Colors [Yoonmin]

36.

"So things are getting pretty serious with Jimin and you huh?" Taehyung asked.

Yoongi flipped through his patient's chart and shrugged, trying to not be faced by his friend's comment. Deep down though his heart was beating very fast and he hoped he didn't blush or sweat.

"Namjoon and I are pretty serious. We've connected over the last few weeks." Jin smirked recalling their car encounter. He had to snap out of it before he got lost in his thoughts.

"I bet. I did see you two sneak out into your car." Taehyung cringed, visualizing what could've possibly happened there.

"Are you stalking me?"

"No. I just happened to see you guys on the way to my office."

"What about Jungkook? Is he your official partner?" Jin asked.

"Of course he is."

"But you're still at the hand holding stage?" Jin wondered.

Taehyung blushed, "Ahh! Why is it necessary to talk about such things?"

"You're on third base?" He giggled like a teenager.

This got Yoongi's attention and he slowly looked up from his chart. Taehyung and Jin kept giggling like teenage boys having sex for the first time. So why was he so jealous of them?

"He finally joined our club!" Jin cheesed and nudged Yoongi.

"I think I joined it way before you did." Taehyung said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Yoongi tell him that...what's wrong?" Taehyung asked once he noticed how quiet he had gotten.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just trying to figure out how to do this surgery without it being too invasive. I want to limit the exposure to infection."

Jin picked up the paper and scanned it, "Easy. You make an incision across the middle or you can do the left side of the abdomen underneath the rib cage. You're an excellent general surgeon and you've done this plenty of times before. It'll have to be invasive. You can't remove a spleen through a little cut."

"Right, right." Yoongi murmured, biting the inside of his lip.

"But you already knew that." Taehyung said, resting his hands on the counter.

Yoongi could feel himself growing more and more nervous at his friend's looks. "Fine! Jimin and I haven't spent a night together. We have, but we just sleep."

"Aha! I'm not the last to join the club! Woohoo! In your face Jin! In your fucking face!" Taehyung yelled a little too excited.

"Aww. You're taking it slow." Jin said with a grin.

"Shut up. The opportunity just hasn't come up and I don't want to either way. I mean, I do but it's not something that's on my mind all the time."

Lies.

"Maybe when you go to his apartment things will escalate." Taehyung nudged.

"Geez. Do you only think about sex?" Yoongi asked, a little embarrassed.

"Yes." Taehyung and Jin responded in unison.

"I'm not some horny teenage boy. I'm thirty and I know how to control my emotions, okay?"

"We've known you for years." Jin started. Yoongi huffed rolling his eyes, he knew where this conversation was leading to.

Of course now that they were on this topic, Jimin and Jackson happened to be walking by. Jackson was instructing him something and then he walked away a few seconds later.

"Don't tell you don't undress him with your mind? Tonight when you go over to his apartment, you grab him the—"

"Dick."

"No Taehyung! Don't grab him the dick. You start of slow and romantic to get the mood started and then—"

"Okay! I don't need classes." Yoongi interrupted.

Taehyung slowly snickered as Yoongi quickly shoved them away. "Bye now. Go save lives! Bye! Get the fuck out."

He exhaled and turned his back on his laughing friends. Jimin happened to be looking at him and he gave him a sweet smile.

For a split second, Yoongi smiled back out of purity. Then his mind slowly unraveled into a lustful mess with unhinged thoughts.

Yoongi's face turned red as the familiar arousal puddled inside his stomach. He gulped down nervously as he turned the opposite way.

So much for purity because he was undressing him with his mind.

•••

"You actually scheduled an appointment? That's quite bizarre." Hoseok said with a smile.

Yoongi sighed loudly laying down on the red couch. He had the pillow on top of his chest and he kept gripping it. The inside was memory foam so it was both satisfying and calming.

He took a few seconds and then sat up moving the pillow to the side. His fingers were fidgeting nervously on top of his lap.

It seemed like he couldn't get comfortable, so he ended up laying back down and putting the pillow on top of his chest yet again.

"I know. I thought I would try to schedule one and see if it makes a difference."

"Well, does it?"

"No, not really."

"How can I help you today?"

"Jimin asked me to be his boyfriend. Well, it wasn't a question per say. It was more of a statement."

"Okay, what did you say?"

"I couldn't even respond. I started to and then my tongue got tied and I started feeling so nervous. I couldn't even finish my sentence."

"Do you want to be his boyfriend?"

"No. Yes. No. I don't know!" He shrieked anxiously.

"It's okay. Take some time to relax and think about it. Is Jimin pressuring you to give him an answer?"

"No, but I can tell he got hurt when I didn't give him a definite answer."

"What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared to make it official because I don't want to lose him too. I haven't liked a person, really liked them in years. Not since my husband died. After I buried him I didn't plan on having another relationship or feeling this way ever again."

"What happened to your husband is tragic. I know nothing prepares you for unexpected loss. It's one of the worst pains to overcome and it leaves you emotionally scarred for life. However, living in this fear will do you no good. You can't keep living your life like this. You're here and you come to therapy. That's the first step that shows that you love yourself and that you care about your mental health. Believe me when I say this, if you were to date Jimin or any other person that does not make you a bad person. When you said forever to your husband you meant that and you kept your promise. Death tore you apart from him. You're doing nothing wrong in moving on."

Yoongi felt a sense of relief for a brief moment. He remained quietly staring up at the wall. A part of him wanted to speak again, but he found comfort in his own silence.

For the rest of the session Hoseok let him quietly rest.