear the thought of having to say goodbye to the cranky old bitch.

Eve skidded to halt mere feet from the mess hall and shrank back against the wall as the sound of a hushed, angry argument reached her ears. Her heart sank, the voices were unmistakable, Negan and Simon and they both sounded pissed. She strained to make out the argument, only making out muddled parts of it.

Alexandria...
This week...
Rick...

Her heart stopped at the mention of Rick. Could it be the same? Surely not? She crept closer, her curiosity winning out over her self preservation, she tried to get as close as she could without being spotted, not noticing the broom propped up against the wall until it was too late.

It clattered to the ground, the wooden thuds as it bounced amplified in the silence,

"Who the fuck is there?" Simons grating tones made Eve shudder and she took off running down the nearest corridor, Negans voice echoing behind her, he hadn't made her out or he'd be calling her name, she figured.

Eve kept moving until she could no longer hear the calling behind her, coming to a breathless stop in the same section of the compound she'd found herself on last time she ran from Negan. She slid down the wall opposite the door she now knew housed the rudimentary prison block and sat, with her head in her hands, contemplating and cursing every decision she'd ever made that had led her to this point,

"Fuck sake," she hissed to herself, scrunching her hands into her hair in frustration.

Her head shot up as she heard a small cough coming from the direction of the cells, followed by another until it became a deep, hacking cry.

"Hello?" Eve called out quietly, "Who's there? Are you OK?"

No answer.

Eve slid her butt across the floor, closer the sound of the sniffling sobs, which sounded decidedly male.

"Hello," she tried again, with a little more authority, "Do you need any help?"

"Fuck off!" The voice that answered cracked, whoever it was, was clearly going through it.

"Fine, be that way," she tossed back, slightly offended,

"Don't need no help, not from any of you Saviour pricks," the voice had regained a little strength, Eve noted and the sniffling had stopped. Definitely male, rude bastard. Also vaguely familiar, the fact didn't quite register with Eve in her own current state, however.

"I'm not a prick, thanks," Eve snapped back, "And you can go fuck yourself,"

She waited briefly for a reply, but none came,

"Why are you in there?"

No answer.

"It's rude to ignore a person, you know,"

The prisoner scoffed, but still didn't reply.

"Listen pal, you're the one stuck in there sobbing like a toddler, I'm just trying to be friendly here. Speak, don't speak, it's no skin off my nose," Eve ranted at the stranger, all her frustration bubbling to the surface.

"I said I don't want help!"

Eve stood up, her fury finally boiling over.

"Well, just fucking rot then!"

She stomped off back along the corridors to her room, carefully avoiding any areas where she mught run into Negan or Simon.

When she arrived, she swung the door open in a huff and came face to face with Negan sitting in her armchair.

"Out." Eve stated, pointing at the door, not allowing herself to make eye contact with the grinning asshole making himself at home in her room.

"You spying on me, Eve?" Negan replied, that infuriating grin still plastered across his stupid face.

"Out!" Eve repeated, a little louder and forceful this, despite feeling her fight slowly draining as she closed her eyes against the sight of him.

Negan stood up, hands held palm up towards her,

"I'm going, I'm going," he smirked, brushing past her as he made to leave the room.

Eve stepped back to avoid any further contact but Negan spun elegantly back towards her, pushing her back into the room and closing the door in one fluid movement. He advanced on her, gripping the back of her neck gently with a gloved hand, eyes boring into hers. Eve made a feeble attempt to duck away but his fingers at the nape of her neck made her toes curl in a way that she wasn't ready for.

"Stop fighting," Negan stated in low voice and the last vestige of fight flew away from Eve like a feather in the breeze.

Negan lowered his face to hers, gently but firmly pressing his lips to hers and Eve let out a small moan. She felt him smile against her lips and what felt like her entire body melted into him. Her knees buckled beneath her, allowing Negan to scoop her up into his arms and kiss her again.

Guilt ran through Eve's veins like it had replaced her blood. Guilt, shame and lust. She didn't know whether she was coming or going, the feeling was all too much and before she realised what was happening, her eyes flooded and she let out a sob.

Negan pulled back from her, concern replacing the assured arrogance that had only moments ago seeped from him. He placed her on her bed and Eve curled into him, letting the heaving sobs wrack her body until she fell into a deep sleep.

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Negan stayed with Eve, holding her until she passed out. He took off her boots and jacket carefully before covering her with a blanket. He kicked off his own boots and jacket, locked the door and climbed in carefully next to her, holding her tight to his chest and allowed himself to fall asleep right alongside her.