What Fades Away

chapter 6: how can I make it ok?

a/n: this part is a long one, so buckle up kitty cats. This chapter has it all: angst, spice, Yelena kicking Bucky's ass, and Peter making questionable decisions.

CW: slightly graphic autopsy description

Another killing occurs two days after Mara moves in. Seventeen. Sam only found out because Officer Fisher called him early one Tuesday morning. It took three days before they found her body, hidden in Lincoln Park. Sam wouldn't tell Mara or the other women how she died, only that they can't identify her using facial recognition. Guilt creeps into Mara as she wonders if this is payback for her hiding out with Kate. They still don't know who the woman is. Three weeks go by and there's no more murders, lulling the city into a sense of security.

It is also that long before Mara really starts to feel like she has a place of her own in the tower. She misses the cozy quality of her old apartment, the lease currently on hold due to the circumstances. Mara may have also had Captain America put in a word with her landlady.

Her room is located beside Kate and Yelena's at the end of the hall, furthest from the entrance in case someone were to try and get into their living space. Mara thought it was ridiculous, taking all these measures when they were 14 floors up and she was surrounded by superheroes.

Yelena convinced Mara it was a good idea, passing it off as her own. In reality, Bucky had been the one to suggest it privately to the Black Widow. He knew Mara wouldn't be any more inclined to accept if he brought it up. She'd probably say no out of spite. It's also only a coincidence that Mara's room is across from Bucky's.

Mara's room is large, almost as big as her entire apartment in Brooklyn. All of her things from her old place were delivered a few days after Mara made the decision to move in. Kate bet Bucky $20 that he couldn't move Mara's couch with one hand, a bet which she quickly lost. He snuck the $20 back into her bag later the same day.

She throws herself into work, spending hours organizing and labeling files and photos for the Avengers, even sending a few pictures to her supervisor at the museum. Mara hasn't even started with the digital resources, instead choosing to focus on what she knows best. She also visits a few public schools in Brooklyn and Queens, using the materials she has to teach elementary school kids about World War II and their neighborhood heroes. As a reward they get a visit from Spiderman.

All this work is a distraction, an excuse to have absolutely nothing to do with Bucky Barnes. After their moment together the night she decided to move in, Mara doesn't know how to patch up the walls around herself that Bucky cracked. They are rarely alone together, Mara making a quick escape anytime he enters the same space as her. At first Kate was helping, letting her know if he had left the compound and when he returned. After a week, she was tired of it and just started rolling her eyes as her sister tried to sneak away from a former assassin.

This family that Sam has put together is weird and chaotic, but heartwarming. The three youngest members know what it's like to be alone, having suffered a great deal of loss. Sam and Bucky serve as surrogate guardians for them, relegating roles and helping make decisions when needed. Mara comes to realize that it involves a lot of keeping them from killing or hurting each other, Sam and Bucky included.

"Hey, Mr. Barnes, can you show me how to do that cool knife thing?"

"What? What knife thing?"

"You know, the one where you lay your hand on the table and poke in between your fingers really fast, like in the movies?"

"I mean...sure."

"Barnes, you show him how to do that and I'll show him how that game usually ends."

"I got a metal arm, Belova, what are you gonna do? Stab me?"